Jul 2, 2008

The Catfish Is King.



David Beard's Catfish King,
It's a lot like goin' home.


Are you singing along?


What? You don't know what I'm talking about?


That's the Catfish King theme song. Get with it, people.


So yesterday Remi got a hold of my computer. Really, she did. I know you think I probably typed as she dictated. But that couldn't be further from the truth. She is a prodigy. I'm not lying.


So after we left the zoo last week we were all hungry. Now, granted, if you look closely at us in those pictures you may be left with the distinct impression that it wouldn't hurt any of us to miss a few meals. But you would be wrong. It would hurt...a lot.


So off we go to Chik-fil-A because I'm pretty sure that's what you do if you live in the South, it's the summer and you have a toddler. Besides, I didn't have any more diapers or wipes on me and the sweet Lord in heaven knows you can find about 27 moms there carrying diaper bags. So off we go....


But OH NO!!! I just had to open my big, fat mouth and suggest, you guessed it - Catfish King.


I hadn't eaten at a Catfish King in ages and since I don't have IBS at all...no, uh-uh, not at all...I thought it would be just a wonderful thing to do. Just wonderful. All that grease. And salt. And grease.


And grease.


So we pull in and what to my wondering eyes do I behold? A salad bar! A real, live, open to the public, old-school, salad bar. With Bac-O's and those really little, square croutons. And iceberg lettuce - not the fancy stuff. Oh, yeah! I can totally eat healthy here.


I order the catfish platter.


Salad bar, not included.


I couldn't' help it y'all. I love fish. And it loves me. It just prefers not to be deep fried. Whereas I prefer it to.


Now, let me start by saying that there are five of us ladies and one little girl. Chances are, lovelier ladies you have not seen. We looked like someone they had just ambushed and thrown across a cop car on COPS.


But Catfish King?


It was hoppin'. I mean - HOPPIN'.


Let me tell ya, there was not a person over 72 in the entire place. And each and every one of them were sitting alone. Alllllll allllooonnneeee. Do you realize what this means?


Catfish King had become a pick-up joint.


No wonder my Granny said "yes" to the suggestion so quickly in the car.


Have you seen her? She's a babe.


I told her this might be her lucky day. But she just called me an "idiot" and told me to order for her while she went to sit down.


Sit down? Yeah, right. Scope the place is more like it.


We proceed with our lunch. I am feasting on deep-fried crap and my child is eating vegetables and lettuce and things like watermelon and carrot sticks (because God is playing a cruel, mean joke on me). When my daughter spots a lovely, older lady sitting at the booth just down from us.


She is alone.


Well, obviously. I mean, instead of the old men buying her drinks I think I saw the waitress keep carrying out things of tarter sauce and saying, "This is from the gentleman in the John Deere cap in the corner."


Flattering.


Now, at this point I am pretty invested in my catfish. Not to mention I'm on my 8th Mr. Pibb when Granny punches me and tells me, "Make her mind."
"Huh?"
"Make her mind."

"Make who mind."
"Your daughter. She is talking to people again."


And sure enough, I look over and there sits Remi, perched up in the booth across the table from this little old lady. Who seems genuinely pleased to have the company, I might add.


And I think to myself, how do you discipline a child for being friendly?
Obtrusive? Yes.
Bossy? Sure.
Rude? Absolutely.
But friendly? How do I do this?


About then I heard Remi say, "You gon' eat dat?" as she pointed to the ladies french fries.


Do you understand the gravity of this moment?


She's eating FRENCH FRIES!! She's my child again. And I squealed with delight at the fact that she was once again consuming things that are horrifically bad for her but that mommy fixes on a nightly basis.


And the world was whole again.


And yes, I did figure I best get my child down from there considering that sweet lady might have been lookin' to score and I figure these guys in Catfish King don't play. They see a lady with a kid - well, you can forget about it.


And she was looking so lovely and summery. It was only right that she leave there with a little tarter for her sauce.


(Note: See how I took a story and somehow made it all about the SAUCE? That's for you all...my saucy little "sits"tas. Ingenious, no?)

59 comments:

ugagirl30 said...

Don't stone me....but I've never even heard of Catfish King. But I'll be sure if I am ever single again (before I am 72), I promise I'll find one so I can get a little "tarter" for my sauce. Thanks for looking out for a sista!

Z's Mom said...

I've never heard of the Catfish King either....but I'm picturing something like Captain D's (not sure if that is a midwest thing or not). I always order the chicken anyway. That's funny how its a "pick up" joint though...
And now of course you've made me hungry...

Rph Mommy said...

Hello fellow SITSa! I've never heard of Catfish King, but I've spent my fair share of summer lunches at the Chick Fil 'A. (Do you have the problem of a mad chick fil 'a craving on a SUNDAY? I do.)

Love your blog. Love your writing. Brilliant.

Nonna said...

I'm a fellow SITS!! And I LOVE Catfish King!! They have great fish! Gees, Im getting hungry just thinking about it!
Congrats on being featured today!!

Angie said...

That's a pretty impressive use of the word sauce. :-) Congrats on being the featured SITSta today! I'm not familiar with Catfish King either, but I've spent many a day at the Chick-Fil-A! And, I love to scrapbook AND consume tons of buttercream icing. Maybe you like me just a little?!

Z's Mom said...

OOOOHHHH....congrats on being featured on SITS today! I hand't been to the sauce's site yet before I came here this morning...

Enjoy your day.....its all about you!!!! ;)

Alicia said...

Oh my gosh, that is priceless! Sounds like something my 13 month old will be doing in the near future.

Congrats on SITS!

Colleen said...

Fellow SITS here. Is it bad to say I am slightly curious in this Catfish King? If I ever make it to the south, it will be my first stop! Congrats on being featured, your blog is excellent!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Good morning!! Never head of the Catfish King either but maybe I can open a franchise up and play elderly match-maker!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ab said...

I feel like I'm missing out on the wonderfulness of Catfish King. I too, have never heard of it. All I have to say is I would talk to a stick if it would talk back, so I wouldn't be surprised if my daughter ends up the same way!

Looks like I'm going to have to go track down something friend and delicious for at least one meal today!

The Collins Family said...

Sounds delicious! Love the part about knowing you can find a diaper at CFA! We had dinner there last night!

Deanna said...

Yay for you! You're the SITS featured blogger today!

Haven't heard of Catfish King, but I'm pretty sure if there was one near here that it would be as near and dear to my heart as Chicken Express is. :)

Deanna said...

Do they have good hush puppies? I looooove good hush puppies. I just never can seem to make then right, though.

Glamorous Life of a House Wife said...

Mmm, I too, love me a good hushpuppy! Great site - you tell a story the way I like to hear them! :) Congrats, Sitsta!

Bobbi said...

Put me in with the group that has never heard of Catfish King! Love your blog. Congrats on being the SITS blogger of the day! Aren't those SITS gals great!

TheMama said...

You are a hoot!

Being a New Englander, I have only ever had hushpuppies once, in Apalachicola, Florida. Where I was the token Yankee and driving directions involved a Piggly Wiggly. Fish out of water much?

The hushpuppies rocked anyway!

Enjoy being SITS Queen for a Day!

Bad Mommy said...

She sounds lovely :) And anything deep fried is a good thing.

Kori said...

Catfish King? We don't have one of those here but we do have a Catfish Junction. Guess it's probably one in the same. I have been visiting your blog for a while now and I think I have commented once or twice. But I do read it pretty often. Congrats on the SITS feature That rocks!

Party of 5 said...

How cute is that. Your DD seems like a very sweet young lady.

Even if she is stealing fries. hehe

Deanna said...

No wonder my Mammaw used to make me take her to the Captain D's every time I went to visit... and asked me to sit at a different table. Ha!

LOVE your blog. I started reading and couldn't stop. Your are now partly responsible for my being late for signing my son up for camp... or at least that is the excuse I am going to use!

Have a great day, SITSsa chick!

Sidney said...

Love, love, love your blog! Congrats on being the featured SITSta!

Sue said...

Hey SITSta!!! Catfish? Look, anything deep fried in batter is gonna be good, right? That was a great post.

Kaza said...

Good morning SITsta! Hilarious story! Enjoy all the comment love today!

Rhea said...

Your Remi is adorable, and I love this story. Love it, love it, love it. Congrats on your special SITS day!

ugagirl30 said...

Congrats on being featured. When I first arrived this morning, they had not posted the daily queen on SITS. Now everyone can see what a trip you are. Hoo HOO!

The Pink Potpourri said...

great blog! enjoyed reading it. so, seminary, huh? which one? i happen to work at one, and my husby is a student here too...

Lula! said...

Melissa Lee, I'm the 28th to comment. THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY. Thats' all. I know...you can hardly believe it, huh?

monica @ transplanting me said...

my first SITsta comment... woot.woot.

i am all too familiar with the catfish king. but not the song. and i must say fried catfish sounds so good right now. and tartar sauce?? what is not to love.

love that your daughter was chattin' with that lovely lady. even if she was just after the fries.

Melissa said...

Never heard of Catfish King, but it sounds awesome. If they have a website, I will peruse.....to see if they have gluten-free batter...and a location in Florida! Thanks for makin' it saucy. Smooch!

Jill said...

Hello SITSsa - Fabulous blog - you are one HILARIOUS chick!

Never heard of Catfish King... though I grew up in California and we live overseas, so I'm very out of the loop.

Glad I popped by!

Kimberly said...

Great story and congrats on being the Saucy blog of the day!

Have to admit to being a fried Catfish King fan too though I've never noticed that it was a pickup place. A little young I think, but I'll keep it in mind as I may still be single in 30 years... :)

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

My parents LOVE Catfish King. We have them all over East Texas. You are absolutely correct, the "in crowd" is usually carrying an AARP card, using their walkers to get to their table, and calling the meal "supper". All of this is probably occurring at 11:00am, because that is when you eat lunchafter you wake up before 5am.

Katie Says said...

I don't think there is a Catfish King in Texas. Never heard of it. But this story was hilarious! I need to send my grandma there to get some action. ;)

Gramma 2 Many said...

If I am ever single, I will go see if Ivar's offers the same amenities. There is not a Cat Fish King in the Pacific Northwest and I do not think I will ever live in the South again.
Congratulations on being the featured Sits Blogger today. You have given me more than one laugh.
Don't think I will ever make it to PF Changs either!!!

Karen said...

I'm going to join the chorus and say that I've never heard of Catfish King either... or Chicken-Fil-A ... I did discover Wing Stop recently, yummmmm

One- said...

I didn't even know you were being featured today, because I went to your page first. Cuz you are on my friends list. I mean we are tight, like Monica and Rachael! Lol- I do love your wit and charm. I sometimes wish that I could spend the day with Rhemi myself. She sounds like a hoot! No catfish kings in Las Vegas. Unfortunately, lots of strip clubs. Hey maybe they smell the same! Okay, that was a crude joke. But it's "Day 2" for me today, and I have declared it a National Holiday for myself. Therefore, I am not responsible for much of anything. Thanks for the laughs on this Day 2 of mourning.

Sarah Mae said...

I guess catfish king is a rare species - at least around my area! I've never heard of it either! Sounds yummy though...

Ginny said...

Never heard of catfish king.

I love your blog design :)

Lula! said...

Whatever, Melissa. Whatever.

Kara said...

Eating at chik-fil-a is DEFINITELY what you do if you live in the south, it's summer, and have a toddler! At least for me. Funny story about Catfish King.

Bella's momma said...

OH honey you are a STAR!!!

Congratulations for being in 'the sauce'.

I cried tears of joy when I read that Remi had finally returned a normal child who loves fries!!! Thank goodness for this~

Have a great day Ms. Thing!

Krista @ Bits and Pieces

Rae said...

Chik-fil-A has the BEST honey mustard! I used to live in Mississippi and I think there were more Chik-fil-A's than McD's. Alas, I have never ever heard of or eatin at Catfish King...I have a feeling I've missed out!

Debbie said...

I've never heard of Catfish King. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever eaten at Chik-fil-A. Can we still be buds?

leezee52 said...

Congrats on being the SITS girl of the day!

Dena said...

Never heard of Catfish King, but I love seafood too. We have a place here called Pier 66 fish house and it is to die for. Congrats on being featured on SITS!

tinabean1988 said...

Congrats on being the featured Girlie!!!
I love your blog you are so cute and your stories are great.
Thanks for sharing!!!

Suzanne's Blog, Jane's Blog said...

Never heard of Catfish King, but then again I am up north. Great post. Congrats on being the FBOTD (janes blog)

Swirl Girl said...

The tarter sauce pick up sent me to the floor! I actually snorted!!

I can just see it now, the adult day care bus pulls up front, drops the hydraulic chair lift - and the sparks just fly from there!!

Cougar king or Catfish king??

LisaPetrarcaBlog said...

The way you describe Catfish King..."the elderly pick up joint", I am picturing a "Seafood" Sizzler, am I close?!?

The local pick up joint for the mature women (you have to say MATURE here...elderly, older, etc. is highly offensive in Orange County, CA.), would be at the local yacht club, where they can prance around flaunting their "DD" boob jobs, skin pulled so tight they can only try to smile or wink at their prey...well I think you can get the picture of our city's hang outs!LOL!

I LOVED your story and will be back for more! Thanks for the laugh.

Heather said...

Popping in from SITs and now have a side stitch from all the laughing. So glad I found your blog!

I *don't* scrapbook and I've yet to meet a buttercream iced confection I don't love....... :D

Thanks for the laughs - I'm bookmarking your blog now!

Cheers!

Jen said...

Checking you out from SITS. What a funny blog. I am a scrapbooker, sorry, I love it, but I also love buttercream icing. I can eat along, no cake needed.

stephanie davis said...

oh my! Catfish King..... my grandparents favorite place to eat!!!! on friday nights!! they're still married though, i guess on fridays its a hang out place for 70 and older!!! and yes, the hushpuppies are awesome and the green tomato relish to die for!!!!!

Tam said...

HI Came over from SITS...this was so very funny. I have never heard of a a Catfish KING...lol I laughing so very hard about Chik-fil-a....I am in GA and yes that is what you do when you GOT TODDLERS..lol OK I checked out your profile and it was so funny. I am not a crafty person by any means but I do however Scrapbook. I thought it was so funny..."I don't trust anybody that Scrapbooks"! I fell over reading that. I have friend who feels the same way but she CLOSET scrapbooks.
Yes she is a Closet Scrapbooker! So I know I know you will trust a thing I commented about because I am a Scrapbooker. well not a real one by the standards of SCRAPBOOKERS...lol I just am trying to put together MY kiddos baby books which I have not had much success at. LOL LOL LOL Anyway this post was way tooooo funny!!!!

Sometimes Sophia said...

Thoroughly enjoyable blog! Way to go, girl!

Lynda said...

Great post - and now you have 56 comments - your blog is great - I am going to be a regular - thanks!

Amy said...

Girl--I am from Paris, Texas...still live there too. We have a Catfish King on North Main Street!! I know exactly what it is! But..I dont like ANY form of seafood so...I dont go there...I do, however, LOVE me some fried bread (hushpuppies)..who wouldnt love that?! Good luck to granny!

ann said...

I want a Catfish King here. Now. Right now.

Heather said...

Thanks for the flashback, I think!
I used to work at a Catfish King, when I was just out of HS. We.Will.Not.Talk.About.How.Long.Ago.That.Was!
Thanks for more laughs!