Senior Road Trip.

This blog post either
a.) needs much explanation or
b.) needs none.

I am not sure which.

So I am going to go with the "less is more" approach. I am simply going to tell you that yesterday I traveled out of town with my Uncle Dave, my Granny, my aunt Melba and my mom. They went in order to spend time with some family that lives out of town. I went because I needed material for my blog.

And boy, did I get it.

The following is a list of things you might have heard had you been stuck sitting in a van with Angelina counties finest senior citizens. God help you.

"Now that's a good little place to get an onion."

"She bought you a vibrator. Did you already lose it?" (This was in reference to a back massager that they still refer to as anything but a back massager.)

"She wears so much perfume it makes daddy want to choke. Every time he was around her he wanted to choke. "

"Hey! My phones ringin'! How do I answer it? How do I answer it?" (After answering it...) "Hello, there! You're my first customer."

"I'm not supposed to tell you this. But if we promise to 'pray about it' I don't really see anything wrong with telling you."

"You can't stake out a church, can you? Can you stake out a church?"

"People in Hollywood are midgets."

"He says he's going down there to fish but he just sleeps. And he's too dumb to know there's MOCCASINS!"

"Sometimes God blesses you with free bras."

"Are they cute?"
"They are not cute."
"They're not cute?"
"Well, they tried to fix themselves up..."
"Mother, they are not cute. So just turn around."

"Uncle Dave, on a scale of 1 to 10 how much fun are you having?"
"He's not getting anything he wasn't expecting!"

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