Feb 10, 2010

Senior Road Trip.

This blog post either
a.) needs much explanation or
b.) needs none.

I am not sure which.

So I am going to go with the "less is more" approach. I am simply going to tell you that yesterday I traveled out of town with my Uncle Dave, my Granny, my aunt Melba and my mom. They went in order to spend time with some family that lives out of town. I went because I needed material for my blog.

And boy, did I get it.

The following is a list of things you might have heard had you been stuck sitting in a van with Angelina counties finest senior citizens. God help you.

"Now that's a good little place to get an onion."

"She bought you a vibrator. Did you already lose it?" (This was in reference to a back massager that they still refer to as anything but a back massager.)

"She wears so much perfume it makes daddy want to choke. Every time he was around her he wanted to choke. "

"Hey! My phones ringin'! How do I answer it? How do I answer it?" (After answering it...) "Hello, there! You're my first customer."

"I'm not supposed to tell you this. But if we promise to 'pray about it' I don't really see anything wrong with telling you."

"You can't stake out a church, can you? Can you stake out a church?"

"People in Hollywood are midgets."

"He says he's going down there to fish but he just sleeps. And he's too dumb to know there's MOCCASINS!"

"Sometimes God blesses you with free bras."

"Are they cute?"
"They are not cute."
"They're not cute?"
"Well, they tried to fix themselves up..."
"Mother, they are not cute. So just turn around."


"Uncle Dave, on a scale of 1 to 10 how much fun are you having?"
"He's not getting anything he wasn't expecting!"

Sign up now to reserve your spot for the next outing.

10 comments:

Tabi said...

Sounds entertaining to say the least! ;) Now, how can I be blessed in order to receive the free bras?

Debbie said...

Funny fodder! Thanks for sharing!

katy said...

Ha! LOVE IT!

Sarah said...

Great! I'm not alone when I hear some of the same weird comments from my folks...

Sissy said...

Whoa. If I only I knew what half of it meant! I would love to hear the rest of the conversation about the bras!

Lynda said...

As long as we pray about...lol

Cathy Miller said...

Hysterical! Sounds like you've spent time with some of my family!! Aren't families funny, wonderful things?

oldwomaninashoe said...

I spent some time in a hospital waiting room with my father one time. I called my sister and begged her to tell me I was adopted. lol So although your family sounds very entertaining...no thank you. I have my own comics to deal with.

Deb said...

was there also a seat belt hanging out the door making sparks as you went down the road???? now that would have been a trip

Sue said...

You are one of my favorite places to visit. I wish you lived close enough to be my face to face friend. There's no one who keeps me laughing like you. PLEASE write a book and let me know when it's published....I'll buy the first copy.