Side Notes.

Let me start by profusely apologizing to Steve Carrell and my Fake BFF Tina Fey, for implying that there were no other good 30 minute comedies on television besides Worst Week. What was I thinking?

I am so not a good American.

Sadly enough, Micheal Scott and Liz Lemon are two of the main reasons I wake up on Thursdays. Well, that, and there's a good chance it's Taco Ring night.

But I do apologize to my 12 readers who were steered so wrong in believing that Worst Week was the only thing good on T.V. (Although it really is so funny).
And I apologize to my friend who emailed me all in capitol letters and exclamation points in order to remind me of my love and dedication to Micheal Scott. (All caps + exclamation points = Yelling. That's just email etiquette.)
And I apologize to Tina Fey, who left me like 8 voice mails asking me to write an addendum to yesterday's post.

Done.

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I will now give you my chicken finger recipe.

Do you have your pens handy?

You'll want to grab them, because what I am about to give to you can not be found on 2 out of every 3 chicken tender recipes that you Google. Oh no, it can't.

Here it is. Melissa's Chicken Tender Recipe. Written out in Melissa style:

- Get some chicken tenders and thaw them out. Go ahead and fix alot because you will eat several of them before they get put on the table. Or the T.V. tray that you will prop up in front of your T.V.

- Get a bowl and put some eggs in it. Like, I don't know, maybe 3. Or 2. Whatever. Mix them up and add a little milk. I don't know how much milk. Just a little. Whatever you think. Then add some Tabasco to this. Ya know? Just to kick things up a bit. BAM!

- Then get another bowl and add flour. I don't care how much. A lot. Then add some seasoned salt. Like Lawry's. That's what Texans use.

- Now put your chicken tenders in the egg mix.

- Now roll them in the flour mixture.

- (And this is where you will really want to pay attention cuz even Paula doesn't do this. And she does almost everything right.) Now dip them in the egg mixture AGAIN.

- Oh, yeah. That's right! Momma's a double dipper. Now dip them in the flour mixture AGAIN!

- Now put them in some really hot vegetable oil IN A CAST IRON SKILLET. Do not make me laugh at you behind your back while you try to cook southern chicken in a Teflon skillet. Seriously.

- Now cook them like 5 minutes on each side. Or however long. It's up to you. Just don't burn them. And whatever you do - don't undercook them, because there is nothing worse than cutting into pink chicken. Oh, heavens.

- Place a few napkins on the plate before you lay your hot chicken on there because everyone knows that laying a few napkins down will soak up all of the fat and they will be almost negative in caloric intake.

- Sprinkle a little more seasoned salt. And serve them with honey mustard or homemade gravy. Which I do. Because eating double dipped, double salted, deep fried chicken just seems too healthy to me.

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Last Sunday Remi put something down the toilet.

Something big.

Chances are, something valuable.

We will never have the luxury of knowing, of course. Because thanks to an industrial strength plunger it was flushed into the great beyond.

I told the AG not to worry that we were only out about $50. Until we go to look for our left shoe...or our glasses...my favorite hairbrush...our remote...Meridith's car keys...etc...etc. It could be any number of things.

But it made me remember a quote that always made me laugh, as Niles Crane said to his brother, Frasier:

"Because we hired a plumber, that plumber can now afford to, say, buy a Dolly Parton album."

Later, my lovelies.