Oct 15, 2008

Side Notes.

Let me start by profusely apologizing to Steve Carrell and my Fake BFF Tina Fey, for implying that there were no other good 30 minute comedies on television besides Worst Week. What was I thinking?

I am so not a good American.

Sadly enough, Micheal Scott and Liz Lemon are two of the main reasons I wake up on Thursdays. Well, that, and there's a good chance it's Taco Ring night.

But I do apologize to my 12 readers who were steered so wrong in believing that Worst Week was the only thing good on T.V. (Although it really is so funny).
And I apologize to my friend who emailed me all in capitol letters and exclamation points in order to remind me of my love and dedication to Micheal Scott. (All caps + exclamation points = Yelling. That's just email etiquette.)
And I apologize to Tina Fey, who left me like 8 voice mails asking me to write an addendum to yesterday's post.

Done.

____________________________________________________________________________

I will now give you my chicken finger recipe.

Do you have your pens handy?

You'll want to grab them, because what I am about to give to you can not be found on 2 out of every 3 chicken tender recipes that you Google. Oh no, it can't.

Here it is. Melissa's Chicken Tender Recipe. Written out in Melissa style:

- Get some chicken tenders and thaw them out. Go ahead and fix alot because you will eat several of them before they get put on the table. Or the T.V. tray that you will prop up in front of your T.V.

- Get a bowl and put some eggs in it. Like, I don't know, maybe 3. Or 2. Whatever. Mix them up and add a little milk. I don't know how much milk. Just a little. Whatever you think. Then add some Tabasco to this. Ya know? Just to kick things up a bit. BAM!

- Then get another bowl and add flour. I don't care how much. A lot. Then add some seasoned salt. Like Lawry's. That's what Texans use.

- Now put your chicken tenders in the egg mix.

- Now roll them in the flour mixture.

- (And this is where you will really want to pay attention cuz even Paula doesn't do this. And she does almost everything right.) Now dip them in the egg mixture AGAIN.

- Oh, yeah. That's right! Momma's a double dipper. Now dip them in the flour mixture AGAIN!

- Now put them in some really hot vegetable oil IN A CAST IRON SKILLET. Do not make me laugh at you behind your back while you try to cook southern chicken in a Teflon skillet. Seriously.

- Now cook them like 5 minutes on each side. Or however long. It's up to you. Just don't burn them. And whatever you do - don't undercook them, because there is nothing worse than cutting into pink chicken. Oh, heavens.

- Place a few napkins on the plate before you lay your hot chicken on there because everyone knows that laying a few napkins down will soak up all of the fat and they will be almost negative in caloric intake.

- Sprinkle a little more seasoned salt. And serve them with honey mustard or homemade gravy. Which I do. Because eating double dipped, double salted, deep fried chicken just seems too healthy to me.

____________________________________________________________________________


Last Sunday Remi put something down the toilet.

Something big.

Chances are, something valuable.

We will never have the luxury of knowing, of course. Because thanks to an industrial strength plunger it was flushed into the great beyond.

I told the AG not to worry that we were only out about $50. Until we go to look for our left shoe...or our glasses...my favorite hairbrush...our remote...Meridith's car keys...etc...etc. It could be any number of things.

But it made me remember a quote that always made me laugh, as Niles Crane said to his brother, Frasier:

"Because we hired a plumber, that plumber can now afford to, say, buy a Dolly Parton album."

Later, my lovelies.

163 comments:

Does Anybody Hear Me said...

I love Michael Scott!! And I just discovered him this past summer. I have SO much catching up to do!

ugagirl30 said...

Maybe you could ask Tina Fey about the toilet locks from Baby Mama. I bet she'd give them to you.

I watched Worst Week yesterday online at your request. It was cute. Kinda "Meet the Fockers"-ish, but not as vulgar.

Mrs. De Miranda said...

Yum, I have not had good friend chicken in a while! My mom used to cook awesome fried chicken! Now when I decide to break down from my diet (haha) I am going to try it your way!!

Shelley said...

I LOVE you so much ( in a non lesbian kind of way). I wish you were my sister.
Thanks for the fried chicken tender recipe.

Sissy said...

I don't love Michael Scott as much as I love Jim and Pam. I have Jim and Pam post-its that I bought at Target.

Thanks for the recipe. And the laugh about good southern women and a cast iron skillet.

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

Poor Tina Fey. I think all this Sarah Palin stuff has her ego & self esteem messed up. Cute post & blog.

katy said...

Uhhh, feel like sharing the Taco Ring recipe? Or, did you already post it and I missed it somewhere? Thanks!

Kristan said...

I can't wait to try this recipe...also you have been tagged!! Check out my blog!!

Kori said...

When I was about 4 my Mom wanted me to eat an apple. Well I don't like apples never have. So I flushed a whole apple down the toilet. Well I attempted to anyway. Needless to say we had to call a plumber and he had to take our toilet up and get the apple out.

Still to this day I get teased about flushing the apple.

The Willmons said...

Was that the same Frasier episode where the Crane bros. discovered the plumber had a bigger Mercedes than they did? Because that was a pretty funny episode. Not as funny as the one where Niles passed out after burning his finger on the iron, or the one where Niles says "I'm not gay, Gui." Or...well I could go on.

Lynda said...

Comedy, Chicken, and Potty Problems...what more could a gal want first thing in the morning - lol - you're the best!

Rhonda said...

LOVE the chicken recipe!!!! Does it come with a free angiogram? lol

Kidding... I'm totally going to try it. In my teflon frying pan.

Katy Lin :) said...

mmmmm . . . sounds like i'm gonna fry me some chicken tenders tonite :) sounds delish :)

Jo Ann C. said...

My granddaughter flushed my favorite OPI nail polish down the toliet, one they discontinued!
Ya' know, ya' just can't take the TEXAN out of a Texas girl! You know how to cook girl! Every meal that I cook and have the kids over they ALWAYS argue over who is going to get the iron skillet when I die. Last Christmas I looked at April while Mark and Tiffany were in their usual argument over the skillet. She said "All I want is your BIG RED tupperware bowl Aunt Jo Ann." Sooo, I ordered April a big red bowl. I also ordered an iron skillet so that I could start cooking in another one and stop the arguing! Guess what, now it's "I'm older so I get the oldest one!" I softly just agreed. You can't cook in Texas without an iron skillet so I'll have to get one all seasoned up for the April now I guess. She is my precious niece ya know!Then there are the four granddaughters, oh well......

Midwest Mommy said...

Really the pan makes a difference? How so?
Thanks for the recipe.

Lynda said...

I had to chime back in - I have my great-grandmother's iron skillet - nothing, and I mean, NOTHING, cooks better than that thing!

** Sara ** said...

I stumbled on your blog- it is adorable. My husband's favorite dinner is the Taco Ring. I eat raw crossaint dough while making it and am usually to sick after to eat any of it.

** Sara ** said...

I stumbled on your blog- it is adorable. My husband's favorite dinner is the Taco Ring. I eat raw crossaint dough while making it and am usually to sick after to eat any of it.

Karen said...

I'm a double dipper too!!! Gotta try the tobasco though! The Hubby will LOVE that!!!

Finding Normal said...

I really want a taco ring now. Is there any way to make it without the PC thingie? Anyone?

Finding Normal said...

I really want a taco ring now. Is there any way to make it without the PC thingie? Anyone?

Ashley said...

I am sooo glad that the Taco Ring is still making in in the weekly rounds!

Aja Jenise said...

You are definitely my daily fix!! That and a Diet Coke. Now whats wrong with Teflon and frying... go ahead and laugh. But I need to learn these things at some point, and since you brought it up. Oh, i just found a cast iron skillet on Amazon.com. Hey thanks for the recipe... the recipe is as entertaining as the food, I am sure!!

Aja

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