Jul 8, 2008

Look Ma! I'm On A Shelf!

Okay, that was a whoooooollllleeeee lotta grief I took over that durn face mask. Deb called me The Lone Ranger...Deanna apparently thinks I need a nose job...and of course Lula just thinks I'm sexy (but really? What's new with that?)

Lucky I am a firm believer that "if you're going to dish it out you had better be able to take it." Oh wait, I got myself confused with someone mature there for a moment.

That's not me.

I'm more of the "if you're going to dish it out then do it fast and hard and then run like heck for the door."

Oh, yeah...that is definitely more me.

SO HA! I am not going to tell you all that it is an electric sinus mask.
And I am not going to tell you I got it at Wal-greens.
So there!

Okay, now comes our portion of the evening where I brag on myself.

Oh, did you not know that was part of the gig? Obviously you're new here. Welcome!

So about three months ago I was called in by one of our Publishing Companies here in town, Brentwood Benson, for a meeting. They are responsible for putting out some of the biggest and best Christmas and Easter musicals that are sung in churches each and every year. They have a new one coming out next year entitled "GOD SPEAKING" (you may have heard the song performed by artists Ronnie Freeman and Mandisa) and they want ME to write the narration for it.

Do you know what this means?
Me neither.
But my momma will be proud.

So I was going to tell you all then, but truthfully, I was pretty sure they would fire me soon after meeting me. I mean, I'm not sure what narration writers look like but I imagine they walk around with pencils behind their ears always ready at the slightest moment of inspiration. And they probably wear a lot of wrinkle-free Dockers so that they are able to bend down and pet a deer or help an old lady off a bench.

Now imagine me.

I'll help you.


See? No Dockers. In fact, there's a pretty healthy chance I forgot to even put on pants in that picture. We can't be sure.

So I came home after our meeting and started my task. Which involves getting into the Christmas spirit while filling up Remi's Timmy the Turtle Pool and rubbing Spf -3 on my body. However, I did light a Christmas scented candle in hopes that would help. But I just ended up making cookies and eating till I threw up.

However, I finally finished it and sent it to them. I went in yesterday for the dreaded meeting where they sit you down and tell you what they thought. And guess what? They loved it! Well, I don't know if they actually used the word "love" but there were some pretty strong words being flung around that room - so I'm going to stick with, "yes, yes they did use the word 'love'."

There were hardly any corrections they wanted to make and they said I wrote in a very conversational, relatable style that was very different and current. And of course I replied, "Hey - then you should read Somethin' Bad's Goin' Down at the Changs." Because if a good story about irritable bowl doesn't impress - nothing will.

So there you have it! I am going to be in Christian bookstores. Not those "wordly" bookstores like Barnes and Noble or Borders. Which serve *gasp* flavored coffee's and have *shutter* Sci-Fi sections. Babylon, I tell ya. Babylon.

It will be called GOD SPEAKING by: Tony Wood, Ronnie Freeman and Melissa Lee.

Or knowing my luck, GOD SPEAKING by: Tony Wood, Ronnie Freeman and Melinda Li.

41 comments:

~Sheila~ said...

You are hilarious woman.
I totally love spitting whatever I'm drinking straight at my monitor while I'm cracking up reading your posts (of course I call my kids over to me and ask them "who made this mess" and make them clean it up) but still....love you.

Also...CONGRATS...I hope they spell your name right.

Vicki said...

I just "met" you but I'm already a huge fan. I'm going to be standing in line waiting at the door at the midnight release...

They are going to have a midnight release for you right!?!?

Trish said...

oh i'm so glad i met you before you became famous! now you know i like you for you and not all of that money you'll be makin':)

congrats, this is really exciting and you should be proud!!!

ugagirl30 said...

Congrats! That's awesome.

I saw some awesome pics of Remi you had done in Texas. Is it a sign that I am on here waaaayyy to much when I pulled up the pics and it said Remi. I was all "Hey, that's Melissa's daughter." Small world, I tell you. A small, small world.

Sidney said...

Seriously, I did the whole spittin'-coffee thing also! My daycare kids thought I was nutso...

It will be fun to say we "knew her when...."

Congrats!!

Deanna said...

Oh my gosh!! You're going to be published! Do you know when they're looking at publishing? Congrats!!

Totally understanding that Christmas candles equal Christmas cookies.

Sherri said...

Wow!! Congrats!

Z's Mom said...

You are hilarious! Congratulations!

Trish said...

getout!!

that is so awesome! will you sign my copy?

btw.......you think I look like a serial killer in my goggles? have ya looked at oneself in that sinus thingy majiggy??
scare me.......

but i still love ya.

congrats on your fabulosity!

Taylor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rhonda said...

That's awesome, Mel. I saw Kste's email and so I had to come and check what she was talking about. It's about time.
Next year, maybe your pic will be hanging at Lifeway in place of the one of Travis that has been there for 10 years.

WheresMyAngels said...

Congrats! That is way cool!

Lisa said...

YOU ARE AWESOME!! I am so glad that the common-folk are getting a chance to experience the fabulousness that is Misha... we have known it for years. I am so proud of you. Proud enough in fact that I will buy a copy instead of waiting for my free one at Christmas. haha Oh, sorry, did I ruin your gift idea? :)
LW

-Bridget said...

That is so awesome! Congrats!

KimmyJ said...

Awesome! I am so proud of you. We knew her when she was a lowly blogger. :)

Melisa said...

Congratulations!!

Lula! said...

I'm certain that Sci-Fi reference was aimed at me. But we all know God was THE designer of Deep Space, therefore it's ordained and holy. I'm just sayin'. I didn't make it up.

Can I have Ronnie Freeman's autograph? And ooooooh, what about Mandisa's? 'Cause I love her version of "God Speaking."

I won't need your autograph. Close, personal friends don't do such as that. Especially when that close, personal friend is manning your merchandising table at your concerts. THAT'S MY JOB, remember?

Breanne Vasquez said...

My goodness. You are too funny!! Congrats - That is so great!!

The Collins Family said...

Oh girl - I bet your Mama's already had her sunday school class over for a social to announce this! I'd be willing to bet she's had a meeting with the choir director too!!! Good for you!

Michelle said...

Congratulations!! I can't wait to read it.

Deb said...

SHUT.UP. that is sooo cool melissa. do let us know when it will come out.


by the way...the mask was more lone ranger"ish" ;)

Rhea said...

Congrats! That is SO cool! You rock, girlfriend, totally!! How exciting!! Wahoo!!

Swirl Girl said...

I am so excited for you! Even a nice jewish girl would go to a Christian Book store to pick up a copy of your book. Doesn't that sound so awesome? Your book!

oh- and if the story is about an irratable bowl, then it makes it even more enticing...

love it!

Glamorous Life of a House Wife said...

You are too funny. :) Congrats on writing the narration! That's awesome. And here's to hoping they spell your name right!

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

No pants!
What kinda blog have I stumbled on here . . .

Robin said...

How fabulous for you! Congratulations!!

Jenn said...

Congratulations! :)

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

Wow, that is awesome. I am honored to get the chance to read your blog. How inspiring.

Heather W said...

I knew that your writing had to be published. Girl, you are just too talented to be giving it away for free. I mean your writing and nothing more. CONGRATS!!!

Bella's momma said...

Right now I am slappin' my grandma's knee (well Bella's grandma's knee- but you get the point)!

Not only is your momma going to be proud, girlfriend, we are ALL PROUD of you!!!!

You go Miss Thing

Lynda said...

That's such an honor! You are really a wonderful writer - glad I found you!

Lynda said...

That's such an honor! You are really a wonderful writer - glad I found you!

Scott your weird cousin from Texas said...

And what exactly is wrong with Sci-fi sections at the local Barnes & Nobles???? Hmm? I suppose you'd also have a thing against a little known somebody named Tolkein? What gives?

Amy said...

How AWESOME is that!!!??!! You are a hilarious chic that makes my day, everyday! Congratulations!! (by the way-I send ALL my friends here to read you if they need a good laugh)!

Mommy Cracked said...

Dude...Brentwood Benson is HUGE!!! We carry their stuff in the Christian bookstore I work in. Amazing!! I'm thrilled for you!

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

Writing your way through the pearly gates, you are! Congratulations :)

Anna said...

Congrats! And thanks for dropping by deepsoil today :-)

We're building our house in hendersonville, so northeast of Nashville. We're really excited about it! It's almost done... almost... the last part of waiting is always the hardest! :-P

Kendrawolf said...

Ha! That is SO COOL!!!

Sunshine said...

That. Is. Awesome.

Congrats to you! What can't you do, girl?

Katie Says said...

You make me laugh everyday. I even re-read your posts and there I go laughing again. :) thanks much!

AND Congrats to you!! that is wonderful news!

Karen said...

Congratulations, that is really awesome!!!

You know of course, when you're really famous, 'Entertainment Tonight' or one of those other tabloid thingys, is going to find that photo of you in the mask..:-)