May 20, 2010

Oh the Money We Would Save.

I wish you understood money, Remi Hope. Then you would understand how much more of it we would have if we didn't have you.

We would be able to eat out alllllll the time. Wherever we wanted. Whenever we wanted. And we would eat things like prime rib and filet mignon and not things like chicken nuggets and sweet potato fries.

Of course we would sit in boring restaurants with stuffy people who would never color on their menus or split sushi with their momma. And the room would be dimly lit and have soft music playing, instead of being neon and loud with a teenager dressed up as a Mouse running around. And you wouldn't be there laughing hysterically or going to the bathroom every twelve minutes. So what fun would that be?

We would also go on vacations. Long, relaxing vacations. Where there were palm trees and hammocks and a young man named Armand who would continue to refill our drinks without us having to ask.

Of course we would never experience a car ride with a three year old, listen to Snow White fifty three times in a row and listen to you beg us to stop at every Cracker Barrel you see just so you can eat gravy. And we would never have to spray Spf 50 on little backs and necks or watch you stare in amazement at the beach. And though we wouldn't have to pack like we were joining the circus on a 50 city tour - we also wouldn't watch you play in the sand with your brother like he was your very best friend. So what fun would that be?

Sure we might live in a bigger house, or drive a nicer car.

But then we would never know the joys of being able to hear you whisper to your brother each night, "I love you, brudder" or each morning, "Get up! They can't hear us!" And who wants to drive a luxury car when you could drive a four door sedan with fries in the cushions and bloody napkins stuffed in car seats? Where's the fun in that?

And so today as I get ready to celebrate you turning four years old I think about all the ways my life might be different were you not in it. And it seems no fun at all. So someday when you read this I want you to know - you are a lot of fun.
You are also a lot of trouble...
a lot of anxiety...
and a lot of stress.
But a whole lot of fun.

Someone once told me that every age was their favorite. They couldn't decide which age they liked best. I wanted to ball up my fist and hit them in the nose because three? Yeah, I hated three. Hated it. Loathed it. Wouldn't have offered it up to my worst enemy.

But I love you. And that's what matters I suppose. That, and the fact that there aren't enough filet mignons, Volvo's or Armando's to fill up my heart the way you do. And though some days I would like to test that theory for sure, I know it isn't true.

I love you, Remi Hope. Happy Birthday. And may your fourth year on earth be lots more behaved than this last one. Mmmmmkay?


Anonymous said...

Precious!!!!!! Just wait til she is 16 you will be wishing for 3 again!

A Musing Mother said...

Look out, world.

Alison said...

Yep, three was awful. Hated it. HATED IT. Hated it so much that I have an only child.

Here's hoping that four is better. And it is, trust me.

Happy Birthday Remi!

Sissy said...

Okay, the above commenter is my buddy from high school, I'll have you know. Hi, Alison.

Anyway, love the photo, the perfect bow, the polka dot dress.....and...the scab on the knee. LOL. Perfect Remi.

Christi said...

Happy Birthday, Remi!

MBush said...

Happy Birthday, Remi Hope!!! Have a perfectly wonderful day!

Candice said...

Happy birthday sweet, rotten girl! I miss you :)

Tiffany Crawford said...

The scrape on her knee with her big bow in her hair is PERFECT. What a wonderful depiction of rambunctious little girls. You are a blessed mama.

Happy Birthday Remi. (and if I were your aunt I wouldn't let your mama say that you need to behave this year!)

Fruitful Vine Lady said...

Aw, Happy Birthday Remi. Adorable picture. Mischief and cuteness all rolled up together. My baby turned 4 on the same day yours did. She's the baby of 6. So, we just love each moment, even the 3 year old ones! They fly by way too fast!

Kaye said...

Oh my goodness! What a sweet post and what an ADORABLE picture! Happy birthday, Remi!

Kelle said...


I am a complete stranger to you, but I’m sure like many others, I feel like we’re best friends because of your awesomely wonderful and God-appointed blessing to this world – the Stretch Marks blog. I know, that’s weird.

I just caught up on your “Something bads going down at the ___” posts and couldn’t hold back, you just had to be reminded how funny you are. I’ve read your blog for almost a year now and have thoroughly enjoyed every single post.

You are truly a talented writer and have successfully made me cry with laughter more times than I can count, and occasionally because my heart was wrenching in empathy.

So, I naturally feel the urge to give you encouragement in the midst of raising two little ones (I have a 4 year old and 18-month old, I get it) selfishly to keep your writing train going, but also because you are able to keep your humor while seeking God’s will during the chaos and inundation of little people.

Do you do book tours? No, I’m not kidding. Did I read somewhere that you’ve written a book? I’d love to buy one. Do you do speaking engagements? In Florida?

At the risk of sounding stalker-ish, us native Floridians (ok, so I’m just speaking for myself) find your humor use-my-shirt-to-wipe-my-nose-because-I’m-laughing-so-hard-and-I-don’t-want-to-leave-the-computer funny, and would enjoy meeting you if there ever was a chance.

And if all this creeps you out, I apologize.

You’re still hilarious,