Anyone Want to Grab Coffee With Me and Talk About This?

I sat with someone yesterday who talked to me about "what God was doing" in their life. As I sat and listened I prayed quietly that they would not - under any circumstances - ask me "what God was doing" in my life.

Because He's doing a whole bunch of ...well, nothing.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't God's fault. So please don't confuse His immovability with my laziness. Please. Don't blame Him for something that is clearly not His fault. If memory serves me correctly then I think I remember hearing once or twice or 40 million times that God moves when we ask Him too. He doesn't force Himself on us or "assume" any place in our lives without invitation. Therefore if God isn't doing anything in my life right now it might be because I haven't granted Him access to.

(And herein lies the part of the post where I beat myself up.)

Which is really quite amazing considering all I need Him for. Not inviting God to come in and be a part of all I have going on is kind of like having a Mary Kay party and not inviting the consultant. Its kind of like having a birthday party and forgetting to invite the birthday girl. Or like throwing a baby shower when there is clearly no baby. In other words, its all in vain.

Though if I really think about it I'm sure I can do just fine without Him.

I certainly don't need Him for my marriage. Oh no. Marriage is super easy. Who needs help with their marriage? There's nothing more fun than bringing two people together without any acknowledgment of a need for a Saviour. Oh yeah...that's a piece of cake.

Or my kids? What kids? I don't need help with my kids. I got that totally under control. Parenting is a cinch and I've got it allllllllll figured out. Which brings me to the next thing I don't need God for....

Who said I have anger issues? Who said I need to learn to demonstrate patience when I can so clearly demonstrate intolerance for any and all things? Patience and a life of peace or being a raving lunatic? Who wouldn't pick being a raving lunatic at all times. Much. Much. More fun.

And this weight has certainly not gotten the best of me. Oh no, I have it licked. Just like that chocolate dipped ice cream I got yesterday afternoon. The last thing I need is someone kind, caring, compassionate on my side. I prefer to do this weight loss thing alone. Not with someone who (literally) wrote the book on self-control and discipline. Thanks, but no thanks.

(And herein lies the part of the post where I cry. Really cry. Hard.)

Sometimes I suppose its not sitting with someone and sharing "what God is doing" in our lives as much as it is sitting with someone and saying, "Look, He's in it. And that's all I know. He's in here. Taking control over the things I have made havoc of. Bringing life back into the things I left dormant. Breathing breath into the things I killed. I don't know that He's calling me to the mission field right now as much as I know He's at least calling me. And right now, it's just nice to hear Him say my name."

(And herein lies the part of the post where I turn my computer off. And we talk.)