Mar 11, 2010

Before I Pack to Go.

Saturday morning my family and I will put our belongings in the back of our car and head out to the beach. You may read this sentence and feel a twinge of jealousy. I assure you, don't.

For some just the word "beach" can send them into shivers of relaxation and tranquility. But these must be people who travel to the beach alone. Without children. Or their mothers. Whereas I....I am taking both.

And so here are a few things (in no particular order) that need to be done before go.

1. Lose weight.

This won't be happening. I would like for it to happen, but at this late in the game I would have to go to Walgreens and by that Hollywood 48 Hour diet in a bottle and, well, I've tried it before and let's just say there are not near enough public restrooms at the beach to hold this ol' girl when she has flushed her system with the same thing Nicole Richi uses. Honestly.

2. Buy a new bathing suit.

Again, not gonna happen. But this is all the AG's fault. When I asked him if I could order a new one his exact words were, "If you had to peel that one off of yourself last year then you can peel it off of yourself this year." Why doesn't he just admit there's something sexy about watching a woman spill out of her swimsuit? Probably because there isn't.

3. Train my children not to get up at the CRACK OF DAWN.

Tried. Never ever gonna work. Never.

4. Get pedicure.

This will be accomplished this afternoon. Which is good, because I've already listed four things and three of them are impossible to accomplish, so I'm starting to feel kind of like a loser. So I guess what I'm saying is, on a list of things that need to be done before I go to the beach, the only thing that can actually happen is something I pay the Vietnamese to help me with. Figures!

5. Try to convince my mom that a relaxing week at the beach is not the time to convince me to have laser hair removal, that putting "a corn pad on it" does not heal everything and that I do not, under any circumstances, have my uncle James' chin.

Tried. Never ever gonna work. Never.


Deb said...

have a fun trip....still jealous of the beach thing...

Anonymous said...

Have a great trip!!!! I remember going to the beach with you guys and had a blast. Of course that was before kids and when we looked good in our bathing suits!
Love ya! Randi

Karen Carter said...

The BEACH is always fun! And remember when you see the skinny toned bodies they are probably shallow and not very fun at all! You dont have your uncles chin you are darling! I however have my dads calves and they are enormous. But whatchya gonna do. Have fun and remember Remi and Rocco will never remember how you looked but how much fun you had!

Rhonda said...

Uh, yeah. Beaches and little kids aren't fun. Neither is all that sand that will get into all the spilling out parts. Ugh.

But hey, we here at Blogspot are nothing if not supportive, so GO HAVE FUN GIRL!!! lol