Jan 15, 2010

What I Did May Be Deemed "Sacriligious."

I broke my fast.

I didn't mean to. But I did.

And I broke it big. And I broke it good.

But now I'm back on it.

So there is something to be said for going off of
1)Sugar
2)Salt and
3) Sodas.
And that something is......uh, HARD!

Years ago sodas would not have even been an issue for me. I like to say I was "drinking water before drinking water was cool." But The AG likes to say that drinking water has been cool since the time of cavemen so I'm probably overestimating myself. But suddenly, within the last two years sodas have become a real nightmare for me. Dr. Pepper, mainly. It is my drug of choice. And I choose to take this drug any time I eat Mexican food, and, well, I think you're starting to see the problem.

Salt is another frenemy. I love it. It hates me. I over salt everything. I salt things before I even taste them. And then, yes, I will admit it, are you ready....hang on for this one.....you will gasp.....I individually salt my chips before I dip them in the salsa. There! I said it! Happy? I know it's horrible, but I've been a salt addict my whole life. Someone once told me that if you would begin to leave salt off of your food you would begin to really taste things again, that salt numbs the taste; that suddenly your world would come alive with flavor and you would begin to taste things, really really taste them. This person also told me "exercise is something you should do for yourself, because you deserve it." I turned around, walked away and haven't seen her in years.

And then, there are sweets. Sugar. White demon sugar. My arch enemy in the battle of the bulge. No, it's not chips or dips, its not sweet candy or gummy worms. My arch enemy comes in the form of things that are chocolate, creamy and hot. (i.e. brownies, cookies, cake, anything on a menu that uses the word "molten lava" - you get the point.)

And so today, I went to lunch with some women in my family and I knew, I just knew, that fasting was going to be hard. So I asked the Lord if it was okay if I took a break and I could have sworn He said "Yes, enjoy!" But last night He told me that what He actually said was "Geez, hasn't it only been four days?" (Frankly I wouldn't mind if He would over-pronunciate. I'm just sayin'.)

And so I went to the Tea Room with the ladies in my family. And sure enough, right between my Granny reminding me not to go grocery shopping at night while leaving my kids with The AG because "they need a mother AND a father," and my mom starting a conversation with, "I made soup for ____ the other day, took it to her and remembered 'I can't stand her!'" the waitress came up and asked if we wanted a piece of the old fashioned chocolate cake. That's what she called it - the old fashioned chocolate cake. And right then and there I made peace with the Lord, and said "One, please."

And so today I'm starting over. Please help me. Tell me some tips, some strategies, some exercises for walking in will power and discipline. And don't say "Tip #1 Melissa, stay out of the Tea Room." God's already told me that one and made me promise to obey. I told Him to let me pray about it and I'd get back with Him. It's a wonder He still talks to me at all.

19 comments:

neeki said...

Yes, it would be nice if God would over-pronunciate a little more often!! Or maybe he just needs to start using a shovel over our heads!

mommaof4wife2r said...

no tea room...and stay away from the sippy sips at the fountains too!

Anna See said...

i don't have any tips but i am on day 4 of no diet pepsi, so i feel your pain. today is a new day!

Deb said...

it just proves you are human...you learned from your mistake...you move on....just stay away from people that aren't fasting....well easier said than done....

Sayrah said...

I had to fast for 30 hrs and didnt make it. I was a leader for that event and snuck in a closet and ate a butterfinger and drank a dr.pepper... I still feel horrible..
so.. I have no tips for you

Candice said...

No Dr. Pepper, Mexican or chocolate?! Those are my 3 favorite things!!! I'll be praying for ya :)

Sissy said...

I haven't really fasted as an adult, but I remember our family fasting when I was a kid. Of course, you still have to eat, you'll get sick if you don't, so think "Fuel, not food." Don't think of what sounds good, or what you are craving, think do you need to get you through until tomorrow. Eat plainly. Make a sandwich instead of frying chicken. Skip any seconds. Drink a big glass of water before you eat, to help you feel more full. Skip the drive thrus, although that is really hard.

Hope ths helps. Keep us posted.

Heather said...

Hi, my name is Heather, and I'm a Dr Pepper addict. I'd love to help you with some tips, but the only advice I have for you is to move up North or go to Africa. There's nothing like going to Africa for 8 days and having to settle for Coke, when you could get it. But then, you get back to the States and are dying for the sweet/burning goodness of a Dr Pepper, but you can't get any. B/c you landed in DC, and God love them, they don't know the goodness of the Dr Pepper! Sigh.
Aren't you glad you asked for tips?? :0 That's all I've got for you. Now, please excuse me, while I run to the frig for another Pepper. When you've had to go more than 8 days without, you tend to OVER indulge for the next 2 weeks! Maybe you shouldn't follow my advice. ;)

Beth said...

I'm working on a detox (day 5 of 21). Somethings I do to keep myself on track.

+ Your goal for the day should be to drink half your body weight in water each day.

+ Clean any tempting food out of the house. Don't just push it to the back of the closet REMOVE it from the house.

+ Have crunchy food around to munch on. Veggies, nuts and ice chips work for me.

+ Plan your meals out. This is super hard for me. I'm single and I rarely think about what I'll have for dinner so I munch my way through it. I do much better if I have a planned menu for the day.

+ Realize I'm not perfect. I've fallen short on it each day but as soon as I do I stopped my eating and started over with a big glass of water.

+ Put verses or words of encouragement in the place your snack foods. So if you open the cupboard to 'check and see what is in there' you'll be reminded why you are doing this.

Best of luck.
Beth

Tiffany Crawford said...

I finished a 21 day fast in November. I ate only fruits, veggies and nuts, and drank only water. I too am an addict. Coke/Dr. Pepper and I have to have something sweet after EVERY meal..even breakfast! By day 4 I compromised and told God I neeeeddded bread. That I HAD to have bread or I was going to die...that BREAD would be the difference in my success or failure of this fast.

And I did. I ate bread on Wednesday. And that bread turned into guilt, which turned into conviction. And that bread (or chocolate cake) became one way for God to show me soooo many things about my self, and my spirit.

It showed me that I was a person very willing to compromise my faith in God for my own selfish desires. OUCH.

It showed me how I make life really all about ME! OUCH.

It showed me that I'm in constant negotiation with God, over almost everything in my life. And that is the reason that I feel like I'm always failing. OUCH.

From then on I decided that God was more important than a piece of bread. And that if he believed in me, then I could hold on to the truth that Man does not live by bread alone. And that I could die physically but spiritual death would be more devastating.

So I grabbed hold of the Bible (and even slept with it some nights) and drank LOTS of water. And walked around the house wailing, "i'm soooooo hungry" "I'm sooooo hungry" to which my 12 year old daughter would rush and grab a banana and shove it down my throat just to shut me up.

I listened to LOTS of worship music. I prayed constantly.

But I also never set foot near the kitchen without purpose, and I planned everything I put in my mouth. I thought about it before I got out of bed, because if I didn't I was sure to fail.

I didn't realize how mindlessly I ate until I fasted. I didn't realize how much I needed Jesus in every part of my life, even in my eating and exercising.

During my fast, after the initial 5 days, I never felt physically better. I slept better, had more energy.

And God taught me so much, and truly showed me things about myself I never realized. I'm ALMOST looking forward to the next one...almost.

Bonnie said...

ok...well...I was going to suggest you read Lysa TerKeurst because she started down the same road last year and has done some amazing things through it. http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/

She's even convicted me a bit although I'm like you. I hear God wrong a LOT. Anyhow. Then, I read Tiffany Crawford there and now I'M thinking 'ouch.'

Maybe you've started a movement of some sort. Preferably not the kind that has us all running for a toilet but...you know what I mean.

I need help, I think. I read this stuff and in my head I think "pathetic loser" (because I can't skip Hershey Kisses for even a day right now...it's a sickness. I know it) and I KNOW better than that. I know I was made for more than this so... I need to keep trying and maybe. Just maybe. I need to do better at asking God for help 'cause I sure as heck can't do it on my own.

Totally feeling for you, sister. Look at that! I made your post all about me. Man...I'm terrible!

Lea and her Mustangs said...

Have no tips. You have to just gut it out. I always fail when the headache from no caffine in Diet Coke hits me. I think God's grace is larger than chocolate cake or Dr. Pepper or anything else you eat. He knows us inside and out. Yes, he wants you to succeed but will not bash you over the head if you don't

Mama Bear said...

I think if I did a sugar fast (because my sugar addiction comes so close to the same form as yours---chocolate & ice cream---don't care about the gummy worms or Jolly Ranchers), I would lose the weight that I need to lose! I really have to pray every single day for God to help me with my eating habits. Most days I don't pray...I just eat. I really need to be consistent with it, because I KNOW He will help! I'm so glad for His loving grace! And I'm glad my salvation doesn't depend on my eating habits!

oldwomaninashoe said...

I don't fast. Unless God, in his flowing white robe, white hair, kind eyes, sounding a tad like Trace Adkins tells me I need to fast, I'm not doing it. I fasted for something the doctor called a colonscopy a few years ago, which was nothing but his playing "I'm the Roto Rooter Man" on a part of my body that no should ever have access to. I came out from under whatever miracle drug they gave me to make me sleep through it & informed my husband I wanted biscuits and gravy and a large Mt. Dew and I wanted it right then.
So I'm not one to give you tips.

Rhonda said...

Okay, so just a quick note for Heather - I live up north, and we have doctor pepper here! lol And slurpees. And chocolate.

I too am starting my new lifestyle plan. HAHAHAHAHA. We still have about eight boxes of chocolates and cookies that patients gave us for Christmas, all I have to do is reach out... sigh.

Baby steps. I got a Wii and will spend my evenings doing the hula and bird flap to stay away from night time indulgence, which is my problem.

And for morning and afternoon indulgences I try to grab a low fat cheese stick for protein, maybe a cup-a-soup, which is only one weight watchers point, and counts as water/fluid intake.

And remember, sugar only makes your cravings worse. Both physically and emotionally!

And after being so darned good all day long, I have a date tonight for greasy chips and beer with a girlfriend. Something always comes up, doesn't it, so send you spinning off the good track?

Good luck to you, Melissa, and don't beat yourself up over small indulgences. You need those to stay sane. Any fitness professional will say the same thing. Move onward and when you need to "sweeten yourself up" do it with a low fat pudding or a 1/2 cup of ice cream (now you're REALLY laughing, aren't you?) and pat yourself on the back for your amazing strength!

Cathy Miller said...

Girl, I could have written your post! I'm also addicted to some of the same things you are, specifically sugar and salt. I salt my chips too..but I also salt the salsa, just to bring out the flavors, you understand. I've also gone cold turkey on sugar and sodas...this is day 6, so far, so good. But salt...now that's another matter entirely! Still working on that one. Good luck and stay strong! You can do this!

Debbie said...

A tip I learned long ago: Say to yourself, "Yes, Self, you can have that...tomorrow." And tomorrow say the same thing. Somehow, it works.

Aja Jenise said...

(((HUGS))) Today is a new day...

Lindsey Stelly said...

HOLY COW! Tiffany Crawford is my HERO! Can I tell ya, my parents are doing the Daniel Fast with a buncha churches here in Baton Rouge. AND NOW when we go over to their house, no more green beans & bacon!! WHAT?!?!
Seriously, Tiffany's my hero! I'm thinking I need to get on the ball - or the treadmill....