Jan 18, 2010

Out of The Fridge And Into the Fire.

I was going to post something today about my husband. But I've gotten sidetracked. (He should thank his lucky stars.)

The AG and I went out of town this weekend so I didn't get a chance to read my comments you all left on Friday. So Sunday morning I pulled them up to read all of them. (Let it be known that I do read them. Every one. Every day.) And I came across hers.

Now I'm not big on condemnation.
For there is therefore now no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus...Romans 1:8

But I'm all for a good challenge. And boy, did she give me one. I don't know that she even meant to, really. She is reader here on my blog and has commented before, as I have her. So I imagine she simply sat down and wrote a comment from her heart with little thought to how it might effect someone. And I am so glad she did. In regards to fasting, here is what she wrote...

I finished a 21 day fast in November. I ate only fruits, veggies and nuts, and drank only water. I too am an addict. Coke/Dr. Pepper and I have to have something sweet after EVERY meal..even breakfast! By day 4 I compromised and told God I neeeeddded bread. That I HAD to have bread or I was going to die...that BREAD would be the difference in my success or failure of this fast.

And I did. I ate bread on Wednesday. And that bread turned into guilt, which turned into conviction. And that bread (or chocolate cake) became one way for God to show me soooo many things about my self, and my spirit.

It showed me that I was a person very willing to compromise my faith in God for my own selfish desires. OUCH.

It showed me how I make life really all about ME! OUCH.

It showed me that I'm in constant negotiation with God, over almost everything in my life. And that is the reason that I feel like I'm always failing. OUCH.

From then on I decided that God was more important than a piece of bread. And that if he believed in me, then I could hold on to the truth that Man does not live by bread alone. And that I could die physically but spiritual death would be more devastating.

So I grabbed hold of the Bible (and even slept with it some nights) and drank LOTS of water. And walked around the house wailing, "I'm soooooo hungry" "I'm sooooo hungry" to which my 12 year old daughter would rush and grab a banana and shove it down my throat just to shut me up.

I listened to LOTS of worship music. I prayed constantly.

But I also never set foot near the kitchen without purpose, and I planned everything I put in my mouth. I thought about it before I got out of bed, because if I didn't I was sure to fail.
I didn't realize how mindlessly I ate until I fasted. I didn't realize how much I needed Jesus in every part of my life, even in my eating and exercising.

During my fast, after the initial 5 days, I never felt physically better. I slept better, had more energy.

And God taught me so much, and truly showed me things about myself I never realized. I'm ALMOST looking forward to the next one...almost.

And so, may I be so bold, as to thank her. And also The Holy Spirit. Who comes alongside us to guide us and help us when goodness knows we cannot help ourselves.
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. John 14:26

It was the Holy Spirit (and her words) who did, in fact, bring to my remembrance the fact that I am endeavoring to do something right now that CANNOT, under any circumstances, be done on my own. And I am not talking about the fast. I am working on something that I need the Lords help on. And how much clearer would I hear Him speak, how much closer would I feel Him near, how much more guidance would I feel Him giving to me, if I were to take "me" out of the equation completely. Deny myself? In order to find Him? I've heard of people doing such things but I always assumed that it was just in the movies. Or for people who wore shiny red capes.

But I need the Lord right now. All His wisdom and provision. All His council and commands. I need them worse than I need chocolate or Dr. Pepper or even salt. And I need salt badly, I am not even lying.

But if I must travel into the unknown in order to come back changed, then travel I will.

Now Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wild. For forty wilderness days and nights he was tested by the Devil. He ate nothing during those days, and when the time was up he was hungry. (Luke 4:1,2)

And if I have to deny myself and wage war on the enemy. Then where do I sign?

"Since you're God's Son, command this stone to turn into a loaf of bread." Jesus answered by quoting Deuteronomy: "It takes more than bread to really live." (Luke 4:3,4)

Oh,sheesh. Did He really just say that? Cause I was pretty sure the bread at Outback was one sure way to live - really live.

That completed the testing. The Devil retreated temporarily, lying in wait for another opportunity. Jesus returned to Galilee powerful in the Spirit. News that he was back spread through the countryside. He taught in their meeting places to every one's acclaim and pleasure. (Luke 4:13-15)

And if forgoing what I want for what I need means that I end up refreshed, recharged, refocused and renewed. Then count me in.

So, my lovelies, as sure as I am standing here typing these words I want you to know - that from now until my church's fast is done I will be abstaining from my three besties: Sweets, Soda and Salt. And for those of you who look at me and say, "Seriously? Sweets, Soda and Salt? I once fasted food altogether. She ain't got nothin' on me." To that I say..."Hey precious, you gotta start somewhere. So pray for me, would you? This won't be easy for me. Oh, and one more thing. I am taking your words kindly now - but find me on day 15. I might not be so Christian."

And now I'm closing my computer to have a moment with the Lord. Where I recommit my desire to find Him ever-closer in the wilderness, ever-nearer in the future and ever-present when I need His help.

Amen.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Jenny said...

"Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." John 7:35

Mel, I pray that you fill up on Jesus during this time and His Word be so "full" on you that you don't even crave your besties. :)

Sissy said...

I know you can do it!

Big Nanny said...

Or you could just get on a plane and go to Africa...I had no trouble resisting the food there;)

Ashley said...

I am doing the Bible Study by Pricilla "One in a Million" week one touches on this. I would get it!! Praying for you!

Tiffany Crawford said...

:)

And dying to do One In A Million-I heard it's fantastic!!

Anonymous said...

Easily I agree but I think the collection should secure more info then it has.