Jan 7, 2010

Name Calling.

Today, as I was getting Remi ready for dance I wept.

Okay, I didn't really weep - that just sounded dramatic so I said it. Really I laughed. Wait, I didn't laugh either, that was a lie.

Actually I got frustrated. Yep, that's it. That's the truth: I got frustrated. Frustrated because she wouldn't stand still, she wouldn't stand up, she wouldn't sit down and she wouldn't turn around. I got frustrated when she wiggled and when she giggled. And I got frustrated when she asked for help and I got frustrated when she didn't.

And amidst it all - amidst the socks she took on and off and on and off again and the shoes she didn't want to wear because "Look! They have play dough on them" and the leotard she just haaaaaad to wear even though it was 30 degrees outside and the bow I put in her hair that was then smashed by the hat she wanted to wear - amidst it all I called her something I had never called her before. Normally I say...
"Come here Rem,"
"Remihope" (like it's one word),
or "love."

Those are my names for her. Bless her heart she sometimes even answers to Bubba. (Don't know, don't ask.)

But this time I called her "little woman." I didn't mean to actually, it just slipped out. But as the words came out of my mouth I realized how much sense they made. How she is growing and changing. How she is laughing at things she used to not understand. How she brushes her own teeth and knows what she likes and does not like done with her hair.

"Little" symbolizes the fact that if you turn your back for one second she will hit her brother over the head with her plastic golf clubs.

"Woman" symbolizes the fact that she will grab my hand and say "let's paint our nails, mama."

"Little" symbolizes her need for me.

"Woman" symbolizes the fact that it won't always be that way.

Yesterday I had a very rough day. A really rough one. I chalk it up to new places, new faces, still getting adjusted and all; God chalks it up to excuses. And so last night, as I crawled into bed I wondered what God thought of me yesterday. When He was trying to get me to hold still, stop moving, stop complaining, stop whining, stop screaming...what did He call me?

Did He call me "Melissa?"
Or "child?"

Did He call me "Woman?"
Or "brat?"

Did He refer to me as "Little?"
Or "immature?"

Did He call me "selfish?"

Did He call me "love?"

As I looked into Remi's eyes, for the 1/8th of a second that she was being still, I called her "Little Woman" - because what she is now is not what she will always be.

And I hope that's how God sees me.
Juvenile - but with great potential.
Immature - but ever changing.
Stubborn - but striving.

Maybe I'm over thinking it. Maybe He isn't thinking any of those things. Maybe He simply wants me to stand still so He can tie my shoes, in hopes that one day I'll learn to tie them myself...and quit tripping over my own tongue laces.

I guess there's a lesson in that as well.


Rose said...

Hey Sweet Friend! I needed to hear that. I am so relating to that because yesterday I blew it more than once. (Like 15 times) I hope that I can grow from what I did or didn't do yesterday and be more mature, wise, and discerning with my tongue and actions. Thank you for the beautiful and creative way you remind me that God doesn't give up on us even when we have a bad day. Here's hoping today will be a better one! Love you!

Vickie said...

Oh man, you really hit me where it hurts this morning. I've been moaning and groaning and twisting and turning and sticking my bottom lip out. Smack me with a wet noodle! Great post girl!

Jenny said...

Beautiful post. Thank you.

Gail said...

Vickie sent me and your post is marvelous! Humor and Truth, kneaded together like a wonderful load of bread.

I shall return.

natalie said...

This is beautiful. Thank you

Debbie said...

Vickie sent me. I'm glad she did. As the mother of two girls, I've been there. But the perspective you put on it was thought provoking. Learning from our small everyday experiences can be some of the best lessons in life. I learn most of mine gardening or on my front porch. I'm having a harder time on lock-down for the winter, but it's the same. God bless you for being a mommy who sees more that the temporal.


Diana said...

God does love us so!!!!

Your little ones are blessed to have you as their mommy!

As we continue to learn from Him..............


RiverBend Farm said...

Yep, I'm another one of those Vickie followers that arrived at your blog and, girl, that was a great post! It doesn't matter how young or old our "little women" are or even if we have little men or just a few critters to care for, we all need to sit back and remember that it is our Heavenly Father that guides us with His gentle hands.
Berte in Texas

Joyce said...

this was a wonderful post!

Karen said...

He always has a lesson, doesn't He. Thanks for sharing yours.

Katherine said...

Love this, little woman!

Debbie said...

That was lovely. And just think - you stopped to think about it and then had a revelation. God just does such amazing things to help us understand Him.

Renee @ AddMoreChocolate said...

Hi Melissa,
So I started writing these blog posts on New Year's day, and got the bright idea to write 31 of them. Then my friend Suzanne told some friends about them. Next thing I know this nice lady named Vickie commented and told me to come over here and read this. And since I do know about following directions, here I am! I haven't worked my way through every one of your posts, but anyone who likes Dolly Parton and has their party guests spelling out words with their, um...assets, is ok in my book!
Nice to meet you girlfriend :-)
Renee in Texas

Tara said...

Another one of Vickie's followers stopping in for a quick visit. So glad I did! Such wisdom! My two are both grown. Don't know when that happened. Turned around and they were adults! YIKES!
Life is short, make the most of it!

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

Love this post.. thanks for always keeping it real through the funny moments and moments of true self reflection. I hope God is seeing my potential, ever changing, and striving to be a better woman of God.

Love! Your! BLOG!!

Vee said...

Vickie sent me...she was right, it's a wonderful post.

Vee said...

Vickie sent me...she was right, it's a wonderful post.

MolleenCarie said...

Great post, pretty blog!

You were linked in my news feed on Facebook. Glad I clicked. :)