Dancing With The Former Congressional Majority Leader

Seriously?

Not that I care that much. I have never been a big fan of Dancing With The Stars (let the stoning begin....now!) and I have certainly never been a big fan of Tom Delay. But I am a fan of reality television - and I'll be darned if I let some producer ruin what I believe to be the greatest thing to come to television since The Real Housewives of New Jersey...oh wait, that's reality...okay, since The Bachelorette....crud....okay, since...I got nothing.

So my suggestion? If you are going to start down that slippery slope of putting politicians in reality t.v. then let's go all out, shall we?

The Bachelor: Starring none other than Bill Clinton. ("He's married," you say. "Really?" I say.)

The Bachelorette: Starring Janet Reno. Because nothing says funny like watching Janet Reno sip champagne in a hot tub.

Survivor: Dear CBS producers, please put Hillary Clinton, Newt Gingrich, Howard Dean, Allan Spektor and Jesse Jackson on a island together. Give them no food, no water and tell them they must kill to survive. My money's on the woman!

And last, but certainly, not least...

America's Next Top Model: The winner? John Edwards. Because even Tyra in her best heels can't walk a slippery slope as good as that slickster. (Oh, and who has hair that pretty?)

So there you have it. Politics come to reality television...

I had a clever closing line, but I fear I have to run now. My mom would like to point out a woman at the pool who has legs that look just like mine "if you were to lose some of that fluid and didn't have so many spider veins."

Well, that's helpful.