Jul 20, 2009

Hello, Luuuhhhhhvvveerrrr.

This weekend The AG and I went on a date. It was very romantic. I will share all of the intimate details with you now. Hold on, it's gonna get wild.


5PM: Sitter arrives. Sitter's name is Meridith. She is free. We like free.

5:30 PM: We are on our way into town. We pull off at Goodwill to drop off a few items. Feel good about unloading a plastic plant and some VHS movies to some unsuspecting soul.

5:39PM: Pull into Starbucks. The AG orders a Tall Triple Shot White Chocolate Mocha and I order a Tall Double Shot Espresso Truffle. We feel the caffeine might help us stay awake. (I repeat, it is 5:39PM.)

6:00PM: Yeah! Costco! We love Costco! We buy some fruit. We buy some cheese. And then The AG gets really romantic and buys me a new blender. It even has an attachment for a food processor. How sweet is he? We decide it might be time to look into some AARP benefits.

7:15PM: We check out of Costco and decide we are famished. We are eating sooooooo late...what is wrong with us? How are we ever going to get to sleep if we continue eating this late? Just kidding. Actually we pull into our favorite sushi resteraunt and find a table outside. We split three rolls. We decide we are too full to finish them. One of us actually said, "It was probably that coffee that filled us up; coffee just don't do so good for me anymore." I can't tell you who said it........but it wasn't me.

8:30PM: We pull out of the restaurant and are clueless as to what we should do next.

8:32PM: I suggest Barnes and Noble.

8:32PM: He wants to know why I always prefer Barnes and Noble to Borders. He prefers Borders because (and I quote) "it's brighter in there and I can read the small print better."

8:33PM: I tell him I prefer Barnes and Noble because of their bathrooms and I tend to spend a healthy majority of time in the bathroom in almost every gathering place I go to.

8:34PM: As we make our way to Barnes and Noble he says, "Or we could go to Super Wal-Mart..."

8:35PM: I get very excited at the prospect of going to Super Wal-Mart and say "yes! yes!" And he begins to sing the song 'All Night Long' by Lionel Richie.

8:40PM: We park in the lawn and garden section of Wal-Mart because it is not as far to walk inside.

8:55PM: He makes a bee-line to the antacid section because, "that spicy tuna is lightin' me up." What a sweet talker.

9:15PM: We find a special on baby wipes. We get excited.

9:30PM: We decide to do some major grocery shopping because we don't have kids with us. It makes us think of our kids. We miss them, so we throw some pizza rolls in for them. We begin to physically pat ourselves on the back for being suck freakin' good parents. Then I ask him to pass me a Rolaid.

9:45PM: We stand in the check-out line both reading different magazines. The cashier is very chatty, which means I walk away and make him talk to her. She never takes a breath. He asks me why I walked away and I remind him that I don't really like people that much.

10PM: We are on our way home when we impulsively decide to pull through Steak & Shake for an orange freeze. Impulsivess never tasted so good! I break rank by ordering a malt instead of an orange freeze; he looks at me like I have just tried crystal meth for the first time...he is shocked and stunned and saddened. I feel bad for my recklessness.

10:30PM: We arrive home and ask our babysitter if she wants to spend the night since it is so late to drive home. She reminds us that it is only 10:30 at night. This blows our mind as we are thinking we can barely make it through a Frasier before we fall sound asleep.

10:52PM: "Good night AG." "Good night."

10:58PM: "Good Lord I got heartburn!!"


oldwomaninashoe said...

Sounds like a wild time!! I went on a date with my husband this weekend. His employer bought 50 tickets for a minor league baseball game and was passing them out. Now it might not sound like much of a date but we didn't take the kids, they weren't invited, adults only, all the free burgers, hot dogs, chicken, brats,pulled pork & rib tips & fixins you could eat. Although my sitter was free. She's one of our older girls and she isn't about to watch the terrorists for free. Only had 5 text messages and one phone call from our darling 7 yr. old who told me to put my phone down, she wanted to listen to the game with me. lol

B said...

Thanks for the laugh!

A Touch of Country said...

what a date night...chuckle chuckle....sounds like us in the parental world. Thanks for the laughs!

Robin @ My Blessed Nest said...

Too funny! My hubby and I have had many dates like that one...don't know what to do or where to go, then just wish we were at home watching T.V. in the bed!! And he keeps the Maalox in the car AND the bedside table...just in case!!

Thanks for brightening my day! Blessings!

Melissa said...

Okay, don't be jealous, but my kids are with Grandma and Pipa all week this week. I'm like...totally freaking out. Seriously. I don't know what to do......Eric and I are so poor we can't go out anywhere.....I guess we'll just make coffee at home and roll our own sushi....or I'll just make tacos. Mexican food solves most problems.

kimberly said...

this is too funny....my kids just spend a week with my brother, and my hubby and I layed around the house all weekend playing games on the computer and watching movies...accomplished nothing, but, I guess we did have a good time just hanging out with each other....but your date....i have so been there!

Nichole said...

hahahahaha! you are freakin hilarious

Hairline Fracture said...

Hahaha! I thought my husband and I were bad on our date nights--we always go to a bookstore--but we haven't yet gone to Costco or Super Wal-Mart. Although I will admit shopping without children is a luxury.

Amy said...

You two are wild and stinkin' crazy...just like us!

Time is such a relative thing, isn't it? Without kids the night is young, and with them, I turn into a pumpkin at 7:00! whatsupwithat!?!

Anna See said...

Love this post! I can relate. I'm hoping my husband and I can have a car shopping date soon. I guess it's better than a colonoscopy.

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

I am rolling on the floor with laughter because this is SO my life! In fact, we once had a homestudy written for our second adoption that had in print," Jaime and Lisa like to have a weekly date out to dinner and to WalMart." You can imagine how thrilled we were to see this in writing :)

We had a social worker visit today for a new homestudy to become foster parents, and we were joking about that old homestudy and the WalMart comment, so we told her that now our dates are to dinner and Lowe's instead. lol. Hope she updates that thing.

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

ps: my new post is linked to you . . .

Janis said...

Of course I can totally relate too! Next time you're at Wal-Mart make sure to get some of those non-stick things for the bathtub floor because I wouldn't want one of you guys to break a hip or something!

Carrie said...

tee hee - dating changes once you have kids, doesn't it??? :)

Tabi said...

I did't think anybody dated like the Big Daddy and I do but apparently they do! Lol...you know what I was worried about the whole time reading your post?? Did your cheese and fruit get to warm in the car during all this time?? What did you do with it? Hehehe...wow...I'm lame!

Wep said...

OMG I read this TWICE it was so funny. Sounds just like us. And we have no kids. And have only been married 4 years.


Jennifer Henry said...

Oh, my... I love how you make me laugh!! I especially love that I don't feel as hormonal because you too, don't like people too much. The other day I was at burger king and after I paid the man he said (hanging out of the drive through window)... "sooooooo... what do you think about Steve McNair?" Seriously??! What made him ask me that? What does he expect me to say "it's wonderful!" Ok... I'm rambling now but just wanted to thanks for the smiles tonight. I needed them. :)

Jeanette said...

You, my dear, are a hoot. I wandered in as I was surfing randomly and laughed my butt off. Not a small feat. Thanks so much! I'll be back!

Givinya De Elba said...

How romantic! Reminds me of US.

Mr de Elba and I are going out together tonight for a date before our baby comes tomorrow. It can't get truly wild though, on doctor's orders, with this placenta previa. Sigh.

We'll just sit over our meals shaking our heads at the fact that tomorrow they will cut this baby outta me, instead of me heaving it out (ahem) The Other Way. We are still in shock, I think.

I loved: "I tell him I prefer Barnes and Noble because of their bathrooms and I tend to spend a healthy majority of time in the bathroom in almost every gathering place I go to."

Tonya said...

We have a date tonight, and it might get just about as wild as yours. Amazing how fun it is to shop without the kids, and how hard it is to stay up late.

Shonya said...

Oh man, thanks for the laughs! Seventeen years of marriage here, and our dates look the same! :)

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Wait til you're my age. We're on a date right now. The Mister is at Wal-Mart, and I'm here. Now that's love.

I'm adding you to my 'must read' list.

Thanks for the laughs!