The Bachelorette: TLBTC

This week I watched The Bachelorette under enviable circumstances.

Well, some circumstances were enviable; I was plopped on the couch between two of my girlfriends, miles away from screaming children and poopy diapers.

Some were not so enviable; one of our husbands (who shall remain nameless per his high profile job and fancy sneakers) was there and felt it necessary to comment on the fact that all the men on the Bachelor were less than par, there was a good chance they were all in love with each other, and Jillian talked like a valley girl and he found it ingratiating.

Eventually we told him to leave the room or he would have to clean the kitchen.

You've never seen a white man move so fast.

Speaking of white men...

Nice segue, Mel. Why yes, it was.

Tonight's episode of The Bachelorette (which shall heretofore be referred to as The Little Bachelor That Couldn't or TLBTC) certainly did not disappoint. (If you saw this episode then you know there's a horrible joke in there somewhere but I dare not print it for I would like to graduate from that Christian University I pay 4 million dollars to.)

Anywhoo...tonight Jillian made the mistake to end all mistakes. She let Reid go.

Dear Jillian,

When a man tells you that you really aren't his type (he's only previously dated blonds) and he picks on you endlessly, it means he's got spunk. Take it from me - keep him. When he looks at you because he can't take his eyes off of you. Keep him. When he stumbles over his words and tells you that he's scared, but hold his arms up and says "I like you this much"...keep him. He genuine. He's real. But now, he's gone.

Shockingly, she kept Kipton.

This, I cannot explain. Kipton has nothing going for him from what I can tell. And when a man actually looks more attractive wearing a helmet than he does not wearing a helmet, that really says something about his ears. But I think the biggest thing we learned about Kipton came from the point in tonight's episode when she asked him to tell her his biggest fault...........and he couldn't come up with one!

Dear Jillian,

When you ask a man his biggest fault and he can't come up with one - THAT is his biggest fault! Take it from married women all over the world, you will deal with endless tirades of how they were "right" about the check being tossed out with the trash, they were "right" about how long your mother would stay when she said she was "only here for three days" and they were "right" about your friend Derrick from Junior college who did eventually marry a man in interior design. If you know you are committing to a lifetime of them being right all the time, then why in the world would you keep a man who is already claiming to be right??? This should be the time in the relationship when he tells you his biggest faults are he cries at chick movies and he cares too much! Sheesh.

And then there's Ed. Dear, sweet, came from some nerdy stock, Ed.

Ed ran into a few roadblocks this week. None of them can I discuss on this here forum though Ed is the reason that we are now referring to this show as TLBTC.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

(By the by, this was the point in the evening when said husband yells at the television, "You're a 29 year old MMAAAANNNN! Did you know that when I was a 29 man, I..." - but we forced him from the room as we refused to listen to the last part of that statement.)

Dear Jillian,

When a man wears short-shorts, let him go. That'll be all.

So my lovelies, what are your thoughts? I know you all - and if you're one thing, it's not shy. So fess up! You watched it. What did you think?

Oh, and one last note: Once I was in a hotel room with The AG, he was 29. We were tired, we were exhausted, we were sunburned. And yet, amazingly, none of that mattered.

Good night.