Jun 30, 2009

The Bachelorette: Esta Telenovela Roca!

Five bucks to the first person who can translate that.

Okay, too easy.

However, fifty bucks to the first person who can translate what the heck Jillian is thinking by choosing Wes; the man that Meridith and I watched in utter disdain this week until Mer finally blurted out, "I don't want to be too dramatic, but I wish someone would just go ahead and shoot me in the face."

Nah, not too dramatic at all.

Kudos to my friend Kasey (who lives in Texas and is one of several reasons that state is looking better and better to me...I'm coming for ya, Kase!) who texted me halfway through the show the reminder that watching The Bachelorette must be akin to watching Mexican soap operas, all the drama, the tears, the running towards men and jumping into their arms, drinking wine in hot tubs, etc., etc.

I mean, seriously folks, between the love I have for The Bachelorette and the love I have for guacamole - it's a wonder I haven't switched nationalities.

So, on with the show...

This week two big things happened.

#1. We found out that not only is Wes a loser, but he is also a loser who has apparently killed all the men in his family and buried them in the backyard so that he can be surrounded by only women who fawn over him and believe his low-down, scum-sucking, rotten, twisted lies.


And now you know why I watch. Because last night, at my food poisonous weakest, as I was curled up on the couch just wishing that someone would put either me or Jillian out of our misery, there was a knock on the door - and it was Ed.

And suddenly everything was right with my world. (With, you know, the exception of the vomiting and diarrhea.)

Did I not tell you all last week that this season was just getting good? When when when are you all gonna start listening to me? (I would just like to say that I also made a prediction that bangs were making a comeback - and they did. And that body waves were making a comeback - and I still stand beside that.)

So stick with me, my lovelies, I can lead you to the highest heights with both your hair and your reality television choices.

And that right there is enough for us to be lifelong friends.


votemom said...

so sorry you are feeling so badly.

so happy ed came back ;o)

Amy said...

I literally yelled at the TV when she picked Wes. YUCK! He makes my skin crawl AND I just gotta say, he aint that talented either! No more than the other 20,000 country singers. I have to wonder: If the network is really hoping she finds love then WHY don't they show her the footage of him "telling all"?! She is SO blind! I LOVE Ed and when I saw him last night I couldn't WAIT to read your post!

Kim said...

Ed's back!!!!! I'm in love!

And why do none of the men (except Tanner & the guy last night whose his name escapes me) have the balls to tell Gillian the truth about Wes? At least whisper in her ear as they are saying goodbye to be careful of Wes. You'd think that since she has heard from two of the men that something wasn't up with Wes that she would listen.

And what was up with no men at Wes's family dinner? I think you are right. He's killed them all & buried them. And you are right again (like we had any doubts) that Wes is not very talented. I can't stand the dude!!! He's a LOSER!!

Why do all the good guys finish last? Because too many woman are stupid!!!! They like the bad boy, but then whine when he cheats on them or doesn't give them the love they need. If Gillian picks Wes in the end, I have no sympathy for her. She deserves what she gets.

Rhonda said...

As usual, a great review! I'm glad I don't watch the show. It would prove to be so disappointing after your posts, I'm sure!

Desha said...

Oh stop it! You know you were DYING to hear that song again..."They say love it don't come eaaaasaaaaayy." My ears are still bleeding...

Anonymous said...

I couldn't comment this morning because I hadn't seen last night's episode and needed to watch it at abc.com. Ohmy...Jillian is gullible to swallow all of that from Wes. I just want to wring his neck. I mean, seriously, to introduce her to his band first? Wow, he has priorities. And yeah, to have both his mom and stepmom at dinner, but no dad...strange. And can he do something different with his hair, please. Yuck.

Love Ed. Love him, love him, love him for missing her and coming back.

XOXO, Sissy