A Letter from the Attorney General

It's not often you get a memo from the Attorney General, so I would listen up if I were you. But then again Melissa says I'm full of myself, so.

I just wanted to let her scores of readers know that she will not be appearing this week on the Stretch Marks Blog. This is due to the fact that while I was out of town last week she uploaded a virus on her computer. I would like to say, for the record, that the computer she currently has was once mine. Never. Ever. In the five years that I had that computer did I download one virus. She, however, has it in her possession for a week and a half and she can barely turn it on.

When it comes to technology I promise you there is no one like her in the entire world. She should not even be allowed to walk within two miles of a Radio Shack. She is that lethal.

So, until I can get home from my business trip and try to figure out what in the world she has done I have asked her not to post for the rest of the week. Actually, I asked her not to even open her computer for the rest of the week but as you can imagine, she does whatever she wants; so she opened it up today and ordered a bathing suit because (as she put it) "I had to or I would have to wear that old thing from last year and there are like 43 people who have already seen it."

Then she used our Visa card on a computer that has a virus. Which means somewhere in Romania someone is charging papanasi to my credit card and claiming to be me.

So until next week you will have to do without Melissa's words. Which, I have to tell you, can sometimes be a welcome thing.

I love my little virus,

The A.G.