May 27, 2009

A Letter from the Attorney General

It's not often you get a memo from the Attorney General, so I would listen up if I were you. But then again Melissa says I'm full of myself, so.


I just wanted to let her scores of readers know that she will not be appearing this week on the Stretch Marks Blog. This is due to the fact that while I was out of town last week she uploaded a virus on her computer. I would like to say, for the record, that the computer she currently has was once mine. Never. Ever. In the five years that I had that computer did I download one virus. She, however, has it in her possession for a week and a half and she can barely turn it on.


When it comes to technology I promise you there is no one like her in the entire world. She should not even be allowed to walk within two miles of a Radio Shack. She is that lethal.


So, until I can get home from my business trip and try to figure out what in the world she has done I have asked her not to post for the rest of the week. Actually, I asked her not to even open her computer for the rest of the week but as you can imagine, she does whatever she wants; so she opened it up today and ordered a bathing suit because (as she put it) "I had to or I would have to wear that old thing from last year and there are like 43 people who have already seen it."


Then she used our Visa card on a computer that has a virus. Which means somewhere in Romania someone is charging papanasi to my credit card and claiming to be me.


So until next week you will have to do without Melissa's words. Which, I have to tell you, can sometimes be a welcome thing.


I love my little virus,

The A.G.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

tell melissa to go to the library. i simply cannot wait for her new post. she makes me giggle and laugh and chuckle. run, melissa, run to the library.

jamie

Lisa said...

Oh my goodness!

You're just as funny as Melissa!

So sorry about the virus, and I'll keep my fingers crossed about your Visa number.

Lisa

Ashley said...

Bathing suits are important, A.G.!!!

Thanks for the update!!

Rhonda said...

Melissa, I think I now adore him just as much as you do!! lol

Melissa said...

She will be missed....

Faith(ful) Reader said...

I'm going to have to take to my bed until this situation has passed...I will just lie there in a darkened room and wait.

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

Well, A.G., how 'bout if she dictates her posts to you via telephone and you post them for her? {Seeing as how you seem to be such a quick study on how to post.} :) Because we just don't think we can do without for a few more days. That just won't work.

Soliloquy said...

One word for you AG:

Mac.

(Be glad I only promised one word 'cause I could have gone on and on and on about a hand-me-down pc.)

((Oops.))

Sissy said...

The AG speaks! And now I will request that you start your own blog cuz damn if you aren't hysterical!

Melinda said...

You are too funny ... what a good husband you are. I am technologically challenged, too, so I feel Melissa's pain.

We will miss her, but I'm relieved to know she's still able to order swimsuits.

Melinda
www.parentingconfessions.com

Todd Wright said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again...somebody start the AG a blog STAT.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Just blog hopping tonight and enjoyed reading your blog...I am posting on our Disney trip so hope you will stop by. Also, the June giveaway starts today...all comments left in June will be in the drawing for the "June Card Box"! You will have to go down a few posts to read about the monthly giveaway.

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

OK. Enough is enough. Untie Melissa and let her get back to blogging!