Couple Things.

1. Oh. My. Word. LOST.

2. Oh. My. Word. Danny.

3. Oh. My Word. Kris.

4. Lord. Help. Us. All. Adam.

5. Today I was running in place in the pool - that is, in the pool, people - and pulled my calf muscle. I feel sure this is a direct indication of my lack of inactivity. However, it could be a direct indication of how fast I can run in place in the pool.

6. Also, today as I was putting on my swimsuit I overheard Remi tell my mom, "Mama went in the bathroom to put on her suitcase." This seems highly appropriate for the swimsuit that I was sporting yesterday for it covered almost every square inch of my body, can hold immense amounts of junk, and is made of different types of steel.

7. Am I the only person in America who read this weeks PEOPLE magazine with Kirsti Alley on the front, saw that she commented on her "fat uniform" - which is a maxi dress she bought in three different colors from Target - and thought to themselves, "Dang, I got to go get me one of those dresses?"

8. Last night I cut my aunt's hair. I mean it CUT IT. Cut it alllll off. It was obvious the woman needed a new 'do, and I felt like I came in town just in time. (You all know my inability to stay quiet when there is bad hair in the room.) So I offered my services. She accepted - maybe out of her sick curiosity or maybe out of the fact that I drugged her with Benadryl and Vodka - but no matter, she said "yes." So I took her medium length hair and cut it into an inverted bob, bi-level cut. Minutes before I grabbed the scissors and took her to the bathroom she caught me on the computer Googling "how do you cut an inverted bob." But thanks to www.wikihow.com we made it happen! Rock on!

9. Repeat this 100 times: "Tonight is the 30 Rock finale. I will watch it. And next week I will vote for Kris. Tonight is the 30 Rock finale. I will watch it. And next week I will vote for Kris."