Apr 1, 2009

Bloggity Blogger, You Better Be Glad I Had Great Hair.

I know you must all think that since I mentioned last week that I would be commenting on your comments that I went and fell off the face of the earth as opposed to doing all that extra work.

And you would be right.

Actually, here's how it went down. On Monday afternoon, approximately 2 PM, I decided I ought to pull up my comments and see how the bizznasty went down. (That's "street" for "business," Granny.) And it was at that exact moment that I remembered that I had, in fact, not posted anything. At all.

I had honestly forgotten to blog.

How is that possible? For the love of Pete, blogging is essentially talking about yourself and considering I could do that for 16 hours before I need to even take a breath you would think I wouldn't forget to do it.

But this what happens when your exhausted. And I'm suffering folks, from absolute exhaustion. If I get one more call that says, "Hello, we are a realty company in Kalamazoo, TN and we would like to show your home in 28 minutes. Would that be possible," I think I am going to have a nervous breakdown. Do you know how hard it is to get two kids ready AND put a bra on in 28 minutes? I've not been raised to move that fast.

Then, after forgetting to blog altogether, Blogger was really mean and would not cooperate with me at on Tuesday. I couldn't log in, I couldn't edit, I couldn't delete, I couldn't do all those fancy things that techie people do like hit control+alt+delete all at the same time. It was a disaster. I used a few choice words (not that choice) and decided that if even Blogger was shutting me down it was a pretty good sign that you all were sick of hearing my words ringing in your heads as well.

But the day began to pick up when Tuesday night rolled around. Ohhhhhhh.....I was looking good and feeling the part, if I do say so myself.

You see, back at Valentines my dear sweet Attorney General asked me what I wanted and all I could really tell him I desired were these bad boys right here:

And lo and behold if I wasn't sportin' 'em last night while out with the girls. Hot diggity I looked 5 inches taller! I wore my bumpits with pride, you better believe it. On the way into town to meet my girls for dinner and a movie I called the AG to tell him how lovely I was looking...

"Honey, guess what?"


"I am rockin' me some big hair tonight. Big, big hair. And I think you know how I like my big hair."

"Have you got your bumpits in?"

"Yep, I got a big bump in the front and an even bigger bump in the back."

"Right, but what about in your hair?"

It was then that I hung up.

I'll be back tomorrow, my lovelies. I promise. Maybe. If Blogger will let me. And I'm not too tired. And my hair does good. And the temperature is between 67 and 68 degrees with a slight northerly wind.


Dear Lacey,

I received your package on Monday. I don't even know what to say. That you would think so much of me, but also of my babies. All I can say is "thank you, thank you, thank you." You truly made my day.

I hope that the fact that you are gifted in the area of crafts and sewing doesn't eventually come between us. I find girls like you quite intimidating. But I assure you I will give it my best shot. Just promise if your skin breaks out or you begin putting on weight that you let me know. It will at least make me feel as if we're evening things out.

You are so talented, Lacey. And I hope everyone visits your Etsy shop and sees what all you can do. So put up more pics! Thought don't post any of the paci clip and hair bow for my kids...I want them to stand out!

Glad you're in love sweet friend,



Miss Onnie Judd! Girl, I need you to email me. ASAP. Please.

And yes, I am using this blog as my own little post office. That's allowed. Isn't it? Please don't turn me in to Blogger; they are already on my case.


mssy said...

You crack me up! Now we need a whole post dedicated to the bumpit with full on instructions. I'm googling it now because as a fellow Texas Big Hair lover I need to know!

Lynda said...

We need some bumpit photos!

Melissa said...

You are truly the love of my life. Bump its? How did you know I have been dreaming about these bad girls since I first saw the infomercial?
Did you see Jenna Fischer on Ellen? Ellen gave her a bump it set.
So, here's the question I have? Are they easy to hide? That's my biggest concern. I don't want a bump it sticking out. That's like toilet paper sticking to the bottom of your shoe. My hair just doesn't tease well. I neeeeed these. This is definitely me soliciting a reply. I was afraid you were mad at me for my poo-flinging dork butt response to you the other day. Told you I'm high maintenance:)

Theda said...

Girl I have missed you!!! I think having a bumpit hanging out would be like tissue hanging out of the front of your shirt. If you are gonna rock those - you better be all practiced up in the installation!! I'd love to see photos.
Oh - and I am actually a real estate agent, but not one of thooooose who request the showing on such short notice! Although, I'd love to be the one to sell your house - I'm all the way up in Spraangfield, so, not likely. OH - and I really don't want you to leave TN anyway. You know, cause we hang out all the time and all. (Actually, it's easier to stalk you from a shorter distance - I'm just sayin...)

Ashley said...

Haha! You and your bumps (hair bumps that is)!! ;)

Aja Jenise said...

Yeah... and I thought there was no hope for big hair again... yeah for bumps!!

You make my day ALL Right again!!

PS We are selling our house as well... So get this... hubby cut down a tree in the front yard and left all the pieces, then sided a shed in the backyard and left all the scraps, then replaced the toilets and left the old ones in the back room that is off the kitchen... nothing like dirty old toilets in your kitchen. And to boot... I have to go to the laundrymat to do the laundry with three kids... oh so someone is coming to show the house at 1130 tomorrow. So where does our home studies fit in for our two girls... oh crap, and I havent showered in days!

So give me a bump, and send me on my way... big hair always makes a girl stand a bit taller... and ands a certain swing to her step!! Here's to house showings!!

Melissa Lee said...


Mssy - You know, I am thinking of doing a whole post dedicated to Bumpits. They are THAT worth it. I think it would be funny to video blog me and Meridith doing a demonstration. Whaddayathink?

Lynda - I wish you could have seen some from last night. Loud and proud, girlfriend, loud and proud.

Melissa - You are sooooo high maintenance. (ha) Girl, I love them! But to be honest, only for a night out. I wouldn't wear them every day. Sometimes they make me itch. Course, that could be a personal problem. I saw the infomercial and had to have them. Especially if you need a little oomph. Which you do. ;-)

Theda - I have to admit. My realtor ROCKS!! She is a true blessing and she's working her experienced and proffesional tale off for us. However, if you would sell my house I'd let you stalk me for free.

Ashley - Okay, you look all skinny and beautiful in your picture, so no making fun of my bumps. Got it?;-)

Aja - You had better hope my husband does not read these comments today. Becuase if he does I will surely hear "Well, at least you don't have it as bad as Aja." And then I will have to hunt you down (at the laundrymat) and kill you. Seriouly, you are in my prayers. As I had better be in yours. lol.


Susie from Bienvenue said...

So that's why you have never commented me... Im artsy craftsy...hehe. Please dont hold that against me. I promise to never talk about it, smile~ I do love your blog and know that when I leave from here I always have a smile on my face. thank you~

Faith(ful) Reader said...

Do Bumpits come in ash blonde? I must order some, if so--wearing a Poise pad on my head to give me da big hair is getting tiresome, plus I always have to worry about an unexpected rain shower giving my big hair secret away.

Lace said...

Oh Melissa! I'm so glad you got them :) I think the world of you and your sweet family & only hope I can be as blessed as you in the family dept one day! I know it was an interesting road getting there... but girl, you strutted your stuff(I like to imagine with a bumpit in your hair)all the way down it.

& btw, my jeans have recently become tight on my booty... karma? I had to stop eating fried chicken. Do you know how that makes me feel? NOT. GOOD.

Amy said...

I, too, would like to see more real-life before and after shots with the bumpit. Are these really appropriate for playgroup and the grocery store? I do live in the south. . . Concerned that I'd feel a little self-conscious in it, like when I wore my fake ponytail to church and worried the whole time that the people sitting behind me were laughing about my fake hair.

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