Feb 20, 2009

Good Will Shopping.

Okay, this post started out as a personal plea for your help. It has since turned in to something different.

I was cleaning out our closet yesterday per the request of our Real Estate Agent who uttered on more than once occasion "floor space, floor space, they like to see floor space." And let's be honest, any one who comes to take a look at our house and peers into our closet will immediately lose both their interest and their lunch. And let's hope they've got good aim because when you open the door you have to stand there and just throw whatever it is you have in your hand and hope you hit the mark. Oftentimes I miss. Sooooo not the point.

Anyway, as I was cleaning out the closet I came across three things that have throughout these years become a thorn in my cellulite.

Here they are...

Here are three pairs of shoes that my husband refuses to part with.

In the far left corner we have a pair of 1982 Nike's. They are ugly. They are old. And they smell. But apparently the man had the winning free throw in them, won the All-state track and field competition or did his first break dance routine while wearing them, I'm not sure which. He won't tell me why I can't throw them out - he just tells me I can't. So when I look at them and how hideous they are I just close my eyes and imagine him doing something wonderful and life affirming in them. Otherwise I cry.

Then in the 1 o'clock position we have another pair of tennis shoes, Reebok this time. And as Meridith said (our local sports enthusiast she is), "Reebok still exists?" Why yes, Meridith, they do. But they only exist in this color and design in the costume department of "That 70's Show" or on the set of "Napoleon Dynamite." Not in my closet! Of course Brandon says they would be ultra cool if they came with those little pump-ups like they had in the 80's. Here's hoping!

And then lastly we have the pair of sandals that legendary actor Brian Deacon wore in the 1979 movie, "Jesus." Or maybe we bought them at Target 12 years ago I can't remember which. But the point is he NEVER wears them and yet will not let me get rid of them. Why? Meridith thinks it's because he is hoping beyond hope to get asked to play Barabus in the next Easter production.

After I told him that I would be posting something special about him and his little friends on my blog today he made Meridith go to my side of the closet and pull out two of his personal favorites.

But before you laugh

I would just like to say this:

1. Every time I ever wore these I twisted my ankle almost to the point of no-return. That right there should have been my cosmic sign.

2. The Aqua blue pair can currently be purchased in your local Avon book, I do believe. So don't be jealous and don't rush the stage, my lovelies. You, too, can own a pair for close to $12.99. Beauty...delivered to your door.

3. Look closely at the tag on the gold pair. You can pick up a pair of these beauties at Ross for $14. I kid you not.

They're ugly, I know that, I'll admit it. Which is why they - and the AG's shoes (ssshh! he's out of town - don't tell him) - are currently at the bottom of a black trash bag heading to my local Good Will. Because if I can't use them there has to be some 6 year old longing to dress up like a drag queen. Or an apostle.


Faith(ful) Reader said...

I don't know how you can call the gold pair "ugly" but I guess, as with beauty, ugly is in the eye of the beholder. I'm going to Ross today, just to see if they have a pair in size 8--they'll be coming home wit' me!

Finding Normal said...

My husband is a piler and a hoader, and it drives me nuts. One of my favorite things to do? Make Goodwill bags when he's out of town. Because he will never miss the stuff.
Good luck with the sale.

natalie said...

I have a few pairs of shoes that I've had for at least 10 years that I cannot part with...even though I haven't worn them for 10 years. Hmmm. Might be time for some spring cleaning.

Kat said...

Oooh, you have the same problem I do- A hubby who doesn't know how to get rid of anything! (and of course, I am slightly afflicted, too, but let's just focus on him, shall we?)

After our honeymoon, when we started going through boxes, you would not believe what he was keeping! Newlyweds or not, we got into a "discussion" about his 1. Labyrinth, 2. Super Soaker 3. Baseball socks/hat/jock strap from HIGH SCHOOL and etc., etc.

I won the battle for the labyrinth and Super Soaker just as you are going to do while the AG's out of town. But let me just warn you about the backlash!!! (Even a plea that he was keeping joy from underprivileged children did not ease the wrath).

Anyhow... fast forward 5 years. The rest of his cra... I mean stuff has stayed in these boxes in the basement. Now that we are making room for a bundle of joy by moving the office to the room downstairs, he had to buckle down and get rid of the jock strap paraphernalia, model cars, etc.

Good luck!

Candice said...

The last two sentences are what keeps me coming back day after day! "there has to be some 6 year old longing to dress up like a drag queen. Or an apostle." Only you Melissa... only you!

Lori said...

I love this! It's like a support group and I wanna join.
Hi, I'm Lori and I am married to a hoarder. (I imagine you all saying, "Hi, Lori.")
When my husband and I married, he came with all kinds of little collectible sports figures. AND "collectible" boxes of Wheaties that were far beyond edible. They have moved so many times with us I have lost count!

Desha said...

I looked at the picture of the gold sandals and said "what is wrong with those? They are really cute!" I have a pair of Doc Martens i have had since I was 16. I am 28, still wear them, still get compliments=) Best $50 I have EVER spent!

Aja Jenise said...

Girl you are PURE ENTERTAINMENT!! I recently made a donate, trash, and sell pile when trying to purge and make room for my MOTHER in our home. Well it requires little to no effort to donate or trash things, so I will have to say I have made no money, much less the effort to seel things when trying to create floor space that otherwise doesn't exist. BUT... secretly, I have boughten a few Rubbermaid bins and stashed away SOME things that will be saved for future floor space... hee hee. The bins are in storage, so its not as if anyone will ever find proof of their existence. But I am sure I saved the pair of jeans from just before I met my hubby... you know just in case...

Good Luck... with the floor space...

Rhonda said...

Oh, you are sooo dead meat!!! But, giggle giggle, you go girl!!!

Amy said...

I've obviously missed something here! REAL ESTATE AGENT? Will need more details.
Love you!
~Amy Key

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Angela said...

LOL! I just cleaned out our closet and I SOOOOOOOooooooo sympathize. Hubby "rescued" several items from the Goodwill box and now I have to come up with a creative way to get them OUT of my house, LOL!