Weekend Recap: What's Wrong With Jermaine Dupree

If I told you my weekend was uneventful would you believe me? Because let me tell you - I would be lying. Boy, it was something. It was full of all the things that make up a major motion picture (insert recap of 2009 Academy Awards show here...subtle, huh?):


Drama...


Oh, the drama. This weekend was chock full of all the heavy weight emotional moments that you shell out $9.75 for. For instance, I almost cried Saturday morning when the AG let me sleep in while he took care of the kids. AND he woke me up with chocolate milk and took me to Cracker Barrel. Which now makes me think...he must have done something terrible that he hasn't fessed up too, yet. Oh, the drama.


Comedy...


My favorite moment of the weekend might have been sitting in the theatre on Saturday night with Ronnie, Leslie, the AG...and her.







Oh, my mercies. When she thought W.W.J.D. stood for "What's wrong with Jermaine Dupree" I almost lost it. I highly suggest you go see this little nugget. And I'll be honest, when it comes time for the high drama moments I get up and refill my popcorn, but the Madea parts?? Priceless.


Intrigue...


Sunday night was the Academy Awards and as usual I sat motionless for 12 hours and watched like an imbecile.


Every year I say I will not waste my life away like that - but every year I do it again.


And every year I watch the skinniest women in the world walk down a red carpet leaning on their date for fear the wind will blow them away since they've been starving themselves since the day of their nomination. And every year I check out their dresses and their jewels and promise myself "tomorrow is another day, I am going to get my rear in gear and I'm going to look like Halle Berry on her worst day." But every year...


So I think it's safe to say this really isn't intrigue as much as it just really, really sad.


This year to make myself feel better Meridith and I thought up horrible things to say to the television when we saw women that made us want to roll our eyes. Like Jessica Biel...


"Hey, Jessica! Lift up that huge napkin on the front of your dress and 20 bucks says there's a hug chili stain underneath it! See? You ain't no different than me!"









Suspense...


Then Beyonce performed in a red sequined number with high heels on.
As if we didn't already want to take our big, pasty white bodies outside and run them over.



How is this moment suspenseful you ask? Well, the suspense came when we wondered if Meridith would be able to finish off her bowl of Blue Bell ice cream while watching Beyonce...but lo and behold, she did it!

It really was touch and go there for a while.

But that Meridith. She's a lot of things - but she ain't no quitter. Congratulations to her for not only wanting to throw the bowl at the indestructible pair of thighs on the television but also for polishing it off. Way to go, Mer.

Comedy...

So that was my weekend. Uneventful? I think not. For pete's sake, I saw Slumdog Millionaire and Madea all in one weekend. So I don't know whether to laugh or cry. But I do feel sure that once I shower, take this hat off and put my contacts in I'll feel much better.