Talladega Nights: The Legend of Attorney General

You know what's funnier than the Attorney General going to a Nascar event?

Nothing.

HHHAAAA! HHHAAAAA! HHHAAAAA! HHHAAA!

Please don't get me or my post today, wrong.
I AM NOT making fun of Nascar fans.
I AM making fun of my husband.

The man is going to Talladega today and he has absolutely no business going. None. He says its because I yelled at him three weeks ago when we were shopping at Marshall's and he would not get out of my personal space and I said, "For the love of pete, would you back up out of my grill and get your self some friends to hang out with?"

I personally don't remember saying this. Yet, oddly, I can remember verbatim what I said.

But he said that at that very moment he was a changed man. He decided then and there he would, indeed, get himself some friends. Unfortunately, they love Nascar. Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing except Nascar ain't cheap and they keep dragging him to these dadgum things.

Oh, sure it was harmless at first. A little race here. A superspeedway there. But now we're talking Talladega - and that's a big deal. I think. I would assume. I mean, they made a movie out of it, so I'm assuming it's a pretty grand thing. And it was starring Will Ferrell - which right there means we're dealing with some upper echelon of acting. I hear they tried to get Ralph Fiennes to play the lead, but he wasn't sure he could act under such intense pressure.

I mean, what set director could actually bring this to life?

Or this? That's a Bocephus flag, my lovelies. You can't just find that anywhere.

I tell you this, I would give the use of my right arm to watch my sweet AG settle into a Talladega weekend. He'll be the only man in a 50 mile radius who presses his khakis before the race, wipes down the lawn chair before he sits on it, and pops a cork instead of a can.

His buddies have rented an RV. The closest my husband has ever been to an RV was the 2006 motion picture, RV, starring Robin Williams. The whole movie he was breaking out into a cold sweat and downing Dramamine like they were popcorn.


His buddies also told him they would be sleeping in said RV. This poses a problem since he is a card-carrying Marriott Platinum member. When I told him we didn't even have a sleeping bag he could take he actually said, "Sleeping bag? What is this "sleeping bag" you speak of?"

While they are all enthralled by the speed - he will be perplexed over the ability to get 180,000 people in a stadium and still find the electrical capabilities to re-enforce the additional modified components of amplified sound and still be...I don't know what I'm saying, I'm just trying to show that it's not a perfect fit.

But you know what? At least he's trying something different. And doggone it, I'm proud of him. I will take a long bath tonight once I get both kids put to bed and I won't have to lock the door for fear that he will walk into the bathroom in the middle of it and say, "You have to look at the video that J just sent me. It's on the Business of Marketing and it will really make you think." So see? No locking door. I will be trying something new as well.

AG, have a great time. Personally, I think you and Talladega go together like...