Dear Dad.

Hi Daddy!

Momma says you are out of town working. Is that really true? Because sometimes when I ask where you are momma says, "He's took a big airplane to go to work this morning..." but then other times when I ask she says, "...he's laid up in a 4 star hotel, ordering room service. For his job." But she says that party kinda funny...like when she calls me a "smarty pants."

So which is it? Are you working or are you acting fancy? I don't really like either of those things.

I prefer you come home and let me ride on your back. I think that is much more fun. Don't you?

Plus, when you are gone momma acts really funny. Like, this morning she went to her water aerobics class and said she felt good because she had worked out.

But then when we went to Food Lion the only thing she bought was Double Stuff Oreo's.

When it was time for my nap she was looking for me all over the house and she found me hiding in the pantry with the Cheetos. She said, "Remi! What did I say? I said NO MORE CHEETOS. We don't just eat chips whenever we want. They are a TREAT!"

But then when I woke up from my nap I came downstairs and she had fallen asleep on the couch with the bag on her chest.

She got on to me and told me "NO MORE MAX and RUBY! NO MORE T.V."

But then she watched three episodes of those old golden ladies, back to back.

Hey daddy, what'supwiththat?

I like it better when you're here. She cleans up the kitchen and washes my clothes. Today when we couldnt' find anything clean to wear she said, "It's okay baby, put it on. Who have we got to impress?"

But then cried when nothing in her closet fit her.

I think she's losing her mind. Don't you wanna come home now?

Probably not.

Oh, and then she got mad at me because I didn't want to play outside, because CLEARLY I have nothing to play with in my backyard.

But daddy, I was HOT! Really hot. And she should understand because when she opened the door to let me in she said, "Remi, get in here. It's so hot my hair is fallin'. My hair is fallin'." And daddy, I'm not so sure it was falling or she just had forgotten to wash it.

Would you please come home and check on her? She misses you real bad. I know this because tonight when we were saying our prayers she prayed for you. She said, "And God bless Daddy in Amarillo, in his big, fancy hotel room with all the room service and pay-per-view a man could want. God bless his stinkin' little heart."

See? She adores you.

And I do too dad. Come home soon.

Love,

Your Remster