Jul 16, 2008

Big Girls Don't Cry. Big Momma's Do.

When we brought Remi home from the hospital we didn't have anything in the realm of furniture. At. All.

It just seemed to happen so fast with her. We were called about adopting her. And then before you know it she was here. And then even quicker we were pulling out of the hospital giggling like kids and saying, "Do they know we're driving off with this baby? And we have noooo idea what we're doing?"

So when we brought her home we had to act - fast!

First priority. Get a bed.

Second priority. Take out a loan for bed.

Third priority. Figure out what to do since loan was denied.

Adoption ain't cheap. So if you're fortunate enough to adopt, then look, you might not be able to afford a bed and well, the kids' just gotta live with that. It's all about choices.

Thankfully, our friend Candie came through for us and GAVE US - FOR FREE - CUZ I LIKE ME SOME FREE - a bed that she had out in her garage. She washed it up real nice and pretty and before you knew it - it was as good as new.

Oh, there were a few quirks.

I mean, most beds raise and lower in four or five levels. Right? Not ours. It goes from the height of "look my baby is an infant and can only lay here and coo and I don't have to worry about them jumping out" to "look my child is now 12 and is pretty much laying on the ground but thankfully these bars are all around her head so at least she can't break free."

I'm not lying. When Remi was about 12 months old I would just have to lower her as much as I could into the bed and then let her fall the rest of the way. Because the bed was that low and my arms are that short. (I get it honest, my mom's arms are ridiculously short. Seriously, she looks just like Elton John. I kid you not.)

Until now.

Two nights ago Remi got a big-girl bed. Well, as "big girl" as it can be with Pooh and Tigger and Cookie and Elmo all laid up in it.

But big to her.

And too big to me.

It hurt my heart a little bit. I have to be honest.

To watch her pull the covers up over herself (just yesterday it was my job to keep her warm).

And to prop her head up on her new pillow (just yesterday it was my job to hold her head).

To walk out the door and hear her say, "Don't close the door mama...I scared," (just yesterday she couldn't say a word. Just yesterday she didn't know fear.)

But now that's changed. This morning she woke me up not by yelling from her crib, "maaaammaaaaa...where ahhhhh youuu???" But by walking in my room and touching me on the arm and saying, "Good mohning mama."

And tonight, as I tucked her in and said her prayers she looked up at me with eyes that I swear look like her daddies and said,
"Mama, don't close door? 'Kay?
"Okay, Remi."
"But mama, you get out now."
(Gulp) "Okay, Remi."

2 seconds later.

"Mama!!!"
"What Remi?"
"I need Pooh bear!!!!"

Oh, thank God. She's not grown yet.


47 comments:

Jenn said...

*Tears* It all happened WAY too fast!

Anonymous said...

The Remster is tooo cute.
I prayed for you just now...Keep praying for me, 'Kay?

Your Cuz,
Michelle

ugagirl30 said...

It makes me so sad, yet proud of my girls for growing up. And isn't mornin' lovin' the best? My girls give the best hugs ever in the morning. Each of them finds their way from their big girl beds and into Mama's arms for squeezer hugs. I love it. I cherish it. I must have it.

Vicki said...

I'm not sure I want my second one to ever graduate to a big girl bed. I fear what she'd do by herself in the house.

Heather W said...

Since I am new to your blog, I didn't know Remi was adopted. It's amazing because she looks like you. Kids grow-up so fast and before you know it they are asking to borrow your car. Well Lane (2 1/2 yrs. old) says "I drive" when we get into the car and I laugh. But secretly I am thinking to myself, "One day I will say okay and he will be able to drive". Crazy!!! Enjoy every moment.

Sidney said...

It does happen WAY too fast...I swear I just had my almost-17-yr old yesterday! I used to think that I couldn't bear the thought of my kids growing up and leaving the "nest", but, in my infinite wisdom (!), I've found that that's why God gives us teenagers ....

WheresMyAngels said...

She is too cute!! Way to go Big Girl!

Jaci said...

I love this post! It's very well written. Honey, I'm right there with you. The big E. is in her big girl bed, and I'm trying to make a quilt for it. (Okay...I bought the fabric to make the quilt and it's still sitting in the bag on the floor--whatever.) How awesome is it that you say prayers with her? I'm such a horrible, slacker mom. At the end of the day I'm so tired of Elizabeth that I tuck her in, say, "Don't you dare get up. It's time to go nighty-night. Now I'm serious!" then put the babygate up. I really need to work on this...

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Awwww - I'm lovin' the "now get out" LOL!!!! Kids SO rock!!!

Still praying for ya!

Heather said...

They just grow up WAY too fast. I sold my crib just this past spring and had to go inside and have a meltdown after the sweet, young couple loaded it into their truck. I know it's going to a good home, but all of my babies slept in that crib!! Good times. Hard to let go.

I've never been so excited to hear that someone threw up their breakfast. I think about you all the time and praise God for His faithfulness.

The File Family said...

Awww I know - so bittersweet. Aren't those little prayer times the most precious of all?

I also didn't know that Remi was adopted. I also didn't know that you had a son in heaven until your post about your PawPaw. Bless you honey :)

Mar said...

Big girl bed was one of the hardest adjustments for me too. Cribs = babies, big girl beds = big girls. Luckily I still have on in a crib. Maybe she can stay there until she's 12. LOL.

Thanks for sharing a great story, and so cute too!

Kelley said...

Bittersweet for sure. My oldest "baby" now stands head and shoulders OVER me. How can that be?

I prayed for you today.

Deanna said...

To have these precious moments of their childhood when we are their world and their source of comfort, yet to know that one day our job will be done and they will be grown. Life is all about changes....we're always going through a "phase"...we're always growing. She's precious, Melissa Lee. You and AG have done a wonderful job!

Robin said...

Oh, I remember that all too well. My girls slept good until the toddler bed, then they started getting up. Wait until she come in the middle of the night and touches your arm like that! I have scared mine by yelling b/c of that.

Melissa said...

They grow up and before you know it, you're letting them stay with grandma for a few weeks. My 7 year old is with my hubby's parents and I talked to him yesterday, and ask how it was going and he said, "I'm not homesick yet, mom." What do you think of that. Meanwhile, here I am at home feeling like I've lost a child. Our family is incomplete without Michael. Our time with them is so short.
She is such a beautiful display of God's favor!
You are officially on my prayer list and my church's.

Katie Says said...

that is so sweet.

Scott said...

I see that I'm going to have to introuce Remi to the most important Winnie the Pooh character: Eeyore. I mean Pooh and Tigger are ok. But there's just something about Eeyore.

Perksofbeingme said...

Oh, I do think that about broke my heart. She cannot grow up that quickly.

Deanna said...

Oh I shouldn't have visited your blog today. I was already weepy. Fortunately it is O.K. to be weepy over your child getting into a big girl bed. It is "not cool" to be weepy over your son going to middle school. It just doesn't get any easier the older they get. *Sob*!

Anonymous said...

Melissa:

What amazed me about today's blog and comments was that my son, Scott, misspelled "introduced". He could spell Eeyore, but left the "d" out of introduced. You know that's a RARE thing for him.

Congrats to Remi on her "big girl" bed. She looks so sweet lying there with all her "friends".

Still praying for you and the new little one. My church family is also praying for you.

Say hello to the AG and Remi.

Love you,

Sharon

P.S. Thanks for all your prayers for Michelle and Jimmy. I know that someday soon I'm gonna be Nana again.

Tabi said...

I just put my last "baby" in her big girl bed about a month ago and I agree, I believe it's harder on us mommies than it is them. I am still yelled at every morning, "Mommy, I out now" but she is laying by her floor in yelling out from under her door! So we talk under the crack of her door every morning! Sweet time! I am praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Has anyone told you lately how well you write and articulate such beautiful stories! This post could be published as a small children's book and could sell like hotcakes! I'm serious.

And....coming from someone you often refer to as the "stoic one" or the "non-cryer", I have to tell you.... the last post about PawPaw and Elisha made tears stream down my face. What a beautiful picture -still makes me smile from ear to ear!

From,
"you know who"

Strawberry Blonde said...

My baby girl is about to enter the second grade. Time has passed much quicker than I would have liked. However, my four year old son is sitting next to me crying about something or another, so I guess that my time with a "baby" is still in my grasps.

Remi looks like such a princess in her bed.
-- Brandi

Karen said...

She looks so cute in that bed... definitely an 'Awwwwww' moment.

They go from looking all big and 'growing up' looking in that little crib to all small and vulnerable looking in that big bed !!

Just wait till she starts school. I walked my last two, the twins, down to the school on their first day. Stephen walked into the class, all excited and didn't even look back and Christina told 'Okay, you can go now Mum'. The teacher told me that it was because I'd done such a good job of preparing them for school. but I still bawled my eyes out all the way home!!

Now, that her kids are all off to school, she finally tells me that she now knows how I must have felt. :-)

Lula! said...

Remi is a beautiful big girl, she's growing all too fast and she's already a Big Sister. I love it all...

BUT...
Here's the one thing no one else had mentioned, and leave it to me to be that one reader who's gonna call you out for it...

Nonnie does NOT look like Elton John. Do not ever malign her in this way again.

Jenni said...

Big girl beds are hard! My oldest is a FOURTH grader!! And when my littlest (who is four) got her big girl bed (earlier than I had planned because she kept climbing out of her crib--even broke her arm doing it) I was so sad. I redid her whole room at the time and found the cutest little dirty handprint on the wall by her crib and took a picture of it before I washed it of and painted over it. Watching it disappear made me a little sad.

Amy said...

I feel your pain!! Oh, wait..All of my children sleep with me..so...I kinda feel your pain. She looks too cute in her big girl bed!

Mrs. S said...

thank the good Lord I still have about a year until the big boy bed!!! But it makes me cry to think about it.

Deb said...

I find myself wanting to give both of you gigantic squishy hugs!

Amy said...

They go from Baby to Big girl and then on to Big Brat...I told someone the other day, "I wanted a baby, not these big sassy kids!" LOL! Enjoy her every sweet moment to the fullest, they fly by!

Sheri said...

Oh wow! I didn't realize your little one was adopted . . . I'm adopted, and I LOVE hearing stories about others!! Mom said that they had been trying, but then they got a call, "Ms ___, are you ready to be a mother? You need to pick her up by 5." See? Babies really DO come from the baby store!!!

KO said...

My five year old went on his first field trip today in summer school- to the beach! I literally fought back tears talking to the counselors, "Ok, now he knows to stay right with you guys? Ok, so the bus will drive slowly right? OK, so you will help put on more sunscreen...." When it became clear I just needed to leave or else cry in front of 25 five year olds, I called out to my son to say goodbye AGAIN, and he gave me a quick look, a quick wave and back he went to his friends and couselors......it does go so fast.

Merrie said...

Love love love it! How cute is she? I know it's not an easy transition, but it's exciting, too! Congrats to Remi on her big girl bed.

Rhonda said...

Oh, I can so relate. They look so proud in their big-girl-beds. They don't even notice mama's grief, do they?
No worries, though. One day, just around the corner, you'll have a mouthy 14 year old hormone and the time just won't go fast enough!

Deb said...

You have an award waiting to be picked up over on my blog - take your time getting there, the traffic is awful this time of day... :-)


PS. hope your still feeling nauseous, oops i meant well. hope your feeling well with the new stick figure thats been hanging around.

Trish said...

Yay for a big girl bed!!

And look at those 1000 acre woods homeboys hangin with the dudes from the Street and all tucked in there with little Miss Remi, who no matter how big she gets will always be your little girl.

One of my favorite books is "I'll Love You Forever" by Robert Muensch

I don't like to admit it much though because it has a very co-dependent mother, but I do sometimes wonder if I'll sneak across town someday just to peer into their windows while they sleep........

Now excuse me while I go look for a picture of your mamma to see if she really looks like Sir Elton John.

And by the way, your name came up in my shower conversation with God this morning, and there was no thinkin about the ugly AG this time!

StitchinByTheLake said...

Big girl beds, big girl bikes,
big girl makeup, big girl cars,
all these things may come but in our hearts they will always be our baby girls. Blessings, marlene

Z's Mom said...

They DO grow up too fast. Z just moved into his big boy bed last month. Although, like you, it was hard to put him in the baby bed. He kept waking up because I was short and kinda had to drop him in....now if I put him in his bed (he usually sleeps with me anyway) I can lean over just fine and gently place in bed...

Kendrawolf said...

Wow, you are doing great. Henry snuck back into my room to sleep on the floor until he was 8!!

Kimberly said...

I love your blog! It always makes me smile! What a cute little girl you have! I am so happy for you and your new little baby! God really is good...
Stop by my blog...I have a little something for you there!

Amy Jo said...

Bedtime is my fave...that is when we talk about the "stuff" that they find very important. I especially love those sweet conversations about God, their faith is so amazing! Enjoy every night of her voice and her sweet touch...It does fly by!

Praying for you!

Amy (Jo):)

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

Sweet, sweet, sweetness. What a little doll...

Rhea said...

That's a way too cute picture of Remi and her stuffed animals. Aww!

They do grow too fast, and I think it's much harder on us than them.

Thanks for sharing your growing pains!

Kristen Schiffman said...

I love your blog. Don't comment often but I do read every day! I've been away since the 1st and just saw your awesome news!!! CONGRATULATIONS. I'm praying for you hard, girlfriend.

Christ is able. He is able.

Erin said...

For some reason this brought tears to my eyes. It's hard to see them grow up. :( But I just think about y'all starting all over with another one soon.

Karol said...

I seriously got tears. We're going to put our youngest in his 'big boy' bed hopefully this week. They grow so fast.