Jun 26, 2008

We Interrupt This Visit With Mom to Bring You This...

Saturday I will have a paper due in my Persuasive Preaching class. My requirement was to write it on a current topic; my teacher gave us a list to choose from, we picked out our top choices and he would tell us which one we would be doing.
My choices went something like this:
1. Infertility
2. Self-esteem
In the email he wrote me back he told me to do Infertility, that self-esteem had been done to death. I wrote back that like it or not, self-esteem would be covered in my paper. Because to deal with infertility is to deal with self-esteem.

The two go hand in hand.

And so as I sit here tonight looking up facts and figures, statistics and terms...as I type in causes and effects and cures and treatments...I do so knowing that he wants to know these things. And I want an A.

But you see, I know the real story.

I know what facts and figures can't tell you and I plan on sharing all of that with him as well.

And so tonight, I lay here feeling blessed by God as my sweet disaster snores soundly beside me, smelling of powder and lavender and apple juice and holiness.

But it's these days I remember so well. Sometimes, too well. Sometimes I still feel them.

Once a month.
Every month.

So this is for Julie and Trina and Lexie and Kim. It's for Anna and Kady and Darla and Meg. It's for Michelle. And it's for me. And maybe it's for you.

You'll excuse us as we have a moment.


Trish said...

Love that video. Hate that video though too.

Love you though!
Maybe when you're done with the paper you'll post it here? I would love to hear/read more of your story.

Peace, blessings and healing as you write.

Anonymous said...


stephanie davis said...

you know as i watch this i praise God for those birth moms that are willing to give up the child they love so some of us can be a mommy! So to Kate's birth mom, Thank you for allowing my dream to be a mom come true!

stephanie davis said...

ps i am coming in this weekend, i owe you guys a photoshoot and gallery wrapped canvas any takers out there??????? anyone.... anyone.... let me know, i will be at church on sunday too!

Bella's mama said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bella's mama said...

It's for me!

Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful reminder.

Have a fabulous visit with your family,


bigjohnsgirl said...

That video made me cry. My husband and I struggled with trying to have a baby for almost 2 years. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant. But I understand the journey. Thank you for posting that video!!!

Bella's mama said...

PS~ I am so thankful now that fertility is part of my lifes story, because without it I would not be Isabella mother. It was a blessing more than a curse. And I praise God daily for it!!!!


Lula! said...

I refuse to watch this video again on the grounds that the first viewing left me such a blubbering mess that I ran around hugging, kissing, and basically smothering my girls all day long. To their dismay. I couldn't help it, though. But it did build their self-esteem, I'm quite certain.

Thank You, Jesus. Amen.

Rae said...

Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. It touches more people than you would probably imagine. Isn't it amazing how we often wonder why in the heck we're going through soemthing- only to look back later and be amazed by the doors it opened- either for us or for those we touch? God so often blows my mind.

Trace said...

Ashley recommended I stop by your blog and I'll take a few minutes to browse. I've seen the video you posted before and was glad I watched it at home instead of publicly bawling my eyes out. I bet the paper will be very cathartic.

Trish said...

thank you. this issue is all too real and too many people keep it bottled up inside and don't let anyone in! you feel alone and frustrated and confused. i'm glad that i chose to share my struggles with my friends, family and strangers. It opens doors only God could and has given me amazing friendships because of it!
I would love to hear more of your story too!
Hope you get an A++ if it reads anything like your blog you'll have no problem-o!

KimmyJ said...

God bless any and all who are trying to have, want to have, or need to have the miracle of children in your lives. I pray for you to get the desires of your heart each and every one of you.

Caroline said...

Wow. Powerful. I have walked beside my sister and her husband who have struggled almost 2 years to have a baby. They did become pregnant, only to lose the baby at 9 weeks. Heartbreaking. They will be trying again and are hopeful. I have also worked on the other side of the issue as the Executive Director of a Pregnancy Care Center - seeing young women not ready to be parents make a decision to end their child's life instead of making an adoption plan, or who decide to parent just because they feel like they "made their bed, now they have to lie in it."

Anonymous said...

This was so powerful! I, too, am on this infertility journey and this song says so much of what my heart feels but words I don't say... thanks for sharing!

Michelle Kitchen


I love you and I love Remi and I miss you both terribly. FOrgive me for being ignorant about country music but who is singing that. It was beautiful.

Bella's momma said...


I just now read your comment regarding the online journaling~

The journaling that I do is not with an online company or using any formal format. It is just me, my computer and a thought in my head. I make all of my books with I-photos. Each year I begin a new book, save it and add to it through out the year. Sometimes the words just pour out of me in one sitting, but for the most part it is a simple thought that I hurriedly type. Then when time permits I pretty it all up.

You were so right when you wrote “Bella will love those journals”, and so will Remi! So just start~ work with what you feel comfortable with, be it simple or elaborate. Because the real treasure be the words you write special, just for Remi.


Heather said...

Oh my stars. Oh my stars, oh my stars, oh my stars. Where are the tissues??

Staci said...

i am bawling, thank you for sharing that.....i wish i knew your story........you seem like an amazing strong woman!!!

Anonymous said...


Thanks for the mention. I pray each and every day that one day our time will come. It seems like everything is stacked against me sometimes but I have FAITH.

FAITH is the substance of hoped for...the evidence of things not seen.Heb 11:1


Anonymous said...

Sorry...Messed up the scripture.

FAITH is the substance of THINGS hoped for..the evidence of things not seen. Heb 11:1


wy-not said...

Oh wow! So many emotions in one fell swoop. Everybody should see this. We should all be grateful for beautiful children, whether we bear them, adopt them, teach them, laugh with them, cry with them - whatever. My adopted son is now 40, and we have been reunited for 14 years. He brought infinite joy to his adoptive family and continues to do that. They will always be his family. May God bring comfort to those who are trying to become pregnant, and bless them with dreams coming true (we're patient, Jesus, but sooner rather than later would be really nice).

dna said...

Great post. People cannot even begin to imagine the pain of infertility until you've walked this road. Even though I have three sweet blessings through adoption, we are still infertile. That wound will always be with us, but it is also a reminder of how God has blessed us beyond measure.

Thank you to the birthmoms that give us the opportunity to become mothers and fathers. They are an answer to prayer.

"God will not permit any troubles to come upon us, unless He has a specific plan by which great blessings can come out of the difficulty." Peter Marshall

Praying many blessings for your family,

Mommy said...

Thank you for sharing your heart. Very moving. I have never walked this road so I will not pretend to understand the impact. Hugs to you, M

Sarah B. said...

Wow...that video touches on sooo many different issues that it is just beautiful and in some way or another we as woman can all relate to an aspect of it. Thank you so so much for sharing your heart through your words. (And I don't know country music..who is that?)

Rhonda said...

Wow. Wow. Again, wow!

WheresMyAngels said...

I got to remember not to let my dh know about this song or video. Cause he would start playing it to see me blubber, he thinks it is too cute, i can cry at stuff like this. But it isn't cute at all:(

Breanne Vasquez said...

Thank you. That was great!! Needed it.

The File Family said...

What a moving video! Yep, brought me to tears. We have been there and done that with our 3rd oddly enough. Those feelings are too real even when you already have children and just long for one more. Thanks for sharing!

Jill said...

Thank you for coming by my blog. Your comment really meant a lot to me. I've seen this video before, and it brings tears to my eyes every time...... especially since I've seen it at a few different stages in my journey. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Also, on an unrelated topic..... I totally relate to the IBS crap (no pun intended)

Perksofbeingme said...

I'm reading through the back posts in your blog and I wanted to say how brave you are. I wish I was as brave to post certain things on my blog, but I just don't know if I will ever be able to do more than just allude to them.

Thank you for being one of the brave ones. You're awesome.