Couple Things.

Just a couple things we need to go over.

1. I have officially been offered a place to stay in Kenya, yes, I did say Kenya, if I ever decide to go there for an official SAFARI to see the LIONS.
Okay, let me catch my breath after even thinking about that. Because when I say "dream vacation" - that would be a "dream vacation." And some friends of ours, who we have officially reconnected with after almost 10 years, are living in Kenya as missionaries. And they found us on this blog! Can you believe that? Isn't technology amazing?
You are probably amazed at this moment that I have friends who are missionaries, aren't you? Be honest. And really, I don't mean to make everything about me, but doesn't this speak volumes to the kind of person I am if I have friends who are missionaries. Yay for me!

2. I realize I haven't written a "The Last Time I Talked To My Mother..." post recently (which are quickly becoming world re-noun...dont' believe me? Read this or this.) but that doesn't mean we haven't been talking and that doesn't mean she hasn't been post-worthy. Oh, no. That's not it at all. I assure you. It's just that considering we just had Mother's Day and pretty much all she got was to order off the the lunch menu at Red Lobster I thought I'd give her a break. Again, this speaks volumes about me, does it not?

This is shaping up to be one world-class post, sista'.

Don't be scared of my lingo.

3. Thursday is a special day. It's the day my heart started beating again. That sounds strange to say, but if you know me at all, you know what I'm talking about. You see, several years ago my heart stopped beating. Just stopped. Cold. Just like that. I dare not go in to it all here...that's for another day. But then suddenly it started beating again. And I owe it all to Thursday.
Actually, I owe it all to God. But he let's me use creative licensing with my writing. So when I say something poetic, like, "I owe it all to Thursday," he doesn't really care or call me on it.
Anyway, I can't wait to share it with you all.

4. Today was Remi's last day of pre-school. I shot out a text message to all my Twitter friends (who are not any of you because you won't go sign up. Why? What's that all about?) that said, "I just dropped Remi off for her last day of school. Can we all say together, 'Come quickly Lord Jesus?'" It was really funny in the moment.

5. Some of you have been asking about my Julio's. So here is, Julio's Chips in 12 words or less: Corn chips with salt and spices that actually glisten in the sunlight.
Go to their website and check them out!
Oh, by the way, know what would be cool? If all of you sent emails to that little Mexican man on the front of their website and told him about me. Then he would call me and ask if he could advertise on my site and I would say, "What advertise? Give me free chips and salsa for a lifetime and my space is your space." Then when my chips and salsa came in I would have you all over. And then ya'll would all be like, "isn't Melissa so cool that she would have us over to share her chips" and someone would inevidably say, "not only that - she has friends who serve the Lord in Kenya. Wow, that Melissa, she really must be amazing."

6. Now I need some thoughts on what to do for a child who wakes up every day and asks to "go wimmin'." And yet has a father who told me that if I spend even $20 on a plastic Timmy the Turtle pool he's going to make me sleep in it. (Personally, I have no doubt this is so he can see me in a wet t-shirt. But he begs to differ.)
Tips? Somebody? Please?
What? Is that someone calling me and Remi to a thrice weekly play-date? Uh, let me think about...OK!

7. I really like Remi. I don't know if I've told you that lately. I do. I say that I'm going to kill her. And oh, I've thought about it. But then she does something crazy and wonderful and she's my "sweet disaster" all over again. That's what I call her now. And she answers to it. I really like her because...
She lets me flat-iron her hair.
She seems as interested in The Golden Girls as I am when we watch it.
She put down three pieces of sushi on Sunday afternoon like a pro. Loved it!
She tells me I'm pretty.
We must have the same taste in men, because she's madly in love with the same guy I am.
She calls Tobey by his first AND last name.
Sometimes she cries to go see Poppie. And sometimes I do, too.
I caught her giving big wet kisses to the dogs.
She always waves at our neighbors and says, "Hi everybody."
She folds her hands when she prays.

I like that kid.

8. Our neighbor is trying to sell his truck becuase it gets NINE miles to the gallon. Anyone? Anyone? Don't just settle on his though, without trying out our '92 Honda, first. It has no air and it looks like we're smuggling drugs or dead bodies in the trunk. You'll feel mixed emotions when you drive it though, just warning you. We're kinda like, "No, we're not burning up gasoline during these trying economic times. But we may very well be contributing to the drug trafficing problem, can't say for sure."

9. Oh, and you know what 2 David's make for? A very boring finale.

Lee. Out.