Mar 13, 2008

The Monkey Mat

Once, when I was in elementary school and my mom and dad had to go to a parent teacher conference my 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Harrison, told my parents, "she certainly is creative. Really creative. She'll either make a million dollars in some line of work - be it music or entertainment or art. Or she'll do nails." one ever really understood that remark but to this day I have both a love of money and of mani/pedi's. But I digress.

One thing no one pegged me for - ever - was a creative parent. Of course, one thing no one pegged me for - ever - was a parent, at all. I think everyone just assumed that I would forgo the whole "childbearing years" and spend my time journaling and reading US magazine. Boy, did I fool all of those naysayers. There's more to me than meets the eye. And I'm starting to get the hang of this parenting thing. (Someone, please, knock on wood. Immediatly.)

Having all that said.......drumroll please.....introducing the Monkey Mat.

This little mat is for little people who decide they are going to act like monkeys. And this mat doesn't just stay at the Radke ranch. No way, sir. It travels. For instance, this week it went to the beach. Even monkeys like the water.

So here's what you do.
When someone picks up a coffee cup and you tell them to put it down and they look at you like you have 6 heads, and do it anyway - they're being a Monkey. To the Monkey Mat they go.
Or when somone decides that being done with breakfast means throwing their plate down, well, that sounds like a Monkey to me.
Or let's say you've said "don't touch daddy's glasses" to the point that it sounds like a last name. Kind of like "Remi Hope Dontouchdaddysglasses" and they do it anyway. Monkey Mat.

But be warned. Even monkeys make sad faces. And you put a monkey on a Monkey mat and you can expect to see one. And of course, monkeys have friends...and poppies. So somtimes a monkey will be sitting on their mat and one of their friends....or poppies, will come along and think, "If I sit by this monkey on this mat then it will make everything better." And usually they're right.

So that's a Monkey Mat. And it works. And if it doesn't...well, stay tuned for next weeks edition of The Spanking Spoon.


Anonymous said...

I have never used a monkey mat. But the spanking spoon worked wonders! At least I thought... Every year at Sam's school's open house is a story he has written about the spanking spoon. It doesn't portray me as the loving mother others think I am:)


Lisa said...

Okay, now the million dollar question is, Was Poppie consoling Remi or Did Noni put Poppi on the monkey mat as well? Those of us reading will never truly know. :)

Anonymous said...

You are AWFUL placing that beautiful angel on a monkey mat! I am going to report you to the CPS, MOPS, PTA and the LFA and if that doesn't get your attention, I'll call in the U.N.C.L.E. D.O.N. and we'll have you arrested for abusive parenting! I'm going to insist that sweet baby come and live with us! We'll treat her right! ~Aunt Melba~

txjules said...

well at least she has her hair bow on while she is on the monkey mat. One must be fashionable at all times! I can tell she has been reading her People and Us!! Go Suri how it's done!!!