Oct 24, 2007

What's the deal with your Stretch Marks?

Have you ever been asked that question?
Mortifying, isn't it?

But I was asked it just this morning. And yesterday. And twice on Sunday. I was asked about my Stretch Marks, or rather, why my blog title has changed to Stretch Marks. (You didn't honestly think I meant actual Stretch Marks did you? How tacky.)

Here's why the change.

When I created this blog I was sitting in my living room chair (aka my "Vestal" chair. Which is what all my friends call it, since it's the biggest and best chair in my living room and no matter who comes over I sit in it - because it's mine. Kind of like on all those old Gaither Homecoming videos and Vestal Goodman was the only one sitting in a throne chair down front while everyone else crouched together on some cheap riser). Anyway, I was trying desperately to come up with a name.

I begged David to help me think of something but he would occasionally just throw out random words like, "announcer", "yardage", "throw" and "Cowboy" as he stared intently at Monday Night Football. I know now those were not options for my Blog title but rather words that apparently go with this game he continues to be obsessed with. Since he was being absolutely no help to me at all I did what usually works, I gave him an impassioned "hmph." Still, he was unmoved.
I sighed deeper. Louder. To no avail.
Finally giving up I put my computer to the side, got up from my "Vestal chair" walked in to the kitchen and declared, "Where's the cookie dough?"
Viola! A blog name was born.
But alas, it was the blog name that could never be. No, it isn't already taken. It's that I'm joining Weight watchers tomorrow and the last thing I want to see every day is the words Cookie Dough spread across my computer. But what will indeed keep me motivated to "count those points" is if I see the words Stretch Marks plastered across it. Yep, that should do the trick.

And then lastly...Two years ago I received a card from a friend that absolutely brightened the living daylights out of my sorry ole' day. I laughed and laughed and laughed. This was a pretty sad time in my life and so cards were coming in my mailbox every day, but this one was different. And what was so great was that it wasn't what the card had said, but what she had written in the card that made it so wonderful. And it was right then and there that I decided I wanted to write a line of greeting cards for Dayspring / Hallmark greeting cards.
Has she lost her mind? You may be asking.
No, I have not.
For you see my husband (who shall heretofore be known by his pet name, "The Attorney General") has a wonderful and longstanding relationship with Hallmark since they are now distributing a line of greeting cards from one of the musical artists he manages.
So if ever there were connections, baby, we got 'em!!
And I have decided that if a person is really down. I mean way down...down in the dumps and can't get out of bed down...then the last thing they want to see is two furry kittens reciting the Lord's prayer.
Or a kite flying in a gentle breeze while the clouds spell out a Psalm.
Or a little lost lamb being carried on Ziggy's shoulders.
That doesn't make us feel better.
What's the old saying? LAUGHTER is the best medicine. Make us laugh. Make us have to get out of bed for fear that we'll wet on ourselves. That's the kind of card I want. So the Attorney Generals advice?? Write them. Give him the ideas and he'll pass them on to the card company. Have I done that yet? Nope. But when I do Stretch Marks is going to be the name of my card line.

Sometimes it's difficult to send a card. We forget to buy one. Or we don't like any of the ones we see. We put it off because we don't have their address, or we're out of stamps. But sometimes a card is just what somebody needs. Email is nice, but knowing something arrived just for you - with your name on it. Well, that can solve a world of hurt. Yeah, it's sometimes a STRETCH (see where I'm going with this?) but we still make the effort to do it. But I'm also going to call it that because the line will be devoted to women, what makes us laugh, what makes us tick, what ticks us off, etc.
And what is one thing we know much about?
You guessed it.
Stretch marks.

So until I actually have a card line that I can call Stretch Marks I'm going to call my blog that! Mainly, because I just think it's so darn cute. Of course I should probably go online and actually look up what Stretch Marks really are. I here a lot of women have them, but of course, that's not something I would know anything about. (Tomorrow's blog is dedicated entirely to why I lie so much.)


Anonymous said...

Okay, Melissa...I was just going to "lurk" and never comment, but I have to say I like the "Stretch Marks" title much better. But the real reason I'm commenting is that I'm also starting to count those points (again) tomorrow. So I'm grateful I don't have to look at Cookie Dough either!

Cute blog -- but you really just finish that book and then write many, many more!


P.S. I laughed until I cried about your Vestal chair! :) I knew EXACTLY what you were talking about without the explanation.

Debbie said...


Kristen said...

I'm not the least bit surprised. You have always sent more cards to me than anyone I know. And, when we were kids, you would even underline, and sometimes double underline, the parts you really liked on the card. But I always thought what you wrote on the inside was way better. I'll take a look at your Stretch Marks any day. (I couldn't resist...)