Jul 11, 2010

7 Days Makes One Weak.

So I took last week off from blogging so the fam and I could go to the beach. And I have never been more exhausted in my life.

Perhaps someone, somewhere wrote that the beach is relaxing and enjoyable and to be delighted in by all manners of people; but I believe that person to be without three things:
1. children
2. grandparents
3. sense

When locked up in a beach house for seven days, make sure that you don't forget the Spf 50, a beach ball and (please excuse my language) a buttload of wooden spanking spoons. I forgot the wooden spanking spoons and found one of my children begging me to "please don't try to spank me with that cake thingy again." It was a cake server; not one my proudest moments.

Last week we spent four of the seven days inside a beach house while it poured rain. We had made the mistake of packing the fridge with things we thought might be worked off while building sand castles, swimming or playing outside. So a refrigerator full of Kool-Aid, Dr. Pepper, Chips Ahoy and Little Debbie's made for some pretty looooooong afternoons stuck inside. Add to that a set of grandparents who thought everything my kids did or said or tried was just wonderful and miraculous...

"I think it's cute how he spits on your Aunt Melba."

"Don't worry about them, Melissa. Playing in the street helps a child's confidence."

"Look how she hangs him over the balcony; she's strong!"

Of course I make fun and all sorts of snarky comments, but if you only knew that a week-long vacation with my family makes for some pretty memorable moments. Ones I wouldn't trade for anything to be totally honest. Like how on Wednesday we spent all morning with my dad before we remembered around noon that it was his birthday. We then decided to take him out for a nice seafood dinner and let him pay. He loves stuff like that!

Or how we decided to take in The Rain Forest Cafe on Thursday night, which was like saying, "hey, let's all go down to the Barnum and Bailey Circus and take acid!" Fuuuuuuun. Personally I think Satan is busy building one in his firey dominion right now as I write this.

But I am back and never the worse for wear. I would love for someone to leave me a comment and tell me how horrid their family vacation was - it makes me feel less alone. But if you can't, then tell me how wonderful its going, I like those stories, too.


transplanting me said...

we're going to the beach this coming saturday. and i'm totally worried that my kids will think it sucks. it's been reported that the beach we're headed to is loaded with box jelly fish so no swimming at the beach. my kids should love that!!

Anonymous said...

I have been waiting for this vaca report! Sounds like you all had the usual blast! We just got back from San Francisco where hubby made me walk at the min. 4 miles a day. And as Sam says "he made us look at so much history I wanted to puke"!
Love, Randi

Janis said...

We're at the beach right now with my parents, two brothers (and their families) and us. That's 16. So far, so good. I'm pretty sure I broke my big toe tonight going for a too dark walk on the beach and earlier today my mom "helped me out" by dropping my National Geographic magazine from the second story down to pool. Only it landed, spine first, on my skull. Thanks mom-I really thought you would have tried to kill me during those teenage years-not now when you'll have to take some responsibility for these kids I brought if I die!!!!

Cari said...

BAHAHAHAHA! You are too funny!!! As for the wooden spanking spoons...I recently made the switch to paint stirrers! They are FREE if you go to Wal Mart and say you bought three cans of paint and they didn't give you one for each can...It's not a lie as long as you have bought paint from them within the last 10 years. Now I have one for my purse, the house and the car. My kid sees anything made of wood and he starts saying "I sorry!" so he hasn't noticed the change. And the comments from the grandparents...hysterical! Sounds just like my mom and dad! I made the mistake of telling my mom that after putting my son in his crib this afternoon for a nap, he played for almost an hour before falling asleep. Her response was "And you JUST LEFT HIM IN THERE?!!!!!!!". Why yes mother I did! As for vacations...We recently returned from Gulf Shores and after 3 days of my child throwing sand on everybody within a 20 foot radius, having a total meltdown at Alligator Alley because we wouldn't let him get in the water with a 10 foot long gator and a husband who kept saying "I hate sand!" I to was ready to come home!

Kaye said...

You want to know how "awesome" our vacation is? Well, there isn't one. That's how awesome.

Hubby has new job (which we ARE thankful for) that allows him 0 time off for a while. And there is no money. Seriously tight budget = no money.

Sigh...I would just like to leave the house to go somewhere other than the grocery store, work, or church.

Ramblin' Red said...

Our vacay was a weekend camping trip - which was fun and memorable (i.e. one of our church brothers making jokes about my husband's nipples perking up when it was cold and subsequent comments about him being homo - because we're kind like that) but also not without some misery, like the rainstorm as we pulled up and set up camp, or the cookstove that went kaputz on us, or, my personal favorite, my 7 y/o son channeling a pms'ing 13 y/o girl for the weekend - DRA-ma!

Miss Jenn said...

every year but this year (I have an 18 mo old and 3 wk old--I'm not suicidal enough to go this year) we go as chaperones for our youth group camping trip. let me spell that out for you...camping, in a tent, out houses, 2000 kids total on a Colorado mountain, 16 shower stalls with cold water...glory to God.

did I mention my in-laws go?

Anonymous said...

I will be camping with the in-laws--ALL the in-laws--for our yearly camping trip next week. Have I mentioned that my in-laws are similar to the Cleavers--no drinking, no swearing, no spanking, no disciplining children, no sleeping in, no making dishes to pass from a box, no skipping a shower, no skipping the make-up for a day, no nothing that makes camping bearable. Oh, and they'll do all of this while looking made-up enough to be prom queens.

And believe me, I will be doing ALL those things just to make it through 3 nights--except the make-up...

Alex said...

What a pristine site as compared to the view from my Cleveland window! I’m looking at about a two feet of snow with piles that exceed four feet.

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