Oct 28, 2009

Chicken, Hair Nets, Pound Cake and Jesus.

Last Sunday the AG had to go out of town, which meant I had to come up with some kind of creative concoction for lunch for me and the kiddos. Now normally that "concoction" would be wrangling a lunch out with Nonie and Poppy and putting all food items on his tab, but they were out of town too.

Let me tell ya, Sunday lunches are bo-ring for the born again if friends and fried chicken are not involved. But I digress...

Sunday I found myself at The Brookshire Brothers (that's a big-time grocery store here in the 75904) with Remi and Rocco and noticed quite a healthy line at the deli checkout. Seeing as how I am my mothers daughter and she is her mothers daughter I felt the need to inch further and see what the fuss was about. And wouldn't you know it? FRIED CHICKEN.

I promptly park myself in the looooonnnggg line and wait for my turn all the while praying underneath my breath, "Please don't let the lady in the hair net wait on me...please don't let the lady in the hair net wait on me..." but guess who waited on me?

Me and the Lord are tight.

So as I sheepishly make my way forward this is what I hear, "whatwillyouhavetodaydarlin'yougonnahavesomefriedchickenandwillitbeforhereortogoandwillyouhaveadrinkwithththatandwhattwosideswouldyoulike?"

And my mind goes something like this...

Oh, Lordy she is talking too fast.

What sides do I want? What sides do I want?

I like okra.

Okra. And yes, gravy is good.

Oh crap, I've got kids. What do my kids want?

She's talking to me again. She's talking fast.

I can't think that fast.

She wants an answer and she wants it now. She's really loud. And where is Remi...

And then, as I looked for Remi, I spot her at the very back of the line.

What is she doing back there? And why are the other shoppers looking at her and laughing?

Oh sweet mercy.

And there, at the back of the line stood my daughter - with a piece of pound cake in her hand. And to her left? The table where the bakery pound cakes sat. One pound cake tin just a' flappin' in the wind. She had opened it up and taken a piece, and was enjoying every last morsel.

Back to the hair net.

Yes, gravy. I said that already!

Remi, get up here! And bring that pound cake with you!

Just give them some corn fritters.

Uh, ma'am...hold on one second. I have a child to beat.

Remi, I don't know what you're thinking...eat the pound cake and be done with it. Momma is ordering food at the speed of light and I ain't got no time for this.

I drag her back to the front of the line with me.

Okay, mam. I'm back. Yes, I'd prefer a roll over corn bread. And a drink, sure. Would they like a drink? I don't know, let me ask...

I look down and find my daughter standing obediently beside me.
A piece of banana bread hanging out the side of her mouth.

Oh, c'mon!!!!!!

We left with more desserts than chicken that afternoon.


Amy said...

Love it! Life with toddlers! Everytime I take mine to the store with me, I promise I will never do it again..and then......I do. Of course. Brookshires is lovely!

Sissy said...

Oh my.

Yes, the people in hairnets scare me. I can admit it. And I know they have to wear them.

I don't often get hot food from the deli, but at Walmart, I will stand in line for their potato wedges. YUM. It's the best thing walmart ever made.

Mandy said...

Too funny...glad you were able to find the humor in this! I would have probably just curled up in a corner somewhere and hid!

oldwomaninashoe said...

Melissa, if you're ever in 46733, we MUST go grocery shopping together. Remi, Rocco & my three terrorist will make the unsaved, believers in a heartbeat. Because it's only by the grace of God that their Mamas don't break one of the ten commandments.

Tinika said...

You crack me up! Too funny!

Anonymous said...

Never a dull moment in your family! And for that I am truly grateful!

P.S. Remi is my kind of girl! Pound cake and banana bread in one shopping trip. Yesssssssss!


Anonymous said...

Never a dull moment in your family! And for that I am truly grateful!

P.S. Remi is my kind of girl! Pound cake and banana bread in one shopping trip. Yesssssssss!


Genie Marie said...

Thank the Lord that I am not the only one who has children that do things while I am in the grocery store...reading your blog makes me feel like I am not alone!! Too funny...hope the cake was good!

katy said...

Hilarious!!! Don't you LOVE taking your kids out in public? They will embarrass you everytime! I hate when my kids want to eat the stuff out of the cart, and I tell them no, and they yell, "But I'm soooo hungryyyy". I feel like everyone in a ten mile radius is thinking I probably haven't fed my kids all day (which would NOT be the case) and what a bad mother I am. LOL. Once I let my daughter eat a banana, I gave them the peel @ the checkout and the lady said, "Mam, we can't weigh the peel, I guess you got a free banana". Total humiliation...