Rocco: The Eternal Surprise

A couple we know brought their brand new baby home this weekend. And due to my inability to ever listen to what anyone asks of me, I showed up, unexpected and bright and early. And I would like to think they were pleased as punch to see me, but I lie to myself quite often.

But as that momma lay in that rocking chair holding the baby that they had longed for and prayed for - and that some really unselfish young girl has entrusted to them - I couldn't help but think of myself just one year ago. I guess it was because I saw her staring into that babies eyes as if to say, "I know I love you and I know you're mine...but it might take us both a while to get used to each other. Cause right now we just feel like strangers sharing the same couch."

Such are the joys of adoption, I suppose.

For nine months baby never hears your voice - but someone else's. It's someone else's voice and heartbeat that bonds to them. And quite likely, it is someone else's arms they are first placed into. Maybe someone else's eyes they first peer into. And it can leave an adoptive mother in a precarious position; for moments later that child is in your arms, at your home, and there you are (usually at 3:45 AM) staring deep into someones eyes that seem pretty unfamiliar to you.

And so it was with Rocco. I will admit this.

It did not come naturally with he and I. It did not come fast with he and I. The love may have been there - but the admiration? Not so much. I welcomed him into my home, just not really into my world. Whereas he welcomed my food, just not really me giving it to him. And I began to worry because it all happened so naturally with Remi, so quickly, effortlessly. But not with Rocco.

I remember a lunch I had with The AG one afternoon at Captain D's (cuz that's just how we roll) and me saying, "I don't know what's going on...I just ain't feelin' it...I can't bond with this child...he won't let me sleep or eat or shower...and it's like he dislikes me, too. What do we do? Am I a horrible person?"

StretchMarks: Where The Ugly Truth Reigns Supreme.

For all you mothers out there who first felt this with an infant please stand on your head so I will know who you are. Yes, you there...with the bags under your eyes and your bra on the outside of your clothes...I see you...Thank you.

But just as sweetly as he could he gently reminded me that "with a little rest, a long shower, and another two weeks or so, I guarantee you that you change your tune."

Never, ever doubt The AG.

Because just as I was surprised when he slipped into my world. I was that much more shocked when he slipped into my heart.

And boy howdy, did he ever.

Rocco is what every momma dreams of: blond hair, blue eyed, football crushing, chick magnet, mamma's boy. And just when I think he can't woo me anymore, flirt with me any better or kiss me any sweeter...he does it again. And I am reminded once again that God knows more what we need than we even know ourselves.

Happy Birthday, Rocklin. You are my sweet, sweet, sweetest surprise.