Sep 30, 2009

Dooley Drop-Off

I suppose there's something to be said for the kind of car you drive. I've never been a big believer in it, personally, though I will admit to feeling a little "oogie-oogie" when I see an old man with massive chest hair driving a Camero.

Sorry folks, that just never did it for me.

When I was in High School my mom used to tell me that a guy would never ask out a girl who had a nicer car than he did. I believed (and still do) that this was her way of getting out of ever buying me a nice car - but ha! ha! - it backfired on her when my dad bought me a cute little red thang for my 16th birthday. She rolled her eyes, but he swore it was so no knucklehead with mudflaps would ever ask me out.

Now I'm older and I still don't really care what kind of car you drive...I only care what kind of car I drive.

Oh, I'm kidding.

I really never have been a car snob. I suppose it's just never been my thing. Drive up in a Pinto or a Caddy and it makes me no never mind. Your ability to wear anything under a 12 however and we may have a serious issue to our friendship.

Last year when I was taking Remi to Mother's Day Out it seriously looked like a used car lot, dealing only in mini-vans, was running a sell. I never felt like I fit in. I didn't drive a mini-van. Still don't. It's nothing personal, really. I've seen those commercials where the kids pop up that table in the back and flip their seats around to play cards and I asked The Attorney General for one right there on the spot. So see? I'm no van snob. But you should really see that Mother's Day Out parking lot. It's a proverbial sea of golds and burgundy's, sliding side doors and those little stickers that show there is a mommy, a dadddy, two kids and a schnauzer living in their house.

Be warned mini-van haters. It's not a pretty site.

And then we moved.

And Remi started a new school.

A really, nice, Episcopal, private school.

With the really cute plaid uniforms and navy jumpers.

And I thought - finally - my mini-van days were behind me. Maybe I'd fit in here. Maybe my little black SUV wouldn't be alone.

But it is.

It still is.

Because I don't drive one of these.

And allow me to go on record now as saying, "And. I. Never. Will."

Not there's anything wrong with a 2-ton Diesel Dooley. Oh, no. They are big and manly and I feel certain that as soon as you swing the door open you smell things like beef jerky and deer food, but they're just not for me. I like things simple: My little leather seats with seat warmers for when my hemorrhoids are acting up, my Sirius radio and my 6-CD changer that has things like The Frey and Praise and Worship music in it. Not something that plays Montgomery Gentry or Waylon at a single whim.

I don't know, maybe I am a snob about cars. I mean, what if one day some little guy pops out of one of those tanks and Remi says, "Momma - that's Jacob. I love him. He drives that big truck and his mudflaps have my name on them." I'm not sure what I'll do exactly, but chances are her daddy will have her down at the nearest Mercedes dealership before I have to come up with anything.


oldwomaninashoe said...

Oh...but you don't know the power that goes with driving one of those things! Over the years I have driven little economy cars ( putt-putt cars),sport cars ( my high school Camero), to station wagons, sedans, conversion vans, mini van, currently a Durango with a V8 under the hood. My husband is a classic car lover & just bought this little two seater thing that thinks it's a car. It's fun. It's cute but heaven help me!! Put me behind the wheel of my Durango, put me next to some snot nose teenager who guns his engine, it's on! There's power in those trucks and gas-guzzlers like I drive...and heated seats, CD players, Sirius radios. Ask to drive one, smoke some snotnose at a redlight and you will know what I mean!!
BTW, someday Rocco will be very impressed by all those big old trucks.

neeki said...

Hahaha! I laughed out loud at your rationale for your seat warmers! And I agree, it's not Remi who you need to worry about driving the 2-ton diesel. Rocco will be all over his camouflage cargo pants, no less!! But it won't be his fault. You did move him to Texas, after all.

Deanna said... truck is a 3/4 ton long bed Ford with an extended cab and a standard transmission because I need that granny gear for pulling a gooseneck. I also love camo cargo utilitarian and so cute with a pink tank top. I also have a hearty appreciation for all Paula Deen cooking...does that redeem me?? :)

Meredith said...

I think Dr.Pepper just shot out of my nose...I took my daughter to Weekday Pre-School (ie: Mother's Day Out) this morning in my husbands 4-Door Ford truck pulling a gooseneck trailer adorned with tons of cow s*&%, after I realized (while running late) that I didn't have her carseat in my car (long story). You should have seen the looks that the mommies driving the Mercedes and the Escalades were giving me - I'm not real sure it was because of what I was driving or because of the smell! :) And yes, we DO live in TEXAS! YEE-HAW!

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

Hahaha - I just finished with three minivans in a row! But as of Monday, I now have a cute suv with a sunroof, nav, heated seats, ooh la la ;) I'm definitely not a car snob - this suv was cheaper than my fancy minivan - and I'm saving tons on my monthly payment! :) Hip hip hooray!!

Cari said...

BAHAHAHAHA!!!! I feel the same way about minivans! I just can't bring myself to drive one! I will keep my SUV. I did however fall in love with a good ole country boy who drives one of those big diesel 4 wheel drive trucks with my name on his mudflaps(ok he really doesn't have my name on them but he would if I asked) I have to admit that I LOVE to drive his truck!!! Its like a big tank!

Trish said...

car? what is that? we traded our cars for snow-machines and four wheelers!! However the last time we were in Anchorage I rented a car and they kindly upgraded me to a fancy mini-van.......I was in love. To bad I no longer have a life that requires a mini-van.
I am looking at getting a trailer for my snow machine though!

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

Oh my gosh- Laughing out loud while I am typing this. I married the big truck guy. Yes I did. But, he does not have my name on the mudflaps and I get to drive MY SUV!!! You are so funny!!!!