Sep 21, 2009

And I Thought I Was the Dancing Queen.

You should hear me sing the ABBA song. I can tear it up.

But apparently I can't tear it up quite like this lady.

So just in case you had forgotten I moved to the 75904 and just in case you had forgotten the 75904 was located in deep East Texas and just in case you thought deep East Texas was located somewhere other than THE BACKWOODS here is living proof:

From the front page (the front page people! This made the front page!) of the Lufkin Daily News (which is an adventure in reading all on its own):


Police: Women Steal Money From Dancing Queen
Dancer who won $400 at REO
has winnings stolen by disgruntled patrons

By JESSICA SAVAGE
The Lufkin Daily News

Friday, September 18, 2009

A prize-winning dance competition at an area night club late Thursday ended in highway robbery.

*You might think this would be a nifty play on words, all dolled up by the Lufkin Daily...you would be wrong. It actually was "highway robbery."

Lufkin Police arrested six women early Friday for stealing $400 in winnings from the dancing queen during a confrontation on Denman Avenue, just inside Loop 287, according to a police spokesman.

*Yes, the question you are asking yourself right now, the answer is "yes." Instead of calling her by name they are referring to her as "the dancing queen." Apparently I have been dethroned.

A woman told police she won the money during a competition earlier that night at Club REO off U.S. 69 south.

*This is Club REO. Call ahead now to reserve your spot.


After her win, she exchanged words with some women at the club who were apparently upset about it. She then left the club with a friend, said Lt. David Young.

*"Lt. Young, tell us, what exactly were the women upset about? That she was a better dancer than them? Or that the song she chose to dance to was 'Ain't No Party Like A REO Part Cuz A REO Party Don't Stop!'"

As the two were driving into Lufkin, they noticed an SUV following them. They pulled over on Lilac Street and several women in the SUV got out. At least one came over to the car and punched the winner. That person then reached in the car and took the winnings, which were tucked inside the woman's bra, Young said.

*Uh...I could go places with this. But I won't. Her bra??? Seriously??? Okay, maybe I will go places with this. First of all, if someone reached into my bra they would be charged $400. Not to mention they would probably find my house key, a package of mints, a hotel room key I lost this past summer and a cherry tomato I've been looking for since last Tuesday.

The two women in the car sped away and called police. The person in the SUV also tried to leave,

*Wait for it...wait for it...

but it got stuck in the mud, Young said.

Police arrived and arrested six women believed to be involved in the robbery. The SUV had to be towed.

Those charged with robbery included Crystal Brown, 20, Robin Griffin, 33, Vivian Howard, 25, Katasha Sterns, 20, Samica Sterns, 24, and Aretha Waters, 19.

*Smile ladies! You're on the internet!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And here is the reason why the next time someone asks me to bust out my Dancing Queen moves I am going to do three things:

1. Take off my moo-moo and put on something a little less forgiving...

2. Ask them to change the song to Rock This Party (Everybody Dance Now)..

3. And check my bra. Chances are whatever I've hidden in there needs to be pushed down a wee bit more.


69 comments:

Sarah Victoria said...

This post made me laugh hysterically, I went to college for a semester right up the highway from you! and there were always crazy stories from people driving there to go to clubs and such!

Anonymous said...

LMBO! That sounds like something that would make it to the front page of our paper.

Jeanette said...

Lufkin? Oh lordy! Yes indeed, been there...I could see it happening. Way beyond funny. Thank you so much for sharing that!

A Musing Mother said...

Seriously, I was not at REO so I don't know HOW a dancing queen could be crowned.

Last time I caught myself dancing I looked like Hannah Montana - 14 year old style. NOT pretty.

T said...

Oh my! Laughing too hard! Thanks for my once again daily laugh from you!! Just three hours away from you here in the 75401 area!

Danyele Easterhaus said...

i guess you can't steal a trophy if there isn't one, but man, those ladies did steal the bucks from the dancing queen. sad, that you were de-throned. i also should inform jada....sad. very sad. :(

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

Oh my good gracious, Melissa.... Thanks for airing East Tx dirty laundry for the world. Now they know just how backwoods we all really are.... Bwwhhhaaaaaa... bbwwhhaaaa!!!!

Oh, and who knows... maybe we are related (wink). I do know you are a kindred spirit!

Givinya De Elba said...

Ha ha! I love they way you published their names too. That way, I can smirk at them personally from over here in Australia.

And this is why I read Stretch Marks.

Even if your Rut of the previous post is caused by your forgetting to pop over to read me at "Killing A Fly" (http://www.friendlyblackandwhitedog.blogspot.com/)

No, scratch that. Read my sister at "Graze if you want to" because her kids are crazier than mine. (http://grazeifyouwanttobutdonteatdirt.blogspot.com/)

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