Jul 27, 2009

The Bachelorette: What Will We Do Next Tuesday?

Whenever I hear these words...

And so we've come
To the end of the road
And I can't let go
It's unnatural
You belong to me
I belong to you

I think of two things: My girlfriend Kasey and I sitting in our dorm room discussing whether or not I should twerp Jeff Jenkins (which...I did)



and Halle Berry's haircut in Boomerang.





Both are classic '90's memories.

But now we must officially sing that song to Jillian and The Bachelorette, for we have officially come to the end of our journey.

Well, except for tonight there is that whole "did they / didn't they stay together" thing that must be discussed on After The Final Rose. Which, by all intents and purposes, has become just as exciting as the show itself:
Did they stay together?


Were they able to successfully mature and grow as a couple when their weekends were not filled with helicopters rides, scaling the Bonaventure hotel or tables made of ice?


Were they able to make-out successfully even if there were no cameramen slinking in a corner on their regular Saturday night dates?


Ya know...the typical questions.

But in the end she chose Ed. Which goes to show you that:
a. I can pick 'em.
b. I can pick 'em.

It also goes to show you that Canadians are far less discriminatory about what their loved ones wear than we uptight Americans. To think that I ask the AG to choose swim trunks from Old Navy that cover his upper thigh leaves me both embarrassed and full of pride. Lord, forgive.

I am happy for Jillian. And I am happy for Ed. And I am not afraid to admit that I am a girl; and sometimes a girl just wants to see big diamond rings and long flowy dresses and really handsome men bend down on one knee. Call it "silly," call it "shallow," but I call it "love."

(Well, I don't so much call it "love" as I call it "really exciting reality television that imitates life - if life were spent embracing the ones we love while floating on surfboards and surrounded by pink hibiscus." Which happens.....HEL-LO!!)

But never fear, my lovelies, just like Boyz to Men, we don't have to do something as unnatural as walk to the end of the road. No! We can choose here and now, to link arms, look each other in the face and say, "NO! We are not going back to our stinkin' lives of potty training and teething tablets. No! We are not going back to unloading the dishwasher and surrendering ourselves to our husbands out of tremendous amounts of guilt and pressure. No! We are going to remain in a make-believe world of love, tough choices, hot tubs and teeny bikinis. Only this time, it won't be teeny bikinis as much as it will be swim dresses, with built in shelf-bras.

See you real soon.

8 comments:

Danyele Easterhaus said...

still happy you did the post...now i know. i went thru an entire season living the bachelorette soley thru your post and i am happy! so, love that you called it. ur so smart!

Kristan said...

I coudn't wait to hear what you had to say today..I was kind of hoping she would pick Reid..but how much does she love Ed, when she's head to head with Reid...just seems weird! Can't wait till next Monday!

votemom said...

ok, your last sentence... best wrap up EVER!

Desha said...

I had to fast forward through a lot of it last nightsince there wasn't so much conversation as their was making out. Gets old after awhile!I just wonder what they are going to do when they actually have to talk to each other. I wish she would have picked Reid since he is so adorable, but I was happy with Ed. I did like Kipton's ring better though!

Ashley said...

Ugh! I can't believe she picked ED!! I wasn't too happy about that choice but she genuinely looked thrilled when he was proposing so I hope she truly is. Maybe it will work out for them. Fingers crossed! Maybe she'll pull a Jason and dump Ed for Reid in the 'After the Final Rose' show. Haha!

Sissy said...

I was so hoping that Reid would sleep her off her feet, but I am okay with Ed. Better than okay, I guess. He certainly did love her.

I just wish Reid had spit it out sooner. Ohh... I'm sure he's kicking himself.

More to Love...can't hardly wait.

Givinya De Elba said...

I'm gonna have to get on youtube again and check out this Ed guy.

I am glad you lived to tell about the weekend, now TELL! I was thinking of you, hoping they didn't - you know - make fun of your hair or anything you cooked that flopped in the middle.

Janis said...

Hey, I'm a child of the 80's, an adolescent of the 90's-but what does it mean to twerp someone? Should you be embarassed since your mom reads this?