The Bachelorette: What The Heck Show Am I Watching?

I can almost guarantee you that last night's episode of The Bachelorette was one of the nights when, oh, I don't know, my Granny decides to see what all the fuss is about. Or my mom decides to sneak a peak of the show I am so obsessed with. Or my mother-in-law decides to see just how sick and twisted her daughter-in-law really is.

Yep, the one night that the show is absolutely so bizarre will inevitably be the one night that everyone in my life decides to watch it.

So if that is the case - if you found yourself tuning in last night due to complete and utter curiosity (and also because The Real Housewives of New Jersey has ended and you had an hour until Jon and Kate came on) - then I must tell you, WHAT YOU SAW WAS NOT TRULY WHAT THE BACHELORETTE WAS ABOUT!! I implore you people, give it one more shot.

To be perfectly honest, there were moments when even Meridith and I looked at each other and said, "What is happening here?" Did anyone else feel that way? So here are a few high-lights and low-lights from last nights show. Please feel free to add your own.

1. Where was Jillian? She may have been talking into the camera, but she certainly wasn't there. Did anyone else notice this? She looked completely spaced out the entire show....she's grieving Ed. We all are.

2. Tanner. Tanner. Tanner. Dear Tanner, pull your pants up, put her shoes on and go home. I have never before gotten The Bachelorette and Cinemax confused until you showed up.

3. Seriously? A romantic dinner served on ice sculpted chairs, tables and glasses? Where am I? Canada? The last date I went on I stood in line and ordered a Burrito and split a Reese's while watching a movie. That's real life, people.

4. Reid, you were a nice little surprise. I like neurotic. And I adore sarcastic. So all in all I was pleasantly surprised. I think she was too. I would now like to lift my 30 pound ice glass in a toast to you, but I'm too out of shape to try.

5. Jake went home. This was a high-light for me as I felt that Jake, though kind and gentlemanly, was a tad too cheezerific. My gut tells me that on his way home he helped an old lady cross the street, pulled a child out of a well, and landed his plane on the Hudson. I could be wrong, but I rarely am.

6. I would like to reserve number six to discuss Wes. But I really do not believe that he is worth discussing. And may I just be totally 8th grade right now and add..."also 6 is totally in the number 666 which is like, totally, the sign of Satan. And Wes is - for sure - Satan. And I hate him. And also six rhymes with sticks - and I would totally love to hit Wes over the head with a stick and send him straight to 666, which totally, don't tell my dad I said this, means h-e-double hockey sticks."

7. Thank the Lord for Tivo which allowed Meridith and I to rewind the "Next week on...The Bachelorette" 100 times and sigh deeply in hopes that the person coming back to sweep Jillian off her feet is none other than - ED!

Stay tuned my lovelies, it's just gettin' good.