May 5, 2009

Wish You Were Here.

Because if you were, this is what you would hear...

Remi: Mama, remember the other day when we went to Arby's and you spit on my food?

Me: Uh, no. I don't remember that.

Remi: Well, you did.

Me: Remi, we never go to Arby's and I would never spit on your food.


Remi: You just don't want to remember it.

After dropping off our dogs at the groomers:

Remi: Mama, I want to take Jessie (our dog) to school with me.

Me: Remi, that's silly.

Remi: Why mama? I want to take Jessie to school.

Me: No, Remi.

Remi: Why mama? I want to take Jessie to school with me.

Me: No, Remi. Dogs can't go to school.

Remi: But mama, I really want to take...

Me: Remi! No! That is absurd. You don't take a dog to school. Besides Jessie's at the beauty shop right now getting her hair done.

Remi: Hmmm. That doesn't make sense.

Me: I am off work.

The AG: What does that mean?
Me: It means I'm off work. I've clocked out. My day is done. Watch Jack Bauer and leave me alone. I'm going to bed.

The AG: What if something happens to me.

Me: I don't care if you start coughing up blood I am not coming back out here.

The AG: What if I die?

Me: Please don't. I just vacuumed.

Meridith: Melissa, did you know your mom has walking pneumonia?

Me: She does?

The AG: Are you sure?

Meridith: That's what I heard. Walking pneumonia.

The AG: Are we certain? Because if there was anyone we know - anyone in this entire free world - that was going to get the swine would be that woman.

Meridith: You're right. I'll double check.

Remi is watching me get dressed the other morning. I am putting on my, uh, "shirt"...

Remi: Oohhhh, mama, I see your 'oobies.

Me: Yes, Remi. I know you do.

Remi: See? Right there. Those are your 'oobies.

Me: Yes, Remi, I know they are.

Remi: (Looking closer) Hey mama - did an animal bite you on your 'oobies?


Amy said...

Once again. . .spit my coffee out from laughing this morning! Thanks for the great start!

Cresta said...


Thanks for the fun start to my morning! Of course, now I have to add cleaning my computer screen to my list of tasks today.

A Touch of Country said...

Oh my goodness!@ Never thought to look at them that way....bug bites in the middle! lol!

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

You sure do have your hands full with smart and funny!

Lisa said...

I think we should get rid of Jon & Kate and put you on TV!

Amy said...

Too funny...Laughing out loud at that Remi girl...At our house they are called flowers, and my girls always say that my flowers are SOOOO Big! They come up with he darndest things don't they?!?


Kori said...

HILARIOUS! Thanks for this, this morning.

Anonymous said...

Lol-This is so funny. My 2 year old calls them "boob-ettes".She says"Mama, what happened to YOUR boob-ettes?". Lol-I just say "I don't know, Baby." Kids are so funny at this age.

Melissa said...

I. love. Remi. She is going a force to be reckoned with.....

I don't pray for you enough.

Let's practice the oldie by Michael W. Smith....."Pray for me and I'll pray for you....."

~ Lisa @ AbidingThere~ said...

Hysterical! Thank you!!

Paige said...

Too funny. I love reading your blog, reminds me of my sister and me when we get together.

Lynda said...

lol - I love Remi!

Lacey said...

Remi is better than cake. Seriously. :-)

Rhonda said...

That's funny! I posted a conversation with my five year old today too! lol They make for great blog-fodder don't they?

mommaof4wife2r said...

remi is awesome....gotta love it.

Sue said...

I LOVE reading your blog...makes me laugh and what you write could happen at any of our homes!

Anna See said...

Adorable and fun! I sure enjoyed reading this.

HeathahLee said...

The one about spitting on her food sounds like it could come from my Kiddo's mouth! Thanks for making me laugh!

Melinda Means said...

I just love those moments ... when my son was six or seven we went to a hotel on vacation and he said, "Mom, does this hotel have the HOBO channel?" :) :)


Melinda Means said...

I just love those moments ... when my son was six or seven we went to a hotel on vacation and he said, "Mom, does this hotel have the HOBO channel?" :) :)


Lace said...

So funny! Ha, Oobies. I always call them my "puppies" but I think I just found a new name.