Apr 24, 2009

Thelma, Louise and Granny.

Whenever I come to Lufkin there are a few things I look forward to.

1. Ray's hamburgers: Oh, they are greasy and gooey. My face breaks-out just looking at them.

2. Del Rio Cantina: Some people hate this place. I love it. Any Mexican food restaurant that just leaves melted butter on the table for you to pour over your food is aces in my book.

3. The Library. HHHHHAAAAA. I'm kidding.


3. Doing anything - absolutely anything - with my mom and my Granny.

Now let me state for the record that it's the both of them, together, that makes it so fun. Anyone can spend time with my mom. (Yeah, yeah, yeah - been there, done that.) And anyone can spend time with Granny. (It's entertaining I'll give you that.) But the two of them together? Johnny Carson never had a duo like this on his show.

The only thing that would be even better would be adding my aunt Melba to the mix (I think you'll remember her from this post). Because adding her to the mix is like adding Oreo's to Blue Bell, it just makes it more delicious and a whole lot more fattening. Uh, oh. I'm gonna get in trouble for that last part.

So yesterday I decided to take mom and Granny out for a little afternoon "delight" with my two little ones. They are always making comments like, "Melissa, what do you do all day?" "Melissa, why haven't you put on any make-up?" "Melissa, are you making your husband pick up pizza again?" So I thought I would teach them a lesson. I took them to ride the train at the zoo, play on the jungle gym, and............and here's the clincher........CHIK-FIL-A.

Oh, yeah. That'll teach 'em.

So in order for you to get just half of the entertainment I received yesterday I will now leave you with some tidbits from our day.

(Getting on the train)
Granny: Anet, wrap him in a blanket.
Anet: Mom, it's not even cold.
Granny: Wrap him in a blanket!
Anet: Mom, it's 90 degrees outside.
Granny: It's the wind that gives them earaches. You don't know anything, it's probably why you were so sick these last few years.
Anet: Mom, I had cancer! Not an earache!

Granny: I don't want you to drink after me Melissa, I'm pretty sure I have T.B.

Granny: You know the Yates? We hate them. We've always hated the Yates, haven't we Anet?
Mom: Yep.
(Ten minutes later)
Me: You know I'm going to blog everything y'all are saying, right?
Mom: Like what?
Me: Like Granny saying that y'all hate the Yates.
Granny: Who are the Yates?

Mom: She's spoiled.
Granny: Very spoiled.
Mom: Her momma always spoiled her.
Granny: And her daddy always spoiled her.
Mom: And her momma was crazy.
Granny: And her daddy was crazy.
Mom: Yep, and now her momma's dead and her daddy's dead.
Granny: And she's still spoiled.

Granny: You know he has a talk show now? And absolutely nothing to talk about.

Granny: Melissa, what's wrong with Rocco's eyes? Don't you ever give him anything? Don't you ever give him Visene or even a Kleenex?

Mom: Remi woke me up this morning. It was just like being woken up by a prison warden. She even hit me over the head with a boot.
Granny: Well, I would have already been up and going, so she wouldn't have had to wake me up.
Mom: (Rolling her eyes) Of course you would have.

Mom: Ya know, I wish I'd knocked her out when I had the chance. I wish I had just cleaned her clock. I wish I'da punched her in her nose.
Granny: I'm surprised you didn't.
Mom: Well, I was in the bed with a headache.

Have a good weekend my lovelies.
From me, mom and the Granster.


Melissa said...

Good stuff right there. You can't make this kinda stuff up! I so want to be a part of your family. You sound like my kind.

Carrie said...

Oh my goodness, that's hilarious. :)

Marci said...

oh my...you make me laugh waayyy too hard! thanks :D!

Melissa said...

I can SO identify with this! Same with my mom and "the aunts" which are her sisters. She is the baby and my aunts are 7 and 14 years older, so that makes them, uhm, 67 and whatever 7+ that and 14+ that is. Anyhow, they are absolutely nuts (and can drive me nuts) and I love every stinkin' minute of it!


Lisa said...

You are, hands down, the FUNNIEST person! I didn't think you could top the Comfort Inn story, but you did.

Thank you so much for making me laugh - I love reading your blog.


Lynda said...

You three are a royal hoot!

Jenny said...

I have been reading your blog for a while and love it so much, you are hilarious!!!! (and also very wise!) This post had me laughing till I cried! Thank you for being a blessing in my life!

natalie said...

Hahaha! Definitely laughed out loud at the part where your grandmother says she would've already been awake. Definitely sounds like something my family members would say :)

Sissy said...

I wish my family was this entertaining. Charlie's family gets into it every once in awhile and I do like to sit back and watch.

Desha said...

Wish I could have been sitting one table over observing the chaos! Too funny:)

Kelly said...

You need to submit this as an idea for a sitcom!!

IamSAND said...

This is good stuff!!! I am still drying my eyes from laughing so hard. Thanks for a great laugh!

Lace said...

Oh man, your Granny sounds like mine! CRAZY! Haha! Crazy good, of course.

So, I just found out Bea Arthur passed away. (I'm pretty sure you're my blogging friend who could sit and watch Golden Girls with me all day, right?) They're dropping like flies! When Betty White goes I'm just going to go ahead and start digging my grave!

Sew Bee It said...

"Who are the Yates?"

Oh, I about died! Thanks for sharing

Jennifer T. said...

Um, are you from Lufkin, or do your parents just live there? My mom's whole side of the family is from the hopping Lufkin/Nacogdoches/Redland/Jacksonville metroplex, and my cousin is the Chief of Police in Lufkin. Actually, I think he's my grandpa's cousin, but same difference, right? We all share the same blood. It's a small world after all!

Thanks for commenting on my blog tonight! I will keep Meridith in mind if I hear of openings. Literally, everyone and their dog (okay, maybe not literally) seems to be looking for a teaching job in Dallas/Fort Worth area. There should be more positions coming available this summer.