Aug 27, 2008

Sex and The City: The Menopausal Years

Okay, let me just go on record as saying, I have never seen one episode of Sex And The City. (In fact, is it Sex IN The City or Sex AND The City? Whatever.) Not one.

Because once this girl, who shall remain nameless, besides you wouldn't know her anyway, was all, "Uh, Melissa, you tottaaalllly have to watch Sex and the City. I mean, seriously. You're like the only person alive who doesn't watch it. Wake up and smell the Jimmy Choo's."

It really wasn't that hateful, but it was just catty enough that I made up my mind right then and there to never watch a single episode. Not even when TBS started to run the edited versions every night at 10. I have to change the channel. Even if there is nothing else on. Have to. I see that girl in my mind. And. must. change. channel.

And I'm calling her "catty?"

But I haven't lived under a rock - so I know the movie came out this summer. And I even know their names are Carrie, Samantha, Robin and Deedee. Right?

Until now.

Enter: Melissa, Meridith, Melba and Annette.




I like to call it Sex and the Country, but that sounds crude. So I'm goin' with Sex And the City: The Menopausal Years. Why Menopausal? Well, when your aunt takes an automatic fan into the theatre so she can blow herself throughout the movie, well, you know you're in for one wild night.

Granted Meridith and I aren't menopausal. But we were P.M.Sy, so I reckon that to be "same thing - different generation."

Annette and I (that's my mom and I - but I'm stickin' with first names cuz it sounds waaayyy cooler. I mean with names like "Annette" and "Melba" - what can be cooler than that?) strolled up to pick up Meridith and Melba (that's Meridith and her mom - but again, let's stick with names not relation) round about 7PM. We chose to go to the early showing so that we wouldn't get in to late since I needed to do a load of wash and Melba had to throw the paper route.

Soooooo Sex and the City.

We then pull up to the Cinemark 12 to see - what else - Momma Mia. Because what does Carrie and her Monola Blahnik's have on Pierce Brosnan trying, desperately, to sing?

I wouldn't give the movie 4 stars or anything, but I highly suggest you see it with a group of women singers. There's nothing like singing The Winner Takes It All in 4-part harmony. Which we did. And loudly. We sounded like the First Baptist Women's Choir cuttin' loose in there. At one point we threw in some hand motions and my aunt Melba even "took over the low alto," her words not mine.

Let's see Samantha and DeeDee try their hand at that.

I suppose my favorite part of the movie had nothing to do with Meryl or Pierce or even Colin Firth...but the fact that Melba got her finger caught in her battery powered fan and it sliced part of her nail. That was worth the price of admission. I assure you.

Afterwards we went for drinks. Like they do on the show. Only they order Cosmo's and we ordered Milkshakes. And they worry about what alcohol is doing to their thighs, and we, clearly, don't care.

I had a great time, I have to say.
Yes, we were home by 10:14 PM.
And yes, we were giddy on dairy. (Which we thoroughly discussed since Melba has been wheezing lately in her chest brought on after immediate consumption of all dairy products, which we all advised her to stay off considering all the trouble she's already having with her glaucoma and high blood pressure. Which Annette fully understands due to some recent meds she's been put on; not to mention her trouble with liver spots all of a sudden.)

Did someone say "PAR-TAY???"

But there's nothing like a wild and crazy girls night with four women you love. Who can take 4-part harmony set to 80's disco music and make even the Sex and The City girls blush.

25 comments:

Tabi said...

Seriously, tears from laughter pouring down my face! You are so funny! Tell your aunt to get one of those fancy do fans that even spray the mist!! Haha...how exactly do you slice your finger with those fans?!?

Sara L said...

Oh my goodness - I almost choked on my pancakes - seriously almost went up my nose. Hilarious! PS - I love that you post early in the morning!

Colleen said...

One of your best posts! I left you a present on my blog!

My2Gs said...

Ya'll would be so much fun to hang out with!!!
~Lacie

Rhonda said...

Okay, I so want to come out with you guys sometime!

Amy said...

Sounds like F.U.N.
I love your aunt, "We're not plus size-but I DID bring my fan!"
Keep the great posts coming! You are too stinkin' funny!

Lauren W said...

Hahahaha! I love that! Too funny :) It looks like y'all had a lot of fun.

Shelley said...

It sounds like you guys had a blast. Especially the singing part. My friend says that I know all the lyrics to the songs from Abba and beyond. I would love to spend some quality time with my mom like that.
You go girl.....

Sissy said...

You seriously do have funny and odd things happen to you. I did see Momma Mia and I loved it. Now, I don't sing, but I did perform some dance moves at home for the hubby. He tried not to laugh.

Ashley said...

Haha! Keep it coming girl!

Rae said...

Do NOT go see the Sex in the City movie. You'll thank me later. Seriously.

tripmom827 said...

Oh wow! Diet Coke out the nose with Aunt Melba taking the low alto. You are hilarious!

Melissa said...

We sooooo need to live closer to each other. Although, that might be a very bad thing. We could get in a lot of trouble!!!

Leighann said...

Melissa, you've done it again. I was having a down day (you can visit my blog to find out why, and trust me, you'll appreciate it)and came to get me a Melissa fix. And now I'm all happy and stuff. Your video reminds me of the ambience of my best friend's NC mountain hometown, complete with packed parking lots and long lines. :) Thanks girl. I needed you today.

-Bridget said...

This is so cute! I love your version way better than the snooty original!

Laura said...

I just love hearing y'all talk. I've missed southern accents so much. But, we've settled in Cherokee County, Georgia, so I'll be hearing a lot more of them from now on! Oh, and I do so love your humor!

PS We're having fried catfish for dinner tonight, wanna come over?

Dirtbikes and Divas said...

I thought I was the only one who hadn't seen that movie......I mean, I'm a stay-home mom of 4, what could those girls possibly show me that isn't goin' on here! :) Your video had me in stitches...did you ever think your evening would consist of being home by 10:00 so that you could shower from your "sweaty" night out with 3 other menopausal/premenstural woman? Love your blog!!

Julie said...

You're KILLING ME!! I have never laughed so hard!

Heather W said...

You are too funny!!!! Now if I had gone we would have brought not only the fan but our own food and drinks. I also carry a small flashlight in my purse in case I drop something. It pays to be prepared!!!!

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

You are so funny. I live in East Texas. My town is bigger than Lufkin, but ohh, I do relate. So funny.

Blissful Nikki said...

lol! I cant stop laughing...you girls are too funny!

Lynda said...

I went with a group of singing gals to see Mama Mia, too - big fun was had by all!

Terrie said...

Did someone say FUN-NAY?

You definitely made my day with your video. LOL

Rhea said...

Sounds like a fun night out! You should seriously see Sex and the City though, it's hilarious. And fun.

The Nice One said...

Oh my gosh, that was fantastic! So funny!!!!