My Momma Met My Daddy On The T.V.

I don't know why I used that title but as I watching The Bachelor: After The Final Rose tonight, and seething through my teeth, I thought it up in my head and giggled at it.

And after 108 hours of Jason Mesnick, I needed a good giggle.

I've never been one for watercooloer talk...(oh, who am I kidding? I would put a watercooler up in my living room if it meant you all would come by and talk to me about the latest scoop.)...but this season of The Bachelor has got me all fernickdadiggled. (I don't know, but Rose used it once on episode 208 of The Golden Girls "All Bets Are Off". Must be a St. Olaf thing.)

I am going to need you all to leave me and Meridith a comment about your thoughts because we are really wanting to discuss this with the AG and Bubba and well, they just don't seem to care very much. I spent twelve hours telling the AG every last detail and the only thing he said was, "So you're saying he picked the girl with the bangs or the other one?"

What??

They both had bangs!!! Sorta. But that is so not the point. Although I would like to state for the record that the man knows me well enough to know that I can't really trust a woman unless she has some good "bang-age", so suffice it to say I certainly don't devote an entire season of television with her no-banged self - unless they are stately and side swept like Melissa or Jillian. Thank you.

And I would also like to say to Molly, "girl, you do not know how to work a good bang. Puh-leeze, girlfriend."

But Jason Mesnick, Mr. Dapper, Mr. Daddy 2009, Mr. All-I-Want-Is-To-Love-And-Be-Loved-In-Return, went and did the unthinkable. Dumped a woman on national television.

Now Jason. You can do a lot of things.

You can kiss several women and tell them all that you'll call 'em.

You can look one woman in the eye while goosin' another.

You can smile for the camera and you can lie for the camera.

You can drink 19 bottles of wine a night.

You can even lose the ability to ever father another child after spending that much time in a hot tub.

But you cannot - I repeat, CAN NOT - dump a TEXAS GIRL ON T.V.

Now that's not to say that you can dump a Ohioan (is that a word) or a Georgian or even a Arizonian, it just means that none of them will call their brother's drinkin' buddies and have them burn your house down at night.

A Texas girl will.

As she should.

Or at least this one should.

So Melissa! Take heart! Your heart will not be broken for long. For you, my dear, may have been dumped on national television but I betcha I know what will make it allllllll better.

It might not be a tux. But there's nothing like a man in uniform.

Oh, and he doesn't drink wine.

He once got a rash in a hot tub.

And he'll be glad to take you out just as soon as he gets back from burning down someones home.

That's a Texas man, for ya.