Jan 7, 2009

The Curious Case of Bejamin Nuttin'

Dear Carmike Cinema Movie Manager,
I want my $7 back.

Dear Chronus, mythological god of time,
I want my 3 hours back.

For the record...I didn't like it.

Okay, that's not fair. I did sneak in a 8 count chicken nugget from Chik-fil-A in my purse. And I did get that greasy non-butter butter poured all over my popcorn. And I did get one gully washer size Diet Coke to wash it all down with. And I really loved that aspect of the movie. So I don't suppose the 12 hour feature film was a total waste of time.

But you know that a movie has totally lost your interest when you take out your cell phone in the middle of it and text your husband; and this is coming from the woman for whom it takes between 12 to 15 minutes to type out one word. No kidding, I texted him the sentence, "Come rescue me, I'm dying here." And it took me an hour and a half.

He told me just to leave, but I was with a girlfriend and didn't want to hurt her feelings. And also, she was holding my nuggets hostage if I didn't stick it out. So she won, needless to say.

But finally, 3/4 of the way through, I gave up. I gathered my purse, stood up and proclaimed, "That's it! I'm out. I am so depressed I want to run myself over. And I came to see Brad Pitt look like, well, Brad Pitt. And for the last hour he has looked just like the little old man who put the moves on my Granny the last time she went to her senior citizen game night! See ya!"




But then about ten steps from the bottom I look up at that giant screen and see that finally - FINALLY - he had reached this age.



And figured I might as well stick it out.

What? I had already spent money on the nuggets.

*Did you see it? What did you think? Please note: If you liked it, I plan on emailing you and ridiculing you for hours.

17 comments:

Melissa said...

I'm with you on this one girlfriend. We went to see it too, only for the Brad Pitt reason and man oh man was it weird! I didn't even realize it was so long until we got out and it was 8:15 and we still had not eaten supper. We did not sneak extra food into the theater and had not purchased those delicious snacks because we knew we were going to eat afterwards. But man oh man did we want some supper later.

I knew we should have gone to see 7 lbs. It's always a toss up between Will Smith and Brad Pitt.

O:)
Melissa

Rhonda said...

My girlfriend saw this and loved it! I'm more a rental or dollar theatre gal, because I'm cheap. So now I know that is a sure rental, if anything. Thanks for the review!

Also, my same girlfriend met us for a movie one time, and we were late, but hungry, so in we flew to this packed theatre, the lights were already out, and movie on, and immediately I opened up my purse and started handing out Wendy's burgers, fries and drinks! Lynn almost had heart failure!! lol It was priceless!

Outnumbered2to1 said...

The premise of the movie seems so weird to me. Thanks for the review, I'll probably skip it. No, I'm totally going to skip it. Hope Brad doesn't read your blog ;)

Amy said...

Oh no! I wanted to see it, thinking it would be a bittersweet romance. Thanks for the warning!! I should have known - if Oprah liked it, I shouldn't go.

If old man Brad is burned into your brain, you could probably find the Brad scene from Thelma and Louise on youtube to replace it!

Amy said...

I haven't seen it (and for sure won't now...I'm taking your word) I can. not. stand. Brad Pitt. Sorry!

Tina said...

I enjoy your blog (linked to it from Tyanne's). You're writing is so humorous. I agree totally on the movie. They spent way too much time on him being "old". I was like, "okay, I get it...now let's move forward with the plot please!" Good story, but seriously could have been condensed. I blogged about it and told my friends that if they want to see it, Netflix it.

Karen said...

Hmmmm .. I've been thinking of going to see it as it got great reviews from our local film critics. Maybe I'll wait till it comes out on DVD..

At our local movie theaters, you can take in stuff from *outside* to eat. Apparently there was a lawsuit that challenged the right of the movie theaters to refuse to allow people to bring in snacks. Taylor and I amrched in recently, carrying a sub sandwich each and nobody batted and eyelid..

Desha said...

I am so dissapointed as I REALLY wanted to see it, but my little sister said the same thing so i will proba bly wait until it is on pay-per-view. With three kids under 3, we don't get out much. I definately don't want to waste one of our precious date nights on a stupid movie! Then again, 3 hours alone with no one yelling "mooooom, I need to go poooooottttyyyy!" sounds like bliss.....

Connie said...

I agree with Amy- If Oprah liked, I probably won't. Not a Brad fan anyways ever since he became a part of the Brangelina show.
Thanks for the review. I will skip it.

Lynda said...

Chik-Fil-A is the best part!

Lynda said...

Chik-Fil-A is the best part!

Does Anybody Hear Me said...

I haven't seen this movie...and I guess I won't. Brad Pitt hasn't been the same since Legends of the Fall. Oh so hot in that one!

I did see Twilight, though. I realize I am in the minority, but I really didn't 'get' what was so great about it. Especially the thought that a 17 year old boy is 'hot'.

Aja Jenise said...

The preview alone seemed as though watching paint dry!! I would rather go to the dollar theater and see Twilight seven times over. Hey... dont go see Bedtime Stories either.

Melissa said...

Ok, as long as we are on other movies, don't take your little kids to see Marley and Me. IT IS NOT A KID MOVIE!!! No matter what the commercials tell you....I was downright embarrassed in front of my 4 y/o and 7 y/o!!! I should have gotten up and left, but I kept hoping it would get better.

O:)
Melissa

Karen said...

NO Marley and Me was NOT a kids movie!! My mom wanted to go as a family on Xmas day, but thankfully my Dad and Husband had the stomach virus so we didnt go (that didnt come out quite right...). Anyway, I wailed thru the last 30 minutes.....

Anita J. said...

Okay Lissa--don't ban me from the blog or nothin', but I just don't find Brad Pitt attractive. At all. I can see how he might be appealing to other women, but for me? Nothing. My friends think I'm crazy and for a long time my husband thought I was lying to save his feelings, but it's the truth. Go figure.

Risa said...

I really liked the movie but it was WAY too long. Too long for him being old too. I'd liked to see more of him in the Keys or on that motorcycle ;-) (I was glad I waited for those scenes). I had popcorn to tide me over between meals since I think it was morning when we got out there. They should have offered intermission or something.