Dec 22, 2008

Makin' Memories.

Oh, the traditions. The many, many traditions. You all are a Christmas Traditioning bunch of folks, I have to say. Whodathunkit?

Congratulations to the 14,000 of you who buy new pajama's and open them up on Christmas Eve night. And to the 1,100 who bake cakes on Christmas for Jesus. As I was reading all of the different suggestions I kept hearing these two in particular over and over. And please note, I never once said, "Well, I don't want to do anything that everyone else is doing." Nope. I actually said, "Where the heck have I been all these years? How come I didn't know about these things? And why did my parents never buy me any pj's?"

But ya know? I have a lot of bad memories from my childhood so I don't really want to get started on that. Like the time my dad wrapped my bra around the tree...that story is still deeply embedded in my psyche and so my therapist and I don't feel it best to explore that right now.

Oh, kid.

About the therapist.

NOT about the bra.

I thought Lynda's idea of not allowing the kids out of the bed until they heard the Christmas music playing was too cute! My best friend Nikki loved that idea too and now thinks she wants to try it. But she has seven kids and personally, I fear a trampling could easily happen and we'd find her broken body in a heap at the foot of her stairs. She'd just be standing there dumbstruck thinking, "Oh, look how sweet they all look coming down the stairs in their new pj's. Wait, they're not stopping! They're gaining speed! Why are they crushing me?" Ugly.

Sheri goes caroling - which I AM ALLLLLL FOR! Unfortunately, caroling by yourself appears strange to some folks and they refuse to open their doors. Or I suppose I could take Remi with me - but there's nothing ruder than knocking on someones door and saying, "Could y'all hold her and take her potty while I sing out here in your yard?" I tried it once. Didn't work. But if any of you that live near me are up for a little caroling - call me.

Now Kat's family always sung Christmas carols at midnight. Again, Nikki wants to try this. But I'm not sure singing Silent Night with seven children is a possibility. More power to her if she can make it happen, but I'm not betting on it. But Kat's family always did the whole carol thing and then lit candles. But that's all I'm going to say about that because Kat scrapbooks and so I think she knows I'm mad at her.

So many of you had such precious ideas. And it warms me to think of you and your family carrying these traditions on each year. Seriously, I'm warm right now. Almost toasty.

But here's what the AG and I have decided to do. Wish us luck.

Christmas Eve:

5PM: Start dinner. Something fun! And festive!

6PM: With dinner cooking in the oven, have Remi help mommy make those little pretzel/Rolo/M&M thingies.

6:15: Spank Remi. (It's inevitable)

6:30: Eat dinner. Smile! Make mommy feel like it's wonderful!

7:00: Sing a carol.

7:10: Fight with the AG in the closet, so the kids can't hear, as to why he refuses to sing the carols along with me.

8:00: Start a movie. White Christmas, maybe?

8:30: Spank Remi when she screams for Kung Fu Panda for the 108th time. (It's inevitable)

9:00: Open up one gift - NEW PJ'S!

9:30: Go in the room and slam the door because the AG bought Ma small when he
KNOWS she doesn't wear a small!

10:00: Put Remi in hers.

10:10: Change Remi out of hers when she spills apple juice all down the front and screams, "I'm WETTTT!! It's yucky! But it's not teetee...I promise!"

10:15: Put Rocco in his.

10:30: Change Rocco out of his when poo come out the sides of it.

11:00: Put the kids to bed, all while singing carols and smiling. Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!

11:30: Sit on the couch and sulk because the AG is wearing brand new pj's and I'm in my old jogging pants because, again, I DON'T WEAR A SMALL!

12:00: Suddenly remember Santa needs cookies.

12:01: Decide I don't care, Santa can starve.

12:03: Go to bed.

Christmas Day

4:05 AM: Remi wakes up. Mommy is mad. Daddy is in a coma. And Rocco is screaming.

5:00: Remi comes down stairs to see what Santa left.

6:00: Stick in the breakfast Mommy spent 8 days getting prepared for.

7:00: Serve a toaster strudel when no one will eat Mommy's fancy breakfast.

9:00: Lay in a comatose like state on couch.

noon: Eat a nice, festive, holiday lunch. Wish secretly that it was Mexican food.

2 PM: Put the kids down for naps. Back to comatose state.

4:00: Try once more to sing carols. Family pays absolutely no attention to me and I give up by flipping channels.

6:00: Wonder why Santa brought 2 truckloads of toys to our house and the only thing she wants is, once again, Kung Fu Freakin' Panda.

7:00: Begin to think of what New Years day traditions we can begin.

See y'all? It will be wonderful. I feel sure of it. We've got sooooo much planned. And if we can fit it in between temper tantrums and Rice cereal spit-up then we are sure to make a memory.

I can't wait.

Thanks for your help. And my lovelies, wish me luck.


Sheri said...

New Year's Traditions: Mom and Dad would move all the clocks up by 2-3 hours, so we could "celebrate" New Years but still be in bed at a reasonable hour. It was YEARS before we figured it out! Merry Christmas to you!

Melissa said...

We live kinda close and would love to carol, I could probably even talk one or two of my girls into coming too, if it isn't too cold. SHombre is out of all that fun, he'd probably rather stick with the little ones with AG, no matter what that may bring. I just don't get it! We could be up for Tues or call me, I'm in the directory!


Rhonda said...

Oh, that is too funny!!!

Finding Normal said...

That is hilarious. And so true. It's not Christmas until someone yells and someone else cries.

Anonymous said...

Ok I am late but this is our fav. Sam is 9 and still ask to do it. We make gingerbread men muffins. Not cookies, that is just gross. Muffins you can put butter one. But here is the fun part. After they go in the oven mysteriously one always gets away. When Sam was young it was easy to just toss one out and then call him in to see that it was gone. But now that he is older and sits in front of the oven it is harder to plan... Last year Dave distracted him and I ran one over to the neighbors. They called Sam on the phone and said that one had ran over to their house. It was hysterical. Having an 8 yr. old run with the phone across the street yelling "hold him til I get there Ms. Janet"
Merry Christmas, Love, Randi

Shelley said...


I so stinking love your family. It sounds just like what will happen around here. Mom's are soooo under appreciated when it comes to stuff like traditions.
But, once again, the madness will be over in three days and at least we will have tried out best to instill some joy into the lives of those little creatures that God has entrusted us with and they will have a good time, even if I have to beat it into them.

Melissa said...

Sounds eerily familiar to a house in Florida that you need to come visit. Blessed time of year. What's the reason for this season again? I need reminding.

Sissy said...

You make me laugh almost every morning! Such a wit you have!

Oh, yeah, my husband told my mom I wanted a Victoria's Secret gift card for christmas....what was he thinking? They do not sell "big girl" sizes! Talk about a downer of a gift.

Lynda said...

One of my bosses said this is how he bought presents for his wife: He'd do to the most expensive store in town (Neiman's/Lord & Taylor, etc...) and find a beautiful outfit on a mannequin. He'd ask the saleslady to find him that same outfit in a size 2 and have it gift wrapped. He knew it was too small for his wife, but when she opened it, he'd say something like, "You mean you don't wear a 2???" So, when she takes it back, she sees he really spent some serious money (brownie points!) and thinks of her as tiny (more brownie points!). She then chooses something else she really wants and everybody is happy. Maybe AG wants you to go get your own PJs??

Kat said...

Oooh, I was wondering if you'd hold that against me! Isn't this supposed to be a charitable time of year? After all- "Hate the game, not the player..."

Hahaha, you know I love ya and your fabulous blog! Besides, we have a passion for the vocal arts in common, so we can bridge the gap, right? =) (As long as I don't also mention that I sew and love to go camping...)

I was looking over the traditions mentioned and I have to say that the hubby and I are going to start the PJ thing with our family and I am hoping to convince my girlfriends to go TACKY HONKING and REINDEER HUMPING!

Merry Christmas!

Leslee said...

I always watch the same coupla movies as we get closer to Christmas... Edward Scissorhands, Elf, etc. I added a new one this year you should check out... The Bishop's Wife, starring Cary Grant. IT WAS WONDERFUL!

Kacey said...

My daughter walked in and wants to know why I'm laughing so hard.

I just love reading your blog! Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

Well, if you'd rather have Mexican for Christmas dinner instead of the traditional festive stuff, GO FOR IT! I mean, you are starting your own traditions, right? Why not festive Mexican? That's one reason we always have lasagna on Christmas Eve. We love it, I can make it ahead, it doesn't require fifteen million side dishes, it looks yummy on the table. I think I could easily handle a quesadilla on Christmas Day. You could even put in red and green bell peppers to make it more Christmasy. Hmmm, maybe we'll start a new Christmas Day tradition, I'm cravin' the cheddar. . .

Don't you sometimes wonder if after that fiasco in A Christmas Story, they didn't decide to eat out Chinese every Christmas after that?


Anita J. said...

Oh Melissa I have to tell you what happened to my friend JuJu two years ago. She was a single mother, unable to work due to a spinal cord injury. She had to put a lot of effort into getting her son's Christmas together (let's say they moved and didn't have time to change their address with Santa).

Christmas morning her seven year old son woke her up saying, "Mama! Mama! Wake up! It's Christmas and Santa brought me everything I wanted!" He had gotten up before her and opened all of his presents alone.

Trish said...

I seriously want to be there, except I'm not sure i'll sing along either.

I will however eat Mexican with you.

Happy Tradition making!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Please post pics!
And have a great Holiday.

Rhea said...

I'd never heard of the new PJs or the cake on Christmas day. wow.

Tonya said...

I laughed when I read this the first time. Then I read it out loud to my husband and laughed until I cried. (He humored me and laughed too.) It is so true that even if we plan on making memories, kids will be kids, and all bets are off about just what will happen. Ours are 5, 4, and 3 and will likely prefer Eggo waffles to any fancy breakfast I am hoping to prepare. Looking forward to Christmas day, nonetheless, and can't wait to read your blog and find out how it goes at your house!

Merry Christmas!