Dec 18, 2008

And Starring As Christ the Lord: Carrot Top.

Oh, please keep the Christmas traditions coming. I have read each and every one and cannot wait to tell you all what I came up with. If you haven't left me a comment with your favorite tradition, do so now! You all are really giving me some great ideas.

I would now like tell the story of how the little Lord Jesus (star of the song, "What Child Is This" and "Away In a Manger") came to be played by your favorite comedian and mine, Carrot Top.

Remi has recently come across 87,000 color pages of the nativity. I don't know where she's getting them. I suppose they're passing these things out in Sunday School; what are they thinking? As if I have nothing better to do than teach about Christmas at Christmastime. Hmph!

After purchasing a new box of colors for Remi (since most were lost in the Momma-I-Ate-My-Colors Debacle of '08) she sat down yesterday at the counter to begin her marathon color fest.

At first I wasn't worried. Sure, she seemed determined in her endeavors. I would offer up other colors but she was pretty certain that everyone at the manger scene was black. And I was fine with that. Anythings possible. I wasn't there, so what do I know. But Jesus was not once - not twice - not even three times - but was every time stricken with the most horrible orange hair you've ever seen.

I offered up blond, because nothing says "It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas" like a baby with surfer blond hair.

I offered brown. Certainly because brown is a pretty typical hair color, but also because it was the only one that the end of it hadn't been bitten off. (She's smart. She really is. Don't let her eating crayolas distract you from that.)

I even offered black. Because there is nothing cuter than a big, fat baby with a full head of coal black hair. And also because it seemed to go along with the overall "color scheme" she was going with.

I even offered her a deep auburn. Which really doesn't exist. Unless you blend brown and red together. But the red was in her mouth. Again.

But nope. Jesus was a carrot top. Of this, she was sure.

And who was I to argue? My hair has been three different colors in the last month, so...

Oh, what I would do to have a picture of hers to show off. But she spit up a little crayola on it. Or maybe two crayolas. Cuz it looked like a little deep auburn to me.

9 comments:

Teri from Indiana said...

Hey, he's had purple hair here because my little girl gave every one and thing purple hair for about a year. Now her brother colors everything red. Because Lightening McQueen is red. So in that train of thought I guess Remi is right.......Jesus is a redhead. lol What a precious little girl you have.

Teri from Indiana said...

Hey, he's had purple hair here because my little girl gave every one and thing purple hair for about a year. Now her brother colors everything red. Because Lightening McQueen is red. So in that train of thought I guess Remi is right.......Jesus is a redhead. lol What a precious little girl you have.

Lacey in the Sky said...

Oh man, I'm embarrassed to tell you what my friend's and I do at Christmastime... you'll either love it, or be completely offended. Oh well- here goes! I have had the same group of lovely, wonderful girlfriends for about 8-9 years now. Each Christmas when everyone is in town, we go out to a nice restaurant for Christmas dinner, exchange gifts, catch up on life, drink and toast to one another... and then we hop in the car, turn on bad Christmas music, sing at the top of our lungs... and go TACKY HONKING!(Directions on how to Tacky Honk: 1. Drive around until you find a ridiculously tacky decorated house 2. Stop in front of said house 3. Honk in a very obnoxious manner 4. Drive away) Genius, I know. Once the excitement from this has worn off... we go Reindeer Humping.(This is shameful)NO, we don't go hump people's wooden and plastic reindeer. We set up their reindeer to look like they're humping. Ughhh, I'm embarrassed... but IT'S TRADITION!

Amy said...

I cant wait to here what Christmas traditions were your favorites! I forgot one. This one is very common but..we always got a new ornament every year. It seemed silly at the time sort-of but now I look back and am glad we did. I love having a fancy Christmas tree but to me its all for the kids and if they want Pooh ornaments then by all means, let them have it! Plus, when we became adults my mom gave us all of OUR ornaments.

Rhonda said...

Oh. My. Goodness.

I so love your daughter. Please rest assured that I used to eat crayolas too, and play-doh, and snow, and I turned out just fine too. And besides, with the different colour combinations, it makes bowel movements far more interesting. Not that you need any help in that direction, mind you....

Rhonda said...

Oh, and Lacy, can I be your friend? That sounds like a blast!!!

Soliloquy said...

I LOVE your style.

But I'm still mad at the AG for not bringing you to the ATL to meet me.

Just passed an award to you. Do'nt know if you like to play along with these or not. Either way is fine with me, but I wanted my readers to know about my favorite blogs.

http://www.shejusthadtosayit.com/2008/12/18/delinquent-bling/

Aja Jenise said...

Girl... I am bummed!! You had me going there... I was waiting to see Carrot Top!! I am a HUGE HUGE fan of Carrot Top... crap I forgot his real name... its been so long. Man he got me through high school... laughing at him was all I could do to keep from slitting my wrists... I hated high school... it was all drama and no substance.

Anyhow... love love love me some Carrot Top... BUT now that Remi feels like extended family (for as often as I read your blog... uh daily) I was looking forward to her picture even more than Carrot Top!! grrr... just to see the scene of the crayola debacle... tickles me just to think... gosh you are a gifted writer! Are you this entertaining in person?! No bother... I can get my fix here daily...

Aja Jenise said...

OH OH traditions... making Xmas candies for sure!! Like chocolate clusters, almond bark, toffee, chocolate covered pretzels, giridelli(sp?) brownies, peanut butter fudge, haystacks, and... uh well these dont have a name... but put a thick layer of peanut butter in between two townhouse crackers then dip in white chocolate and layer with sprinkles. Anyhow... we make these and give to friends and family... and sometimes we use them to drop off in place of caroling... cause nothing is worse than hearing me sing on your porch... so I'll just keep my mouth shut and give you good food.