A Country Fried Conundrum

So Meridith and I are hosting Thanksgiving this year at my house.

I say “hosting” as if there are 25 people coming who we are really trying to impress with our pomegranate tea and homemade pine cone centerpieces.

I say “hosting” as if I know what in the heck I’m actually doing and I do it well and I do it all while wearing a dress and heals and listening to Enya in the background.

I say “hosting” as if I have ever listened to one word Martha Stewart has ever spoken. I have not.


No, when I say “hosting” what I’m really saying is this…Meridith and I are fixing the meal for Thanksgiving for our parents and we’ve decided that both of our dad’s better update their wills because we don’t plan on fixing anything that won’t stop a heart dead in its tracks.


See? That’s what I mean by “hosting.”


Yes, gone are the days of turkey and dressing, ham and sweet potatoes. What is this, an episode of “Little House?” Seriously, folks. Meridith and I are today’s modern woman. We don’t cook anything we don’t fry and we don’t serve anything that doesn’t come with add-in ideas on the back of the box. And ooohhhhh, it’s gonna be good – ya wanna know what we’re calling it?


A Country Fried Thanksgiving.


Doesn’t that just make you wanna come over and eat with us? You know it does.


It was really tricky how we decided the menu. Let me explain, it went like this, we went around the table and asked the AG and Brandon (Meridith’s brother, therefore, my cousin) and Remi what sounded good. What was it they just had to have on their Thanksgiving table? And then, if we liked said food we added it to the list – whether it even went together or not. But if we didn’t like what they suggested we just rolled our eyes and skipped right over them.

So for instance, when Brandon said he wanted homemade mashed potatoes and gravy we added it to the list.


When the AG said he wanted green bean casserole, we rolled our eyes and said “why do we even continue to address you?”


When Remi said she wanted Chex Mix – Chex Mix was added to the list.


See how that works?


Brandon wants corn casserole? Sounds good to us.


The AG again asked for something green. We ask him to leave the table and go choke on something fattening.

Remi wants Skittles? Skittles it is.

It’s an easy process. Unless you’re the AG.


So it’s a Country Fried Thanksgiving, complete with chicken fried steak and fried chicken tenders. See how the words “fried” and “chicken” were in both of those items? HEAVEN!

See how the words “steamed,” “grilled,” “sauteed” or “Splenda” was not used? GENIUS!

But I'll be honest, with the exception of the two types of meat (chicken fried steak and chicken tenders) we got nothin'. And this is where you come in. We need your country fried recipes. Your best ones. Your most delicious. Your most deadly.


Just go over there to that Email Me button and click on it, then send me your Granny Helen's favorite side dish or appetizer recipe. (Meridith asks that you make sure it includes butter, sour cream and/or bacon. We're religious. So it's important we eat healthy.)

Nah, it doesn't matter what it has in it - just send it on. If we choose your recipe to serve on our Thanksgiving day then we will take a picture of it, we will get first taste responses from our families (that should be good for a few laughs) and you'll get something for your trouble.


Want to know what you get? ME TOO! I have no idea at the present, but it'll be grand. You can count on it.

So send 'em on, my lovelies. And remember, it needs to be country, and sinful, and rich and fattening and utterly delicious. It can be any color and any consistency. But the calorie count has to be pretty hefty, I'm not gonna lie. Or it's a waste of our time, okay?

Don't waste our time on Thanksgiving, that's just mean.

Yeah! This will be fun!