Oct 21, 2008

Yo Mamma!

Today is my mom's birthday. What to do...what to do.

It's gotta be BIG! Because let's face it, the woman is turning 56, and well, there won't be that many more years to celebrate. Know what I'm sayin'?

So this might call for one of those Edible Arrangements.

An Edible Arrangement? Seriously? Those things are cruel. You get this big box and are thinking that finally! A Honey Baked Ham. God heard me! But no. It's fruit. *By the way...don't ever send me an Edible Arrangement. Not that you would ever have reason to send me anything, but if you did, do not send me fruit on a stick. It will not be appreciated and in fact, there's a good chance I will just tell the delivery man to hightail it on over to "old man's" house across the street. Because I have a feeling if anybody would appreciate fruit on a stick, it's "old man."

Or flowers. I know she loves flowers.

But the only time I ever sent my mom flowers was when I was a freshman in college. (And I would just like to go on record as saying that the rest of this story is what happens when a mom raises a daughter to "talk...to share...to open up".) So I called her my freshman year in college just to tell her all the details about my first make-out session with the AG. My dad told me she cried herself to sleep. So I sent her flowers to ultimately erase the horrific visions she had been battling. Apparently, flowers do not always help.

So instead of ham, fruit, flowers, or graphic memories I give her this...

Things That Are Special About My Mom On This Her Birthday:
by me and the Attorney General and Meridith,
since we are all sitting around talking about her anyway.

1. Her chocolate chip cookies. Because the dough is perfect and she always let me lick the beaters. Plus, they just taste the best. - Meridith

2. Her unique ability to forget the things she chooses not to remember. - Melissa and Meridith

3. The fact that she has been successful at dodging any form of yard work for the last 41 years. - The AG

4. The way she will end every phone conversation we have with the words, "I gotta go." But when I try to end a phone conversation with the words, "I gotta go," she actually says "no you don't" and continues talking. - Melissa

5. The way she tells stories on her own mother that she thinks are hilarious. And little does she know she is turning into her mother a little more, every. single. day. - Melissa, The AG and Meridith

6. Whenever you enter her home, even if it's the very first time you've ever been there, you feel like you grew up there. - Meridith

7. Her abnormal passion for wedding punch. - Melissa and Meridith

8. She loves her a good moo-moo. - The AG

9. She's a GREAT cook! - Melissa

10. To this day if you ask any of my Golden Girls who talked to them about sex, they will inevitably say, "your mom!" - Melissa

11. She loves me. No, I mean it. The woman is wild about me. - The AG

12. She's my best friend. - Melissa


ugagirl30 said...

My mom's birthday was two days ago, and today is my sister's. That was a very nice tribute to your mom. I am positive she will love it.

Tabi said...

What a sweet thing to do!! I bet she is going to love this!!

Shelley said...

I know, happy birthday mom.
May she have many more.

Lynda said...

Happy B'Day to your mom!

Denise said...

This was so great...Im sure whe will love it. Happy Birthday to your mom!

Amy said...

Happy Birthday (if you are reading the comments)

Tracy P. said...

Happy birthday Melissa's mom! What? 56? She's just barely gettin' goin'!

Kristan said...

Hilarious and so meaningful all in one swoop!! I love reading your posts!!

Anonymous said...

you are so good at putting the right twists onto posts! Funny and thoughtful all at the same time! Love it!

christine said...

So sweet. Hope your mother enjoys her day.

Adelaine said...

Very sweet - I bet she will love it!

Oh and tag!

Adelaine said...

Very sweet - I bet she will love it!

Oh and tag!

Trish said...

ahhh, so sweet. Happy birthday Melissa's Mom.

And obviously Meredith has never had MY chocolate chip cookies.....


Rhonda said...

Oh, I so love number 6! Well said.

Happy Birthday to your Mom!! And, hey, her and I are both celebrating birthdays today. I don't think I've got fruit on a stick coming, but my four year old tells me that she wants to buy me flowers after school today!

I so love little people.

And your mom. She sounds so awesome!

Breanne said...

Happy Birthday to your Mom! That was so sweet.

I have to say I love getting the edible arrangements filed with dark chocolate covered strawberries!!

Aja Jenise said...

She is PRE-CIOUS!! Truly what is better than the truth- from the heart. This was fun chica!!

Anonymous said...

Is that not the absolutely CUTEST
little person in the world????
I love it - and I love Melissa (bigun), Rocco, Meridith and the amazing AG!!!!

Lacey in the Sky said...

Oh man! I just about died laughing and thought "I will get you for this one Melissa!! I WILL GET YOU!" ,when I heard you ask "Remi, can you count to 56?"(cause clearly she is too cute to turn off... so I'd sit there from 1-56 cursing your name) And then I heard the hillariously sweet words "me neither..." and giggled, but got a little sad that it was over.

I'm hard to please.


Wep said...

Awww sweet :)

Genie Marie said...

so sweet. i love the video!!!

Paige said...

Hi there! I am a new follower! A girl from Keeno, who does not even blog, said that she reads your blog and loves it! So, I am now a fan! Love reading about you and your family! Stop over sometime and say howdy!


Rhea said...

That's such a sweet post. Especially with the video of Remi at the end.

Petts Allowed said...

Now Melissa-- When YOU near the age of 56 you are going to hope you have more than "few more birthdays left to celebrate". The older you get,The further away "old" is. She is only slightly a decade older than me..so watch what you say!!Kathi
(Hope she had a great birthday!--see you tomorrow)

Anonymous said...

Remi is adorable.