We Moved Remi. And By "We" I Mean "She."

Did y'all know I'm into hard labor?

Y'all didn't?

Why would you ever think I'm not?

I love hard labor. I live for hard labor. I wake up every morning and the first thing I whisper is a prayer that God would give me "good health, quiet children and the ability to lift immovable objects while listening to my back crack in 18 different places all at the same time."

And today He heard my plea.

We moved Remi. That's right. She's outta here. I have chased that child around for the last time. I seriously should be a size 2 right now. I see all these mothers HEIDI KLUM in these magazines HEIDI KLUM who swear they lost their baby weight HEIDI KLUM by simply chasing their children around HEIDI KLUM. These women are liars. Big, skinny, billionaire liars.

But that is not the point I am trying to make.

Today we moved Remi into a new room. Pretty soon Rocco will need the small room that she has been occupying and so today...Remi got A BIG GIRL ROOM!! A room with plenty of space for her toys and dolls and her "she's-played-with-it-all-of-twenty-seconds-since-we-lugged-the-300-pound-behemoth-upstairs" play kitchen. And ya know? It really made me kinda sad.

I wasn't sad because of the memories of that little room; her first nursery, the room I used to rock her to sleep in, etc. I was sad because The AG conveniently had to work late and who got to move the armoire??? MERIDITH.

I wasn't sad because I was packing up little picture frames and tiny photo albums. I was sad because it took almost 30 minutes just to get that solid oak bed down the hall. But it got done, oh yes it did. Thanks to who? You guessed it. MERIDITH.

And no, I wasn't sad when Remi walked in to discover her room was "gone-gone." I got sad when someone had to get down on the floor and pick up 8,000 puzzle pieces and toy beads. And who was that poor soul? MERIDITH.

Seeing her work like that really took it out of me.

Oh, for pete's sake. I'm kidding. I helped.

I did.

I did hard labor.

In fact, once when she was pushing the armoire down the hall she said, "Melissa, I don't think I can get it into the door without scratching it." And I watched very closely to make sure she didn't scratch anything. And sure enough...she didn't. So there! You're welcome.

Oh, but here's something interesting......back when Remi was just a baby and I had to drop her off on Wednesday nights, the "volunteer" workers at our church created a game called "Let's Dig Through Remi's Mommy's Bag And See What Junk She Has In There This Week." Once they threatened to turn me in to children's services for having only one diaper but 4 paint sticks from Home Depot.

But I lost that diaper bag long ago. Which is a shame really...as it should have gone down in the First Time Mom Hall of Shame.

Until tonight.

Tonight, as Meridith lugged another stack of puzzles down the hall I was cleaning out the closet. And found the bag. THE. BAG.

And I had to look. Oh, I just had to.

What had I been carrying the last time I carried that bag?

Know what I found? Here we go...

One diaper.

Six wipes - which were dried up as they were not in a wipes container. Just laying open in the bag.

A coupon for a free icee from Burger King, with purchase of a large fry.

A map of Bowling Green, KY.

2 socks. They were not a pair. Just two, lone socks.

A bottle.

3 bottle liners.

A paci.

My zoo membership card.

And 3 paint sticks from Home Depot.

Have a good one, y'all.