Oct 22, 2008

We Moved Remi. And By "We" I Mean "She."

Did y'all know I'm into hard labor?

Y'all didn't?

Why would you ever think I'm not?

I love hard labor. I live for hard labor. I wake up every morning and the first thing I whisper is a prayer that God would give me "good health, quiet children and the ability to lift immovable objects while listening to my back crack in 18 different places all at the same time."

And today He heard my plea.

We moved Remi. That's right. She's outta here. I have chased that child around for the last time. I seriously should be a size 2 right now. I see all these mothers HEIDI KLUM in these magazines HEIDI KLUM who swear they lost their baby weight HEIDI KLUM by simply chasing their children around HEIDI KLUM. These women are liars. Big, skinny, billionaire liars.

But that is not the point I am trying to make.

Today we moved Remi into a new room. Pretty soon Rocco will need the small room that she has been occupying and so today...Remi got A BIG GIRL ROOM!! A room with plenty of space for her toys and dolls and her "she's-played-with-it-all-of-twenty-seconds-since-we-lugged-the-300-pound-behemoth-upstairs" play kitchen. And ya know? It really made me kinda sad.

I wasn't sad because of the memories of that little room; her first nursery, the room I used to rock her to sleep in, etc. I was sad because The AG conveniently had to work late and who got to move the armoire??? MERIDITH.

I wasn't sad because I was packing up little picture frames and tiny photo albums. I was sad because it took almost 30 minutes just to get that solid oak bed down the hall. But it got done, oh yes it did. Thanks to who? You guessed it. MERIDITH.

And no, I wasn't sad when Remi walked in to discover her room was "gone-gone." I got sad when someone had to get down on the floor and pick up 8,000 puzzle pieces and toy beads. And who was that poor soul? MERIDITH.

Seeing her work like that really took it out of me.

Oh, for pete's sake. I'm kidding. I helped.

I did.

I did hard labor.

In fact, once when she was pushing the armoire down the hall she said, "Melissa, I don't think I can get it into the door without scratching it." And I watched very closely to make sure she didn't scratch anything. And sure enough...she didn't. So there! You're welcome.

Oh, but here's something interesting......back when Remi was just a baby and I had to drop her off on Wednesday nights, the "volunteer" workers at our church created a game called "Let's Dig Through Remi's Mommy's Bag And See What Junk She Has In There This Week." Once they threatened to turn me in to children's services for having only one diaper but 4 paint sticks from Home Depot.

But I lost that diaper bag long ago. Which is a shame really...as it should have gone down in the First Time Mom Hall of Shame.

Until tonight.

Tonight, as Meridith lugged another stack of puzzles down the hall I was cleaning out the closet. And found the bag. THE. BAG.

And I had to look. Oh, I just had to.

What had I been carrying the last time I carried that bag?

Know what I found? Here we go...

One diaper.

Six wipes - which were dried up as they were not in a wipes container. Just laying open in the bag.

A coupon for a free icee from Burger King, with purchase of a large fry.

A map of Bowling Green, KY.

2 socks. They were not a pair. Just two, lone socks.

A bottle.

3 bottle liners.

A paci.

My zoo membership card.

And 3 paint sticks from Home Depot.

Have a good one, y'all.


Lacey in the Sky said...

Well, YEAH- can't raise a baby right without some Home Depot paint sticks!

I think I'm starting to look like a stalker(though I know you like that sorta thing)b/c I'm always one of the first ones to comment. It's because I have freakish sleep patterns, I SWEAR. :/

Shelley said...

Wow. I am having a difficult time letting go of my diaper bag phase. (My baby is 6 years old) and I still carry a ginormous purse. I can't help it, I have to carry a little of this and a little of that, Just in case, right?
At least there were no "goodies" growing in the bag.

Sissy said...

You must show pictures of this fabulous new room. You must. A big girl room is cause for celebration.

Wep said...


Midwest Mommy said...

I too have ditched the diaper bag.

Tracy P. said...

Where can I get a Meredith?

Lynda said...

You always crack me up. Way to go, Meridith!

Lauren and Justin said...

hahahaaaaaaa. hilarious. paint sticks are vital objects sometimes. thank the lord for maridith.

Tabi said...

So, I was just leaving a comment for someone and in it I put, "I mean I'm just sayin" and instantly thought of you and how I just smoothly stole your phrase! So, now I am a stalker and a theif...you should be careful who you let read your blog because you get stuck with people like me!! I mean I'm just sayin....hahahahaha

Heather said...

I want a Meredith, too!! She sounds like a really good girl! Could you send her my way??! ;)

Rhea said...

Love the bag contents...and how hard you worked today. hehe

Kristan said...

I just switched diaper bags, and I found MONEY (granted it was 4 quarters....) butwho cares...how could I have forgot to take that out!! You brighten my day!!

happymcfamily said...

You need to post pictures of the big girl room!

I know it's not exactly stylish (at least not if you got yours from a consignment sale like we did), but I bet the play kitchen would get a tiny bit more use if it were in the big kitchen. So she can "cook" while you cook :)

Forget diaper bags. I much prefer backpacks anyway ;)

Mrs de Miranda said...

haha!! Your paint sticks reminded me of my mom! My Dad worked at Sherwin Williams, so she had a ready supply of paint sticks. And not the thin whimpy ones, the nice thick sturdy ones. When we moved out of the house I grew up in for 15 years my mom found paint sticks EVERYWHERE because we had been hiding them for years!!

haha, made me have a little laugh!

But you are such a hard worker! Way to go you!

Mc Allen said...

wow, what a day you had!!! You know, that remindes me , I have a few diaper bags hanging in my mudroom, I now have a very strong desire to go diggin and see what I might find, boy I woulkd love to find 4 quarters!!! ;) Leah 5

Big Nanny said...

I'm actually a little concerned that you lost a diaper bag in your own house, but I would also like to let your readers know that you don't always carry paint sticks, sometimes you just carry one spank spoon and one smushed up tampon in the diaper bag...no diapers.

The Willmons said...


We are praying that you get a job soon...because you need a break!

Love you guys and girls.