Oct 17, 2008

The Last Time I Talked To My Mother...

It's been a while, hasn't it? It's been while since my mom has done much that would be deemed bloggable.

Before I've told you stories like this.

Or this.

But it's been a while since she has said or done or bought or broken anything that might be worthy of your viewing pleasure.

Until now.

It's a short story, really. But it's Friday and I know you have things to do....so here goes.

Two months ago my dad's dog, Truman, went missing.
My dad thinks he was stolen because "who wouldn't want a full-blood Golden Retriever?"
My mom thinks he ran away because he wasn't "fixed" and there was a lovely young lady who lived down the road.
And my Granny thinks he wandered into the mean old woman's yard down the road and she tied him up just to throw things at him. (Don't ask.)

But nonetheless, Truman gone-gone.

My dad put up posters and more posters. And then he upped the ante. A $500 reward was offered for the return of Truman.

But weeks went by and Truman still gone-gone.

You have to understand how heart broken we all were. Truman was the most beautiful Golden Retriever you've ever seen. Was he good? No. He was horrible. He was destructive and barky and bitey and all puppy. But did we love him? Oh yes, we did. Very much.

And so when my dad got a call that someone had spotted his little Truman down at the local animal pound, and he went down there and it wasn't him, you can understand why he came home with two puppies. Because honestly, who can go to the local pound and NOT bring home a puppy? Or two?

But I digress.

Where was I?

Ah, yes. MOM.

So imagine her delight when she calls me the other night to let me know a "sweet, sweet family, as country as dirt," had called her and said THEY HAD TRUMAN! "Truman! Can you believe it? They have him and they don't want a single penny. Just the pleasure of seeing us take Truman back home! Can you believe it? Can you? Huh? Huh?"

And as I sit here in Tennessee I try - with all my might - to imagine her delight as she flew over to their home in the dark of night. I try to imagine her as she got out of the car and called for him, and he came and licked at her ankles. And I close my eyes and try to imagine how excited she was as she sat and waited in the living room of her house for my dad to get home - the dog flying all over the house in classic Truman style.

And then I try really really hard to imagine her face when my dad walked in.

But try as I might I just can't imagine her disappointment when dad told her, "It's not him, Annette. It's not Truman."


"How can you be sure?"

"Well, mainly because it's a yellow Lab."

And I try to imagine her as they loaded him back into the car. To take him back. To the sweet people who were "sweet, sweet, sweet, but country as dirt."

Kinda like my sweet momma.


32 comments:

Lacey in the Sky said...

It's either because it's 5am or I'm slow, but I'm confused! Was it Truman?

Anonymous said...

haha. that's kinda funny. And so my family. Not as funny but....One of our cats went missing and she was our mouse catcher since we lived in the country. So dad agreed that it would be okay to get another cat from the feed store. Mom, my brother and I head that way and found 2 kittens who we just couldn't seperate because they were brothers. I had one and named him Tom and my brother had one and named him Jerry. We had them for a little while and then all of a sudden the other cat comes back and now Dad isn't too happy because HE HATES the new cats. They are worthless and couldn't catch a thing but their tails, and I might add they couldn't even do that. So I come home one day from elementary school to find both Tom and Jerry missing. Day after day I called and called for them and went through the fields. I knew deep down dad either shot em with his gun or took'em somewhere. Until college did he finally admit what happened. He took them like 20 miles away and dumped them even further in the country. Well seriously like 1 month later here comes my brothers cat Jerry the one my dad hated the most. I loved it and we have him till this day. Now he is old and he and my dad are pretty good friends. (told you it isn't funny)

Suzann @ Lavender and Roses said...

Although I realize you see the humor in the story, and I am peeing myself laughing, dang that's not funny. okay, it's hysterical.

Anonymous said...

I dont get it either?

Rhea said...

I'm lost as well...sorry. I remember the video of Remi calling for Truman while y'all drove around...

Midwest Mommy said...

What? She really brought a yellow lab home? How did she not know? This is classic.

Candice said...

Well, God love her... she tried!

Denise said...

Thank you for making me laugh this morning. I would have loved to been a fly on the wall to see your dads face when he saw the Lab....hysterical!

Alice said...

Oh, so there are others like me in this universe. Thank God. I sooo get it!!! I absolutely love your precious blog!!! So glad I stumbled across it. Made my otherwise crappy morning a little more bearable!!!!!!

Lynda said...

Golden Retriever/Lab? Definitely different, but your momma sounds so cute!

Sidney said...

That so sad, but I'm still laughing out loud...

Kori said...

Hilarious! Your Mom rocks none the less. Have a fabulous weekend my dear.

Anonymous said...

Your poor Mom!
I feel for her, but really, that was too funny!
I'd have loved to see the look on that "sweet, sweet, sweet, but country as dirt" family's face when she retd!
Oh, we've got a full blood Golden Retriever who sounds a lot like your Truman! Except he can't possibly be JUST like him, b/c you didn't mention that he sheds his BODY WEIGHT in fur EVERY DAY!! I kid you not! I've NEVER dealt with anything like this before! This morning I was in the car pool line and in the bright morning sun, I looked down only to discover my nice fleece pull over was COVERED in dog hair! How?!! It had been in the closet, and I hadn't even been near him this a.m.! AMAZING!!
But I do hope Truman comes home soon.
We would be so heart broken if our fur ball ever went missing.
Thanks for the morning laugh.

Caution Flag said...

I don't know: Golden? Yellow Lab? Aren't they basically interchangeable?

DJane said...

Oh how sad. Funny but sad. Your poor mom was probably so excited to surprise your dad with Truman. Was she devastated when she found out it really wasn't him?

Found your blog through Mrs. 4444 from Half Past Kissin' Time.

Tracy P. said...

That is so hilarious. The comments are even funnier. ;-)

And hey! The Texas Gold Bars were ALL THAT, but I couldn't help thinking that a cup of chocolate chips (well, just use the whole package [except for that little handful..or two]) between the layers would not hurt a thing. But I didn't try it. Have you? Would they still be Texas Gold Bars then? Or would that make them MN Golden Gopher Bars?

Mrs de Miranda said...

hahahahaha! I loved it! I am at work and trying to compose myself, but that was soo funny!

Tassie said...

wow...your mom must feel so bad! I hope you guys find Truman soon!

Lisa aka Serahs said...

In a way it kind of reminds me of Meet the Parents except Ben Stiller knew it wasn't the same cat. At least she didn't bring him home and have the dog wreck the whole house like in the movie. Hope you guys find Truman.

Catherine said...

Thanks for the laugh and I too had re-read your blog to see that Truman was a Golden Retriever not a Yellow Lab. Catherine in Rochester, New York.

Aja Jenise said...

That was a freakin HOOT!! Ah... once again you have brought laughter to my stale day. And thanks for the chance to catch up on your moms happening. One question... I don't get the Willie thing? Thanks for the laughs Melissa!

Beth said...

This is my first time here. I really enjoyed your story telling style. You held my interest and I wanted to keep reading and now I am commenting.

:-)

Ronnica said...

I don't know dogs, but I think I would have noticed the difference. LOL

Rachel said...

Hah, I can see your mother now... "What dear this is not the right dog?" Your dad saying "Babe we have a Golden Retriever" At least we can give her a little credit.. She didn't bring home a female!

Lacey in the Sky said...

Oh man, you really have to spell it out for me sometimes, Melissa! I appreciate you for it! Poor Momma was just so danged excited she brought home the wrong kind of dog! It was sweet, even if it was the wrong dog! Haha...

By the way, I think we need an update on those beautiful babies of yours!

Wep said...

Awww....so sad :(

Julie said...

That's hilarious! Tomato/tomahto. Potato/potahto. Golden Retriever/Yellow Lab. :)

Did the family take the dog back? And has the real Truman been found?

Rhonda said...

I'm laughing at your mom's "moment", but I'm so sad for the dog that was returned like a bad pair of jeans.

Sigh.

Couldn't they have kept him too?

Evi said...

So...now they have two puppies and a lab who goes by 'Truman' (clearly a retrievers name...)
I LOVE it!
Now would be the perfect time for Truman to really come home!

Lilly's Life said...

How funny and adorable at the same time. I bet I would like your momma somehow.

** Sara ** said...

I love your blog! You have an amazing sense of humor! Your mom and I would get along.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

All I can is "Woops".