Don't Push Me Cause I'm Close To The Edge. I'm Tryin' Not To Lose My Head.

Okay, that was my personal shout-out to all you Grand Funk Railroad fans out there. All 4 of you.

Lotsa people think Diddy did that song first. Diddy did not.

Of course none of this even matters because the topic I am writing about has nothing to do with Grand Funk Railroad or Diddy. So, why then did I use these lyrics?

Because I am, indeed, close to the edge and trying not to lose my head. That's why.

Sheesh.

Keep up.

But now that I think about it, today's post should have been entitled "Dear Meridith." In fact, I shall now declare that heretofore I shall call this post "Dear Meridith."

P.S.

I just looked up the definition to the word heretofore, and I am not using it correctly. at. all. But I am in the mood for something old and Jane Austinish and I'm using it anyway. But I beseech you to send me nary a comment about it or I shalt track thee down and plunder thee. Oh wait, let me Google the word "plunder."

Nope, won't be doing that.

But you get the gist.

On with it!

Dear Meridith,

Tonight you mentioned something in passing that I would like to discuss with you. It is a private matter so I am only writing to you about it here, on my blog.

Earlier this evening after dinner was fixed we all plopped down on the couch for some T.V. For we are American - and this is what we do. As you were checking your email you noticed that the AG and I were watching Fringe. I believe your word were, "Are y'all still watching that show?"

Now certainly you weren't talking about the actual SHOW. For Fringe is a J.J. Abrams show and so I think you know how I feel about all things J.J. Abrams. I love it. Yes, Fringe makes no sense to me. And yes, it is entirely over my head. But it is cool. So I will continue to watch it until I can come up with a coherent sentence to use in conversation that will impress people. I believe people are growing tired of my references to Gopher and Isaac. I have got to move on.

But no, you were referring to the actual episode.

And that leads me to my note to you.

Yes, we were still watching the episode that previously aired on Tuesday night the 23rd. Because - and here goes - it takes us 11 days to watch one full hour of television.

I am not sure if everyone has this problem. We do. If you are going to live with us you need to be made aware of it right now.

Oftentimes we sit down with every intention of watching a show in it's entirety. Rarely, rarely, does that actually happen. I normally am not one to point the finger. Honestly, you know this about me. I would rather walk on my lips that talk about someone, but I have to say, the fault here lies with one person. Only one.

Oh, sure. She's cute. But she's a master at television mind control. You wouldn't know it by looking at her. But she hates the T.V. Unless Elmo is on it. Or Max. Or his busybody sister, Ruby. Other than those few there is really nothing on television she like for us to watch.

So she plots.

And she plans.

And when we turn the television on she suddenly needs a cuppy. Or a bath. She suddenly decides that the puzzle she threw across the room hours earlier is calling her name. The cat she normally ignores she now decides to chase. The food she turned her nose up at, suddenly smells delightful. She wants to read, or draw, color or paint. She wants to sit in my lap. Her daddies lap. Her 1 month old brother's lap. She wants to call Bonga. She wants to sing into a hairbrush. She wants to learn Spanish. She wants to check Priceline for tickets to Marrakesh.

You name it. She suddenly wants to do it.

So yes, we are "still watching that show." We also just finished the series finale of Everybody Loves Raymond. Just found out who shot J.R. And just spent two hours trying to vote for Reuben Studdard.

Get used to it.

Tomorrow night, after dinner, we will all retire to the living room to finish watching Micheal Phelps go for his first gold. If Remi will let us.

I do hope you'll join us.