Aug 22, 2008

Persecution.

Okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve been off my game.

I have.

I spent Monday running my Random Integer Generator numbers. Well, that right there is living proof that a person has nothing to write about when they use an entire day’s post to award TWO people two USED books. Sheesh, what is wrong with me?

Then I wrote to you about my phone. MY PHONE, PEOPLE! You deserve better than that.

And let’s not forget the drivel I tried to force down you on Wednesday. Even my personal friend and Pastor – whom I have always been under the assumption was supposed to encourage and edify his sheep with things like, “Melissa, your talents are so vast and plenty that you may very well change humankind. Come, let us reason together how you, alone, can revolutionize society,” yeah, right – even he told me, “Who cares if you haven’t ever seen Saving Private Ryan, or whatever it is. Nobody cares about that kind of stuff. It’s been kinda boring this week.”

Dear Pastor, my offering will be late this week.

* Note: I have seen Saving Private Ryan. It’s The Green Mile I haven’t seen. So, HA!

So after I hang up the phone from this persecuting pastor I asked the only real man I can trust. You know him, say it with me now...The Attorney General.

“Oh man…it’s been bad this week. Real bad. You gotta come up with some different stuff.”

Come up with?”

What? I write about my life. If it ain’t perplexing to you – do something about it.
Take me somewhere.
Buy me something.
Get me out of the house.
Take me to a restaurant.
A movie.
Something!


As I write this, I am in the car on the way to visit my family in Texas.

And you thought next week was gonna be boring. I think not.

I’m gonna bring it to you, TEXAS STYLE. Which sounds really fancy and all, but really just means I plan on using my camera and video camera to post things about my family that are both entertaining - and mortifying.

My apologies for this week. Good times are ahead folks. Good times.

31 comments:

Tabi said...

You may think your boring, but your wrong! I still get my daily morning laugh from your blog, even this week!! So, coming to my area of the world!! Come pratically naked because it's HOT!! I'm talking stay in the house for weeks on end hot and beg for your air to work just a little better hot! Hope you enjoy your time with your family!!

Givinya De Elba said...

Oh don't worry about it! Those bloggy slumps are unavoidable! The Funny comes back. I guess there'll be planty of it in Texas, y'all!

Shelley said...

Hey Melissa,

Safe travel to you and yours. I can't wait to see what you bring next. Girl, you ain't borin'. You're an adventure.

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

I don't think you're boring, but I sure am looking forward to stories about your family next week!

Melissa said...

Never a dull moment when a Melissa is involved.
Bring me back some Julio's!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Dang girl! You need to put a little less pressure on yourself....!!!!

Anonymous said...

Sista, tell you Momma hi for me and that it was awesome to finally meet she and your Daddy! Have a ABSOFREAKINLUTLY great visit with your family! I'm praying for ALL of you... hahaha you're gonna need it!

Love you!
Kimberly J.

justjuli said...

*So* not boring!
You write about everyday things - but add your own personality to it.

You've still had me laughing. :)

That said - I am still looking forward to you bringing it "Texas Style". yeehaw!

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh you're great! Can't wait to see the Texas pics!

Sidney said...

Love anything you write, and you're definitely not boring!

Stop by and see me in Texas! I'm so sure you'll be in MY area.....

Kendrawolf said...

Have fun in Texas. Can't wait to hear about it!

Heather W said...

My friends and I were just saying that we should invite you to go on a Girls' Night Out with us the next time you were in Texas. We all see you as one of our friends since we read your blog everyday. We too think it is weird that we all talk about you like you are a long distant friend, even though we have never met. If you are up for a little Girls Night Out we live in Cypress, Texas and you can reach us via e-mail (hrwessels@comcast.net). Have a good trip and Welcome to the HEAT...I mean TEXAS!!!

mommaof4wife2r said...

i feel for you...i have a preemie. Enough said.

Anyway, here's a virtual girls night or drink on me. I need a few of those things on your list. My last movie...Horton Hears a Who...is that descriptive or what?

Kori said...

You're doing a fine job obviously or you wouldn't have all these lovely commenters like myself. lol

you keep in stitches daily.

Ashley said...

Yea, uhm, if this is your bad week I think we'll just all retire from this blogging stuff. Can't wait for the 'mortifying' moments. I'm sure the AG is looking forward to it. You still have to get him back for the cafeteria lady post. Hehe! :)

Britt said...

Well I have enjoyed this week.

But can I say, I hope you aren't typing while driving .. because that could really shorten the life-span of this blog .. and you know, other important things like you :o)

I got a kick out of imagining you steering the wheel with one hand, hunt/pecking with the other.

Rae said...

Looking forward to some good Texas Style stories!

Rhonda said...

It's not WHAT you write about, but how you write it that keeps us coming back. I'm so sorry to disappoint you there. Although I am looking forward to some mortifying family stories...

Do you remember my favorite post of yours? Yes, it's the time you had to ummmm... hurry to the bathroom through the funhouse.

A bowel movement.

That's my favorite.

So, clearly, you can write about ANYTHING and I will keep reading!

Have a great weekend.

Lauren W said...

Don't you worry. I feel like I've been having one of those weeks for a while now... It happens to the best of us.
Can't wait for those Texas posts!

Sherri - KaysvilleMomma said...

Don't worry about us!! We know you have been going through a lot... I cna't wait to see what next week brings!!

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

Hey, we are all here for the long haul, girl! Don't be apologizing to us. And, speaking as a Texas girl, "y'all come on now, ya hear. Have ya self a good 'ole time." Can't wait to here about your family visit!

Ronnica said...

I've had a boring blog week as well. It's never good when you have to fall back on two random posts AND a meme!

Texas is good for the blogger though. I always have lots of bloggy fodder when I come home...

wy-not said...

Melissa, girl, I am a LOONG way from Texas, and I love weird wacky family stuff, but I loved you this week! See, that's why we love you like we do! If this is what you call boring, you ain't never met BORING the way I know it. And neither has the AG. And neither has your pastor. Keep bringin' it home, girl. As far as I'm concerned, you're hitting the ball out of the park every time. Have big-size fun in big old Texas!

Rhea said...

You're headed to Texas?! I'm in Texas. What part of Texas?

Lynda said...

As a seventh generation Texan, all I can say is, "Yeeha! Come on down, girl!"

Leighann said...

Men just don't understand the details like we do. We women all want to know what movies we haven't seen or want to see or are our favorite. Haven't they ever been forwarded the 40 questions email that is cc'd to our 50 closest friends. 'Cause you know, we all need to know what color socks we have on and what we are listening to 'right now.' Seriously, I've enjoyed the whole week. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's the men...you choose. ;)

Kimberley said...

I love what you have to say, no matter what you say!

I can't believe you talk to your pastor on the phone. Wow!

Happy Weekend, and safe travels.

Merrie said...

You never bore me, sister!
Looking forward to Texas.

Blissful Nikki said...

well, I dont think you have been boring at all! :) I enjoy all of your posts because they are about life, and we dont all have super exciting lives all the time!

And I hope you have a good time in Texas! Its been pretty mild here lately, in the upper 80's lower 90's! But I'm in Austin, so it could be different where you are going! hehe

Breanne Vasquez said...

Tag you are it. See my blog - no pressure though:)

Kimberly said...

I absolutely love to read your blog everyday that I can. No matter what I always find myself coming back and loving what you say. I am so looking forward to next week...Texas always has somthing great to share! :)