Jul 23, 2008

Wednesdays Never Work For Me.


So I am trying my hand at this whole "Blog Carnival" thing again. If you've been here very long you know the last one I did brought in like, 4 comments. Oh yeah. That's success no matter how you look at it.


So as you can see "Blog Carnivaling" did not work for me. I'm hoping to change that.


However, the title of the Blog Carnival from over at Rocks In My Dryer is called "Works for Me Wednesday." Which is rather unfortunate considering...well, nothing ever, ever, works for me.

Here are examples of things I've tried. And yet failed miserably at.

1. Losing weight. Discuss amongst yourselves.

2. Getting Remi to quit dukin' it out with the cute little blond girl in her Sunday School class.

3. I once tried to leave a "sexy" scavenger hunt around our house for the Attorney General. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS FOLLOW THE CLUES!! But instead he just walked right onto our back porch where I was arrayed in all my glory and said, "What in the world are you doing?" (Though apparently I got this to work...eventually. Just look here.)

4. I tried to stay awake during Harry Potter. No. can. do.

5. I once tried to drive past Marble Slab Creamery. See #1.

6. My Beef-Tips and Rice. Somewhere the AG is still spitting something up.

7. I once tried to punish Remi by making her go all day without cartoons. I think we know who was really being punished here. Am I right?

8. I have a brand new Eliptical machine in my bonus room. 'Nuff said.

9. I have tried every single solitary game at every single solitary carnival/fair I've ever been too. And I've never won anything. Ever. (I take that back...I once won a cake in a cakewalk. This was embarrassing considering by the looks of me I should not be participating in said cakewalk.) Again, see #1.

10. I once tried out for cheerleader. That did not work out for me. Apparently when I jump I do not move. That was a problem for that stinkin' student body who did the voting.

Oh, people. That is just the short list. Just the itty bitty short list. I assure you. So why, then, am I doing a Blog Carnival on what works for me?

To show you that with a little positivity you can turn this thing around. See? I'm going to try. I'm not going to focus on the fact that this morning I went and did my water aerobics at 8:30 and then came home and ate my daughter's weight in BACON.
No, I'm not gonna hang out there. Cause what good will it do me?

And I'm not going to focus on the fact that within 20 minutes my sweet husband will walk in the door, my house is a wreck, I have boiled chicken and done absolutely nothing else with it, and I haven't put on make-up in 8 days. No, I'm going to focus on what I CAN DO. What WILL WORK for me!

I'm going to focus on the fact that within the next 20 minutes I can run like a bat out of heck around this house,
throw toys across a room and have them land in a toybox,
cut up a boiled chicken just to throw him off an make him think I have a plan,
sit Remi on the couch in her gown so that he thinks she's already been bathed,
turn on some worship music so that he thinks I'm in a good and peaceful mood,
and still have time to hop in the shower so he thinks I'm clean. Just for him.

Whoo.

And that, my friends, is what works for me.

What works for you? C'mon now. Momma needs some help here.

61 comments:

Perksofbeingme said...

I am running out the door for work and wanted to make sure you know that you have an award from me here: http://perksofbeingme.blogspot.com/2008/07/blog-award.html

I'll comment again this afternoon!

Jaci said...

I love this! You have me laughing at 8 am--and honey, that just doesn't happen around here!

I swear you are my long lost sister. We've got the same problems, including our kids fighting in Sunday school.

The scavenger hunt that turned into "What are you doing?" Oh, I have SO been there. Dusty eliptical? Check. It's time for Kevin to come home, the house is trashed, and I'm still wearing stinky PJ's? Check. I blogged about that one. See "Dinner Time at Jaci's".

I love you, hon! Stinky PJ's hugs from me (and Elizabeth, who isn't even wearing pants).

Karol said...

Lol...you and Jaci are too funny! Sounds like our house here! Except I'm not much of a cooker...when Carl walks in the door HE gets greeted with "Hi Honey! What's for dinner?"

We're lucky if the dishes and a load of laundry get done around here!

I'm still staring at the project I started on monday night. I got some energy to organize the boys' clothes totes(all 8 HUGE totes). Yeah...they're all sitting in my dining room that you can barely walk through!

As long as you're happy! That's my reasoning..maybe.. ;)

Lula! said...

What works for me? Julio's.

Yes, I'm gonna keep on 'til they're in my hands. Have you not learned anything about me by now?

Sigh...

Todd Wright said...

There are a couple of words in this post that I find funny. Or disgusting. I'm not sure.

"Dukin'" - Not a fan. Until I read "w/ another girl at Sunday School" I thought this was a potty post.

"Sexy" - I think it's hilarious that you put this in quotation marks. Funny. Sometimes the AG is just too smart for his own good, huh?

Jill said...

I am laughing so hard right now that I can't put together a full thought! Way to go!

monica@transplanting me said...

wednesdays don't work for me, either. i'm not sure what day of the week does. hmmm...

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

What works for me? Macaroni and Cheese.

Fuschia said...

Cute post! And don't think for one minute with 5 kids I can't completely relate...especially #1...Ugh!

Brenda said...

Thanks for the morning laugh! I can especially relate to #7!

Kimberly said...

Oh all I can do is laugh right now! That is what works for me...laughing early in the morning because everything you said is so true! :)

Heather said...

What works for me? Reading these blogs and realizing that I am not alone in this crazy life. You.Crack.Me.Up.

Thanks for starting my day off with a laugh!

Kelly said...

Well it certainly looks like you surpassed the 4 comments you got at your previous "Wednesday works for me" post...and all before 830 am. WOO HOO!
As always thanks for the am laugh and smile :)

Heather W said...

I know this is off subject but Estelle Getty died. I know you are a huge fan of Golden Girls and didn't know if you knew.

Now on the subject, I have to say I am great at setting goals and making lists of goals but it's the follow through that gets me every time. Well at least I am good at something. Silver lining people, Silver lining.

Octamom said...

Hysterical! Just the giggle I needed (I always feel a bit Works for Me Wednesday inadequate--never even bothered to try to post)--but, Houston, we might have a problem--I do scrapbook BUT I think that buttercream frosting is the only product which should grace baked goods (who came up with that crazy 'whipped' thing anyway?) So maybe you can grandfather me in with a provision for the scrapbooking thing...

Blessings!

Jeni said...

Oh, my...you made me LAUGH this morning! I love reading posts like this, posts that let me know I'm not the only one who doesn't have it all together.

One thing that always makes me feel better, though, is a reverse To-Do list. When I'm feeling bummed, or like I'm not getting anywhere with the things I need to do, I sit down and make myself a little list of the things I've already accomplished that day. For instance, today, 9 a.m.:
Got up & dressed
Smooched toddler, got her dressed
Breakfast for 3
Started a load of laundry
Bathed the dog
Checked in with the internet world

See? I already feel better...

Sheri said...

What works for me? Reading other peoples blogs and realizing that they are just as normal as I am! Like my whirlwind clean the house 'cause new guy I'm talking to is suddenly dropping by just so I can be casually sitting on the front porch swing, "Oh hey, what's up?" Oh, and taking my dog to swim in the river. It's total de-stressing/appreciate how great the world we've been given time that I enjoy every single night.

Alyssa said...

Hi. I'm new here - found you through Rocks in my Dryer. Love your list. It's also much easier for me to come up with what doesn't work for me. I should try that next week. I just wanted to say hi and not be a lurker.

And you're funny. And I can relate to, um, EVERYTHING on your list.

Brooke said...

crap. now i want ice cream. thanks a lot. :|

:)

Jenni said...

What I hate more than the things that don't work for me is when people see them not working and "helpfully" tell you what works for them. 'cause THAT makes me feel better.

Memarie Lane said...

When I do WFMW, the vast majority of my comments come from my regular readers. I think that may be true of most WFMW posts. It does boost the traffic though, that's for sure.

Melissa said...

So glad we're on the same page. I don't smell very delightful on most days for lack of showerage. I don't look very pleasant for lack of makeupage. I do a spot check about 15-20 minutes before the hub gets home to make it look like I haven't been loafing all the day through. Unfortunately, too many times, I've been caught trying to get up from my computer chair just as the man is walking through the door. I try to make it appear as though I've been productive, however, I believe he just lets me think I'm getting away with something.....:)
You are not alone. I ate some coffee ice cream right out of the carton last night. I stopped myself just short of eating the rest of the contents. Even with Celiac Disease I can't lose weight!

Jodi said...

LOVE it! Here's to life that's just way too crazy to manage sometimes! My problem is that even when 1 thing works, there are 100+ that seem to simultaneously be not working! C'est la vie! enjoy!

Sarah Shalley said...

I have a really delicious beeftips and rice recipe if ya want it. It goes in the crockpot and sits all day. The easiest!

Sarah

Melisa@andbabywillmake4 said...

What works for me? Eating out, sleeping late, getting Hubby to cook when we don't go out and taking naps during the day. I know there is more that works for me, but I'll stick with those for now.

Heather said...

Constantly blogging and neglecting every stitch of laundry I have works for me. Not for anyone else...but definitely for me.

Mrs. S said...

I always love reading your blog. Makes me smile...and laugh.

It's so awesome that you know exactly what to do in order to make it work for you.

Perksofbeingme said...

You can definitely be honored to be on your blog roll. Expect an e-mail from me about The Shack soon!

Z's Mom said...

Oh, I do love your list...I love Harry Potter....but we can still get along you and I! I love that you won a cakewalk....I didn't even know people still had those.

Sounds like what works for me and you is similar...I don't do a whole lot during the day when I get to be home...but at the last minute I will run around like a mad woman to try and make it look like I got SOMETHING done that day.

kelliinreallife said...

You have no idea how much I needed this laugh

Rachel said...

This is the funniest post I've read in a long time!

And #1 never works for me either, despite having a #8 in the living room and no #5 within 30 miles.

Deanna said...

Dump some BBQ sauce on that boiled chicken and dab a little behind your ears. He'll never know the difference!

Sarah W. said...

I am laughing so hard. My favorite had to be about who is being punished for cartoons. You are hilarious!!!!

Tamara said...

I do believe we could be friends! YOu are hilarious! I just found you through WFMW and WOW, you are too funny! Thanks for the good morning laugh!! :) Come visit www.cosbyfamily.wordpress.com

Karen said...

I can so relate to your entire post. I always come up with these grandiose menus and plans to clean the house, the kid, the yard and the dog. Then it all goes to pot and I hose everything off at the last minute and order in pizza....

Karen said...

Thank you for telling it like it is. You made my day.

Lynda said...

You are really hilarious. The only other thing I would do is give the dog mass quantities of dog food so that he's laid out and AG thinks you took him for a long walk, too.

franticallysimple said...

"daughter's weight in bacon" sounds a bit cannibalistic. Gross.
I now know the answer to "If I threw up in my mouth while laughing hysterically would it come out my nose?"

Rhonda said...

Okay, first off, I'd like to say "What's wrong with getting four comments?" You say that like it's a bad thing. I celebrate when I have four comments! lol

What works for me:
1. Slushes (See your #1)
2. Chocolate (Again, your #1)
3. Soccer (I love it, but I'm no good at it.)
4. Reading
5. Blogging
6. Facebook-ing
7. Trying to hide my constant slushes, chocolate, reading, blogging and facebook-ing from my husband. The soccer helps him to think that I am working on the previously mentioned "your #1".

Said husband is letting me think that it's working, but I think he really knows the truth.

Crap.

Karen said...

Theres an open packet of bacon in my fridge ...

I went and di some dishes, to gt my mind off it...

But now I'm back at the computer and the bacon is on my mind again!

What works for me, is that out there in blogland, there are people who have messy houses, love bacon, are struggling with losing weight, are funny, like books I like and so on. I now longer feel alone :-)

Amy Jo said...

What works for Me...Well, a package came in the mail today, and for the past hour my three children have been popping packing bubbles...and let me to you, THAT WORKS FOR ME PEOPLE! there is no fighting, or screaming!....yet! It also doesn't hurt that naptime is in 30 minutes and I will be going to the bathroom alone for the first time today! excting, huh?!?

Amy Jo

happymcfamily said...

Ok, I'm not going to get made fun of for actually giving non-funny answers am I? (I already know the answer to this I think.) I guess you could say I'm a nerd...

1. I have a meal plan list and I just go down the line. It makes it so much easier to not wonder about what we are doing for supper. When I make out my grocery list I shop according to my meal plan. It saves money and I don't usually have things spoiling uneaten in the fridge. (If you want a copy of my list, just email me. I actually based my original list off someone else's and changed it to things I like.)

2. I halfway do FlyLady. I don't go through all of the FlyLady routines to a T, but I do try to at least do the daily missions. And I apply a FlyLady method of setting a timer for 10 minutes. Whatever you need to tackle, work on it for 10 minutes and just stop when the timer is up. You'd be amazed at what you can do in 10 minutes.

3. The nerdiest part of all... I have a daily checklist of things that need to be done and I add to it as I go. If I do something really productive that wasn't on the list, I have to write it on the list just so I can check it off *embarrassed face here*. But seriously, after having a kid my brain decided to disappear somewhere and it hasn't come back yet. So if I don't write down a list I just wander around like a lost puppy.

There, that's what works for me, as far as housework is related.

Amy said...

I am SO with you on this one!!

Kendrawolf said...

Sounds like you run your house like I run mine. You go girl!!

Sherri - KaysvilleMomma said...

Are you me?

AGSoccerMom said...

Girl your funny........

Anonymous said...

I just try to make it one day at a time....that works for me. Especially when working 6 back to back twelves. Then I crash for a day and then make up for it the next day and try to cram it all in.

Would like to get Sarah's recipe for crockpot beef tips and rice, happymcfamily's meal list and what the heck is a "flylady?"

Michelle

Robin said...

I, too, jump out of the computer chair as I hear my husband coming in. But, I think he can tell by the swivel of the chair! My time is coming to a close though, I go back to work (I teach) next week. Pray for me! Oh, what works for me? running through Starbucks for a latte and getting pedicures and realizing that I can't do it all and to not feel guilty about it!

Mrs. S said...

http://thesclub.blogspot.com/2008/07/wordy-wednesday.html
Tag you're it!

Sissy said...

I don't know if we can be friends anymore. I mean, you had me until you FELL ASLEEP during Harry Potter!! You FEEL ASLEEP?? Imagine me as Rachel saying this to Ross after he fell asleep reading her letter. And if you don't know what that means, it's really over!

Tonight I am having Bunny tracks ice cream in a cone and you can make quesadillas with that chicken. That's what works.

RainyPM said...

I have to point out that 50 comments probably works for you. ;) Thanks for the laughs!

Muthering Heights said...

LOL, I'm having one of hose days too! Hang in there!

jskell911 said...

What a wonderful attitude and sense of humor you have! And your blog design is awesome!!!

Sarah Shalley said...

anonymous [Michelle] - email me at sarahshalley@gmail.com and I'll be happy to send it to you. Better yet, maybe I'll post a recipe on my photography blog. haha! FlyLady is a CRAZY THING but sometimes I secretely want to get in the groove. Google it and check it out! Stop by my blog sometime if you can! www.sarahshalley.blogspot.com

Sarah Shalley said...

Melissa - Was just gonna let you know that you're on my google reader so I'll be followin' you wherever you go! THANKS for the comment. I'm totally loving you. The book idea was FABULOUS too!

Sarah

Annie said...

Well, your blog post WORKED FOR ME, even if it didn't WORK FOR YOU. But why listen to me? I love scrapbooking!

Rhea said...

Swimming works for me right now. With two boys home all day, all summer, I have to find ways to exhuast them without wearing myself out.

We've been spending a LOT of time at the pool. They play and swim and get tired...I swim a little, work on a tan and READ by the pool. Very nice and relaxing.

I couldn't survive the summer without it.

You are hilarious, woman. Just hilarious.

Vicki said...

Uh, not much help here. That's about what works for me too. And I have to say, hubby always thinks I've working longer than I really have, because it takes him all day to list those things you (and I) do in twenty minutes. Score!

Oh, I do have one tip that worked for me when Reagan was Remi's age. Switch her doorknob so that the lock is on the outside. Just ask if you need more info...

Kirstin said...

That's awesome! and look, more than 4 comments. I feel the same way at times...uh...nothing is working! And I'd sure love a lot of comments too! With all the visitors, how is it that only a few comments happen?

Veggiemomof2 said...

Oh you just belong to the group like me who needs to read ALL the "W4MW posts" to actually get a handle on life.

By the way, I have the same problem w/weight loss until I started weight watchers. I'd go to the meeting & get excited about losing weight, then go do my grocery shopping & NOT buy all the junk food in the store. No junk food in the house, I lost weight LOL

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