Jun 23, 2008

V. very B. bad S. sign

This year's Vacation Bible School theme is....uhhhh....you know what....I'm not exactly sure.

It has something to do with water.

I think.

So maybe, Jaws?

The Perfect Storm?

Of course, considering that our numbers for tomorrow morning are already topping the 600 mark, I'm going with...Mutiny On The Bounty.

(By the way, if you are reading this here bloggy and are from some Northern state and wonder what all this Vacation Bible School talk is about, well, Vacation Bible School is a southern thing that we do in order to make ourselves seem more self-sacrificing. So later in the week when our momma's call us - as mine most assuredly will - and ask us,
"Have you cleaned that refrigerator out yet?" - as mine most assuredly will - we can say,
"Oh Lordy, momma, I've been working Vacation Bible School all week."
And she'll say, "Oh mercy, bless your heart, sweet thing. Just take a load off and call me back later."
And we'll hang up and smile.
And although we'll be tired and exhausted and smell like something dead, we will know it was all worth it cause it got our momma off our back for one more week.
The end. Amen.)

Either way, aren't you glad I'm serving your children this week? That should make you feel all warm and fuzzy and not at all concerned.

Seriously. I have mucho experience in the dramatic arts. I sing whether people want to hear me or not. And I pretty much have no fear of public speaking. So therefore....I am serving snacks.

Why are you laughing? They're serving graham crackers with white icing on Wednesday. So for me? It's all about the Wednesday.

To God be the Glory.

P.S. There is a good chance I will be blogging periodically this week about various children I spend time with. So if I am serving yours, tell them to be good. Or else their name goes out on this here information super-highway. And by "be good" I mean....
a.) no talky backy
b.) no calling Miss Melissa names like "Hey cookie lady,"
c.) no making fun of Miss Melissa if they see her with Oreo between her teeth or white icing on her chin
d.) and no asking for seconds. That is an absolute. In fact, I would go so far as to say that if they're even late to snacks - they lose their cookie. What happens to it is anyones guess. To bad. Their loss.

If you've worked VBS this year or any year and have a story to add to my "Stretch Marks does VBS Extravaganza" then leave me a comment. Or email me. If your story wins then...well, nothing. But you'll have the pleasure of knowing you won. And I may call your momma and ask her to lay off you just one more week. No lie. I'm not above it.

So what's your story?

62 comments:

Kelley said...

Oh girl...I can't pass this one up. I have to be honest right out of the chute and say that I have a certain disdain for VBS. I know how bad that sounds...I really do but, hey, we weren't all equipped to do everything. I struggled through and did it every.single.year for a long time because I felt obligated then, suddenly, I was reminded of that "cheerful heart" thing and decided I should bow out. Last year was the first year I opted out and, can I just tell you, that our VBS starts this very day (actually night) and I am not working nor was I even asked to? Thank you Jesus!

I have two great VBS stories. One cute and sweet. One...umm...not so much.

The first involved my sister and I teaching a class of 5 year olds. Early in the day we had taught the story of Moses and the parting of the sea. That afternoon, as we were waiting for parents to (would you PLEASE hurry up and come GET.YOUR.KID? Oh, did I say that out loud?) pick their precious ones up, we were recapping and asked, "does anyone remember what the Lord did for Moses?". Little Garrett replied (very put out by my stupid question), "uh, YEAH, he made him a sidewalk!!!".

The next story, God rest her soul, has to do with a little old lady who used to attend my church. She was, uh, mentally challenged. One of my favorite memories about her was that she CARRIED a cane. Yes...carried it. She never actually used it, it just hung over her wrist all the time and she would point it at people. Anyway, I was blessed one year to have her as my helper for VBS. We were doing a craft one day (the children were around 4-5 years old and, oftentimes, a little scared by Ms. Peggy) and she was walking around peering over the kids' shoulders at their work. Suddenly, she grabbed up one child's paper and exclaimed, "Well, YOU'VE DONE SCREWED THAT UP!!!". True story. Really. No kidding.

Now that I think about it...this is good post material. I may have to do a VBS post of my own.

Lula! said...

Last week was spent in the Tiki Snack Shack for me, aka, Mrs. VBS. I have no stories to impart, 'cause I'm working dilligently to slough off the excess poundage gained while serving the kids. And myself.

Oh, and no trying to steal my Mrs. VBS crown. I've doggone earned it. I lived God's unshakable Truth and I'm here to tell about it.

Connie said...

Melissa...VBS is not only a southern thing...we Northerners have VBS too. (even CATHOLICS do it! haha) I have taken my kids but have never worked it...at our church the parochial high schoolers work the VBS for Christian service hours...what a concept! Gives parents a break!

Off topic but you are too on my blogroll...*(3rd as a matter of fact!) I will tell you that the creepy 79 yr. old neighbor grabbed my boobs (double handful grab) and told me he thinks of me when he's in bed and when he's cold in bed at night...thoughts of me warm him from across the street. I was blown away! Now you know why him seeing me in the hot tub skeeved me out!

KimmyJ said...

Just dropped my kiddos at VBS - Power Lab Science something or other....can't volunteer, cuz I gotta work. :( Now give me an oreo!

Trish said...

Kids are at VBS at neighborhood church as we speak. Yes even in the "Unchurched" pacific northwest we have VBS.
Just before dropping my sweet little urchins off I gave them "the lecture" about being respectful and thankful because all those people who were there making sure that they have a good time are VOLUNTEERS, so be nice. I forgot to warn them about the snack lady.

In two weeks they head up to grandma and papa's for a week of VBS at their church!!!

ugagirl30 said...

I cannot begin to impart the stress our VBS had on my life this year. Me--a future elementary school teacher--almost killed some five-year olds. I am not going to re-type the story because I already ranted, I mean blogged, about it. Check it out.

http://thebowenchaos.blogspot.com/2008/06/food-nazis.html
and
http://thebowenchaos.blogspot.com/2008/06/first-murder-at-vbs.html

Yes, it took two posts to rant. Hope you enjoy my suffering.

Kristen Schiffman said...

Oh not VBS. I nearly lost my life one year. My ovaries actually tied themselves - I kid you not.

Had I been a biblical character I think it is safe to say I'd be one of the disciples holding the kiddies back from Jesus. Horrible, I know. But of course, He would turn and look at me saying, "Let the children come to me..." And I would have to obey. ; )

HotMommy said...

My BFF and I taught 3-year-olds this past week. At the end of the day with one little girl left, we decided to take turns going to claim our infants from the nursery.

After my BFF won the coin toss, I was left with Little Miss Remaining. She ask, "Is your baby in your tummy?"

I replied, "No, my baby is in the nursery."

Little Miss Remaining then asked, "What IS in your tummy?"

My answer....."SNACK!"

Lisa said...

What Kelley's first paragraph said.

Really.

Adrienne said...

Hey, I am from Oregon and we have VBS. Just to let you know! haha!

OME YEAR... (I dont even like kids)... ONE YEAR, I decided that I should do VBS voluntarily... it turned out alright... I got a hot boyfriend out of it! hahaha. This was a long time ago, but I always found the "Loves of my life" ah, the teenage years... Actually... I think we made out in the pastor's office. *Achem*

Yeah, i thought this story was going to have more to it. I hated volunteering at VBS really. I didn't like the kids, it was at a church I didnt know and I had to sing and dance in front of the parents. *sigh* that's like the worsts thing ever for a 15 year old. (Now 20 years old lol)

Thanks for the great memories. lol.. Haven't thought about VBS volunteering in a long while!
scrappin-a-rose.blogspot.com

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